Hello, I'm KayT,
I have joined here to hopefully arrive at a decision or even better understanding leading to a decision as I am a most indecisive person but transgender is in mind and always has been but I slammed it out of my mind because of what I was supposed to be and why me as these feelings come to others don't they, it's one of those things one hears about but it doesn't really happen and what would my family and friends think and all that.
Well as of three years ago I discovered what I was to perhaps shine some light on all those feelings I had oppressed within myself through fear for what I discovered was that all my life I had in fact been an xxy and I am not going to say male, because I don't feel I am male where I adhere myself to the term intersexed as that feels more comfortable and descriptive of both the external and the internal combined for what is inside doesn't match the outside where I am even finding I am despising the male in me and body parts they often disgust me where I wonder what's the use beyond urinating standing up as they have not been used for their primary purpose for nine years, once a month at best for ten years and not at all before that for 27 years.
And so the subject of transgender has reared it's head again and I am here to try and sort out my thoughts and feelings and perhaps even make a decision as I am fed up living a life unfulfilled and in permanent limbo where I just don't physically fit in to my compulsions inviting all sorts of negativity from others and even myself.
Yeah, xxy so typically low testosterone but not the typical physique where I am tall, skinny and underdeveloped and I never had gynocomastia but I have already had a chest lump scare that turned out to be as I was told a blocked and infected milk duct which hastened my doctor to seek a karyotype test to reveal my truth. Where after testing it has been found I don't need HRT, I am a most untypical xxy but where most are happy and want to be male, it seems I am questioning to the point that I am unhappy being male and if had had a choice at birth it wouldn't have been male.
I guess part of my mind is already there on this but I need all of my mind there hence coming here before I manage to get at the psychological to satisfy the cash strapped medical gods.
