long forgotten family members

[jonjon]

Excuse me while I abuse this section to think aloud where the walls are listening.

How are you meant to feel? When you reunite yourself with a family member you thought you would never see again? This happened to me 5 yrs ago and my head still can't grasp it. Since I was 11 (when I waved goodbye to dad for the last time) it haunted me that I made the wrong decision. Fast forward to when I was 22/23 and out of a curious search on fb found my dad's side of the family... Plus my dad. But since my dad has showed very little interest since my reappearance in his life, it's allowed me to get to know my half bro's/sis and step bro's/sis, make contact with some cousins and also get to know his (now) ex wife again.

But my initial intention was to actually get to know my dad. How awkward do I feel now when the passing chance of saying hi... Becomes just that. 'hi dad!'. Yeah, I don't really know who you are, this is too awkward, im'a go now....

:/

Oh le sigh.

[Christinetobe]

All I can say is I am estranged from my entire family, 3 sisters and 2 brothers.  It is very difficult at times and I sometimes wish it wasn't so.  Everybody's family dynamics are different and so are people reactions to the choices we all have to make.  Mine was about self preservation and the protection of my kids.  There Is a long history of sexual abuse in my family.  Even though I know it was best to leave it is still the hardest thing in the world.  I don't know how you can improve your relationship with your dad but really it is up to him if you just let him know you are available.  In time perhaps he will reach out to you.  I wish you luck and hope you at least get the answers to any questions you may have.