Old age

[Al James]

Does anyone else here worry about what will happen to them once they reach old age? At the age of 42 I'm probably a bit closer to it than most on this forum but sometimes I find myself getting really anxious. The surgery I'm planning on having is going to leave me with some obviously female parts below so what will happen if I end up in a nursing home? What's the point in being stealth all my life if once I reach old age everyone will know about me anyway? Also will they get to a time where they decide that I'm too old to need anymore testosterone injections ?

[Arch]

This is one reason I'm planning bottom surgery. But I worry terribly about the T issue. All I can do is make sure I have community and/or allies to fall back on and help me out if I am not getting what I need.

[AdamMLP]

I'm in my teens and probably have a different perspective on this because of it,  but they way I think if it is that anything could happen. I could die/be paralysed in a years time, and I can either transition and get a while in a body I'm more comfortable in, being called a name I agree with, or I could live in fear of what might happen when I get old.

You don't know what changes will have happened by the time you get old enough to be in a nursing home, if you are ever in one, and attitudes may have changed considerably by then. Yeah you wouldn't be stealth, but you wouldn't be discriminated against either. It would be hard for any responsible doctor to take you off T if you have a hysto as well, as their essentially leaving you without any sec hormones in your body if they do.

Live life in the present, and worry about old age when you get there.

[King Malachite]

Personally, I don't see myself living to old age and I'm perfectly fine with that, so I agree with lxdr.   Live life in the present and worry about old age when you get there. You may not need a nursing home for a long time, maybe 20-40 years.  I imagine that in at least 20 years transgender people will be more accepted and people simply won't care as much.  Keep in mind that the people will be taking care of you in that time will have likely been born at least the year 2000, or even the 90's so naturally theres more acceptance with each decade.  If you are in the states, then perhaps Nebido will be available by then so you will only have to take T every few month or so.  I'd like to think that th majority of doctors will still prescribe you T because it's medically necessary.

[aleon515]

Well I'm closer than you are Al. Yeah I worry about these things sometimes. I also wonder re: bottom surgery because of it, but think I am way too small for meta. Though I think that at a certain point the T is less needed, I know certain things go backwards if you stop, but I do know of guys who have been on T for 20 years or so that had to stop for other reasons.

--Jay

[Al James]

Guess for me the problem is I don't like change and I don't like journeying into the unknown so this whole thing is like a major head mess for me. So because I have to go through this I'm focusing on other things that I might be able to control. My concerns about the future aren't enough to stop me doing what I have I do- I guess it's because my future is more of a reality now is making me think about it

[wheat thins are delicious]

This is something I worry about a lot, specifically the "what if I need to be in a nursing home" line of thinking.  I fear discrimination in a situation where I need caregivers or people to advocate for me.  I can only hope that I have my siblings to rely on as well as any potential children they may have.  I don't feel as though they won't be there to help provide care/advocate for me because they are incredibly supportive of me. 

[sad panda]

I think by the time you get old there will be a lot better public understanding and acceptance of gender issues if that helps.

[Bombadil]

The people who work there have seen so much and they are typically overworked and I just think what seems like a huge deal to us (and a lot of others) isn't that big a deal to them. I'm not saying discrimination can't happen. But I think the ones who are likely to discriminate are the same ones who are likely to be treating people bad no matter what.

[Arch]

Elderly people in general are routinely abused and neglected in nursing homes around the country. I'm not saying that this treatment is the rule--it's the exception--but it pops up in the news quite often, and those are only the cases we hear about. And elderly gays and lesbians apparently get more crap than straights. So I'm not holding my breath that things will be all that much better for trans people twenty to forty years from now. But we will be more visible; that's pretty much a given.

[Cindy]

Out of interest the Australian Government passed a law last year after consultation with the Aged care industry that homosexual and transgender people are to be given full care and treatment according to their sexual and gender identity and that any discrimination is illegal. All of the big companies have now hired advisers to guide their staff in understanding what that means and what the requirements are.

I gave a talk to one Aged care facility on what a transgender person is and how we should be treated. It went down incredibly well with the staff, they had questions and were obviously keen to help their future clients. Not a single staff member was negative, in fact just the opposite.

My wife is a client at that home (due to disability) and I have transitioned in front of them, they have been awesome in their acceptance.

[FTMDiaries]

I'm also 42, and this is something that's been on my mind somewhat over the past few years.

Whilst we're lucky in the UK to have laws prohibiting discrimination against individuals on the basis of sexuality or gender identity, it's a sad fact that there are no retirement homes in the UK that cater specifically to LGBT people. So LGBT people going into homes today are just chucked in with the general population - which in itself shouldn't be an issue, but it does mean that the staff may not be sensitive to our needs.

As others have said, things may improve. By the time you & I are ready to retire, another 25 or so years will have passed, and it may be 30 or more years before we'll need a retirement home, if all goes well. Who knows how society may have evolved by then, with three decades of equality legislation under its belt?

As for T, most of the 22 patients at my GP's surgery who get Nebido injections are elderly; only a handful of us are under retirement age. Again, this is another area that may be subject to improvements over the next 30 years so there will probably be better T treatments by that time anyway. Just look at how things have improved over the last 30 years!

Bottom line: I wouldn't worry about it. I'm just going to suck it & see. And then in 30 years' time I'll probably retire to a gay-friendly, trans-friendly retirement home in Brighton, because they're bound to exist by then. 

[Al James]

Brighton eh? I was thinking of Blackpool cos my partners family are mostly in Liverpool.

[FTMDiaries]

Brighton eh? I was thinking of Blackpool cos my partners family are mostly in Liverpool.

Well, either way, we'll get a nice view from a pier. But for me, I'll have the added benefit of being able to visit Choccywoccydoodah!