First session with therapist tomorrow morning. Scared.

[Sincerely Tegan]

 
I have my first appointment with a therapist tomorrow (10 am Pacific). They're a general therapist, through Kaiser. I think they called it an evaluation. I've had a therapist before, but I've never opened up about tg issues with one, and I'm pretty nervous. Words of encouragement? Advice?

-Tegan

[stephaniec]

If it's a therapist you can trust just open up

[Jill F]

Be 100% honest with yourself and the therapist, otherwise it's a waste of both of your time.

If your therapist doesn't have experience with transgender issues or is not up to date on how to treat a transgender patient, you might need to find another one.  A bad therapist is worse than no therapist, IMHO.

[Jessica Merriman]

Be 100% honest with yourself and the therapist, otherwise it's a waste of both of your time.

If your therapist doesn't have experience with transgender issues or is not up to date on how to treat a transgender patient, you might need to find another one.  A bad therapist is worse than no therapist, IMHO.

Jill nailed it sweetie! You are wise for finding one as they are invaluable to your success.

[Eva Marie]

What Jill said. Open up and be honest, there is nothing to feel bad about. The therapist can't help you if you aren't brutally honest, and they have heard worse stuff than what you are going to say tomorrow.

Jill's advice about the therapist being up to speed on transgender issues is spot on too. Too many general therapists try their hand at dealing with trans issues and leave wreckage behind them. A good gender therapist is worth their weight in gold.

[Valfreyja]

I hope it goes well on your 1st appointment tomorrow. I can understand you may feel worried as I just took the 1st step in getting in touch with a therapist myself today and I'm starting to wonder what it's gonna be like... I've never had therapy before so... big question mark. Like everyone says, I guess being honest to ourselves is the only way to go about it!
Cheers!

Chloe

[LivingTheDream]

I think it helps going into it with the mindset, "they're here to help me and everything that is said is private and kept between us." That's what I went in with at least. Idk I think I'm weird, but I never had any problems at all going into the meetings and talking about any and everything, and that is totally the opposite of how I always am; I keep everything personal to myself. I had more difficultly making the call and the appointment than I did with the first few meetings.....That's way more scarier to me at least and you've already cleared that hurdle!

The first meeting will prolly just be about getting to know each other a bit and getting some background, why you're there, problems you're having, what your hoping to achieve by going, growing up history etc, prolly nothing too in depth; that doesn't sound too scary right?!?!

But ya, as others have said, just be as honest as you can be, it can't do you any good to lie about things there. I know I never lied to mine but there were a few "big" things I "forgot"  to mention , well not really but wasn't comfortable mentioning it at the time, and hey, it's easy to get distracted and 45-60 minutes goes by really fast sometimes...!!!! If there's something you're uncomfortable talking about or something comes up that is scary or something, ask to put it off, talk about it later, until you feel ready to talk about it, until it "feels like the right time".

If, after a few meetings, you don't like this one or don't connect or don't think they can help, then don't give up, look for another, one who's better for you, because unless you're in the middle of nowhere, there's prolly a bunch nearby to choose from who could potentially help or be better.

But ya, I definitely love going, feels good to be free and be able to talk about stuff. Hope you have a good appt. and everything works out ok for you. Let us know tomorrow, k!

[Sephirah]

It's okay to be nervous, hon.

To add to what the others have said, my advice is to not think of them as "The Therapist". That will likely have all sorts of associations going through your mind. Think of them instead as just someone you're going to have a chat with about how you feel, and who might be able to suggest a few options about what you can do. That might lessen the tension somewhat.

*encouraging hug* I'm sure everything will go just fine, sweetie.

[Katherine]

It's normal to be nervous hon.  I was too.  My session went very well and I was very relieved and satisfied when it was over.  I cried a few times too, I just let myself go and opened up.  It felt good and I know I needed it.  Let us know how it went for you.  I think you'll enjoy your sessions, just be open and honest.

[Cassie 4 Ever!!!]

Just be honest, and you will be fine!

[Sincerely Tegan]

Thank you, everyone.

I just feel so overwhelmed. When I was a teen, I wanted a therapist to help me understand why I felt so depressed and hopeless. But I was afraid they might hypnotize me or something and my secret would slip. I never at the time recognized that there might be a connection between those two thoughts. And honestly, I'm still unsure of myself.

I feel so conflicted.

Tomorrow I don't think it will be with the doctor who'd be seeing me, but rather it's an evaluation by a general therapist to determine who I should see.

A huge part of me wants to cancel, but I know I can't. My nerves are raw.

I'm trying to schedule a massage after my appointment. I think I'm going to need it.

Good night.

-Tegan

[BeingSonia]

I had my first appointment a week and a half ago. I was really nervous too. I sat down and directly said I was a woman and that I wanted to do something about it. I was relieved once I left. Happy that I had finally done something. Now it depends what you to do. Only you decide what you want to do. The therapist should help with your decision. It might take time.

[Veronica M]

The best thing in the world is your therapist as long as your totally honest with him/her. I have my forth session coming up this Thursday and now I can't wait to get in there and discuss my feeling with her. I have to admit the first one was scary to say the least. But like Jessica has said to me and others here, "Once the Jeanie is out of the bottle it is hard to put her back" I went in, sat down and we got the introductions out of the way, and I just put all the cards right on the table. She (The Therapist) was extremely accepting of my thoughts and fears. As a professional she asked quite a few questions such as my background, sexual preference and what not. All while being very kind and open in the process. I have to admit after our session I was on cloud nine and felt very relieved and relaxed. 

One note here, the person I am seeing specializes in gender disorders. (Don't like that terminology but oh well.) I think that is a very important part of your therapy. I guess the best way to put it is if you own a German car, you wouldn't want someone who just works on Honda's working on you car...

Never the less, therapy is a big part of your transition and it will help you find the true you in the process. Keep an open mind and be totally honest with yourself and your therapist. Yourself especially. I think after the first one is over and if it goes well, you will learn to appreciate every moment spent in therapy.

[Sincerely Tegan]

11:30 am Pacific time, one hour post-appointment

I can't seem to stop crying. I'm sitting here at the bowling alley, nursing a beer. I was trying to kill time until my massage, but I only got one frame in before I pulled a muscle (go figure). Good thing I have a massage in a couple hours.

I went to therapy. As I thought, it was a 30-minute evaluation to get me in with a regular therapist. The woman I saw, though, was very nice. I was honest, though I freely admit it didn't come easy. I sat there for a long time like a deer in the headlights. Eventually I spat out that I have gender questions. It came a little easier after that, as she now had a direction to take the questioning.

I read her my first post from here, and that seemed to explain enough. She was nearly in tears as I read it.

Of course, so was I. Waterworks. Niagara Falls. I'm so far out of my depth here; I'm just tumbling down the rabbit hole.

I was honest on all counts and I now have an appointment set for my Spring break in April.

I know I'm doing the right thing. I just feel so raw. I once saw this horrible video online about the illegal skin trade. In it, you see a fox being skinned alive (apparently the skin comes off easier this way- monstrous). The fox was standing there, skinless, pain and fear it's only reality. That's how I feel right now.

I have problems with shame. Major, crippling problems. There is such a heaviness in my chest right now.

I'm going to be okay. I know that. I have no desire to hurt myself or anything like that. But right now I just feel so raw.

It's hard.

I'm really glad that I have a massage in a while. I also scheduled a facial (never had one), because honestly eff it.

Thank you, everyone, for the moral support. I really do appreciate it.

-Tegan

[Veronica M]

First off congratulations on your first step... believe me that is one of the toughest. And it's also very okay to cry. Tears are water on the whetstone of life. That said you shouldn't be ashamed of who you really are. I also am just starting this transition, and I have a lot of the same feeling you are having. I tell myself it's going to get better and I know that doesn't work all the time. But you have to be happy with yourself first and foremost. So look at the positive things that happened today. You took a major step forward and you should be very proud of yourself.

Hugs
Veronica

[fusstangtroy]

11:30 am Pacific time, one hour post-appointment

I can't seem to stop crying. I'm sitting here at the bowling alley, nursing a beer. I was trying to kill time until my massage, but I only got one frame in before I pulled a muscle (go figure). Good thing I have a massage in a couple hours.

I went to therapy. As I thought, it was a 30-minute evaluation to get me in with a regular therapist. The woman I saw, though, was very nice. I was honest, though I freely admit it didn't come easy. I sat there for a long time like a deer in the headlights. Eventually I spat out that I have gender questions. It came a little easier after that, as she now had a direction to take the questioning.

I read her my first post from here, and that seemed to explain enough. She was nearly in tears as I read it.

Of course, so was I. Waterworks. Niagara Falls. I'm so far out of my depth here; I'm just tumbling down the rabbit hole.

I was honest on all counts and I now have an appointment set for my Spring break in April.

I know I'm doing the right thing. I just feel so raw. I once saw this horrible video online about the illegal skin trade. In it, you see a fox being skinned alive (apparently the skin comes off easier this way- monstrous). The fox was standing there, skinless, pain and fear it's only reality. That's how I feel right now.

I have problems with shame. Major, crippling problems. There is such a heaviness in my chest right now.

I'm going to be okay. I know that. I have no desire to hurt myself or anything like that. But right now I just feel so raw.

It's hard.

I'm really glad that I have a massage in a while. I also scheduled a facial (never had one), because honestly eff it.

Thank you, everyone, for the moral support. I really do appreciate it.

-Tegan

Just take big breath and relaxes ... your on right path so dont over think things .If you have closes friend thats good listener talk to them and this should help ... look at the positives for you to move forward with your doctors. transgender or not just finding healthy  mental outlook will make life much better . aka sara