Unhappiness in Life, could it be accelerating my GID?

[Alyssa L.]

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[suzifrommd]

Am I just looking at this as an easy way out? Is it possible that dressing (which was enough before) could be enough again if I address the unhappiness in my life? Has anyone gone this route in the past only to find out that it only helped for a little while?

I had a very patronizing psychologist tell me the very same thing - that the only reason why I wanted to transition was because my marriage was in trouble.

Surprising that someone like him, so supposedly well informed, would get it so horribly wrong.

I needed to transition because I'm wired to be transgender.

Gender wiring is unaffected by marital unhappiness, or pretty much anything. Once you're wired to be transgender, you're pretty much stuck that way.

Sure, unhappiness can bring you to do soul-searching that you wouldn't do otherwise, but you're just learning more about yourself.

Transition turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. I can be me in ways I never dreamed. True, my marriage flamed out, but the trade-off is still strongly in the positive.

[Alyssa L.]

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[Veronica M]

Thanks for the info Suzi.

I know I am transgendered and I 100% accept that if a part of who I am. The question is more about my overwhelming desire to be more woman than man these days.

Alyssa

To quote Jessica M, "Once the Jeanie is out of the bottle it is hard to put her back." I find that to be extremely true. While my journey is just beginning, I find it harder each day to be in boy mode, and find it completely overwhelming to say the least.  If you know who you are then let her out...

[FalseHybridPrincess]

I had a very patronizing psychologist tell me the very same thing - that the only reason why I wanted to transition was because my marriage was in trouble.

Surprising that someone like him, so supposedly well informed, would get it so horribly wrong.

I needed to transition because I'm wired to be transgender.

Gender wiring is unaffected by marital unhappiness, or pretty much anything. Once you're wired to be transgender, you're pretty much stuck that way.

Sure, unhappiness can bring you to do soul-searching that you wouldn't do otherwise, but you're just learning more about yourself.

Transition turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. I can be me in ways I never dreamed. True, my marriage flamed out, but the trade-off is still strongly in the positive.

well said ,,,,

[ErinM]

What I'm about to say will mirror Suzi a lot.

For me the unhappiness in my life certainly played a role in my desire for me to transition.

I found in the course of a few months severs things caused me to reevaluate why I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. As I was doing this the realization hit me like a bomb. I came to understand that I was miserable because it was in the wrong body and therefore the wrong life.

As you already know, fighting the truth slowly eroded my ability to cope, costing me my job.

For me it was a part of a feedback loop. The more stress I had from life, the worse the GD got, or more specifically my ability to resist it weakened. This in turn would interfere with my ability to function in my day to day life and would create more stress.

One piece of advice that I took when going into transition is that it will not solve all if life's problems and will likely create new problems. The flip side being that assuming it is right for you, you'll be in a better position to manage the remaining problems.

[JoanneB]

After a major disaster in my unhappy life a few years ago I knew I needed to take the trans beast head on. Meaning any other way but transitioning since I ran that experiment, twice, in my 20's. Yet over the course of a couple of years of hard self-work, a long distance falling apart marriage, and a job I hated, transitioning to full-time  became a very big reality after my seeming success at part time.

Then prayers were answered,  I had a wife who saw many positive changes in me as a person. I got an offer for a dream job, one that was probably the best I ever had, from my old boss. I got to move back home to my wife. I also got to be a lot closer than a 3 hour drive to the next level of TG support as I live just 5 miles from mid-town New York City.

An unseen benefit of the past 6 years of self help and some help from others is now I am not unhappy with my life. Not he one I have now. I even see and genuinely embrace all the successes and accomplishments I feel I earned in the past. They were mine, and deserved. Not part of the scam I lived as part of my life of a lie.

The unseen problem(?) now is a decision to transition is tons harder to make. I know I can. I have all the foundations I need. I know I can succeed since I did achieve my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman, out there in the real world. A very real world of rural West Virginia!

My TG support group members often remind me, as well as my therapist that life is good, NOW. Stop focusing on the future. Live in the moment. Not an easy thing for me. I guess there are still lessons I need to learn