do you have an opinion of transgender day of visability

[stephaniec]

I was just surfing the web and found out about transgender day of visibility. I think its a great idea. Helping the world get over the stigma of being transgender. The model Geena Rocero  has founded Gender Proud  an organization for a world where transgender individuals are able to self identify with the fewest possible barriers. Yhe movement is at least trying to bring down the barriers and I'm all for it.

[suzifrommd]

Given that I keep my ear to the ground on Trans issues and I hadn't heard of TDoV until after it happened, it can't have been very visible.

That's a shame, because we really do need more visibility, other than the inaccurate depictions and stories posted by the media. It would really help passing laws if people understood our bathroom issues, medical issues, documentation issues, etc.

[nikkit72]

The trouble is with any form of activism, you are going to have people hitting back. Bringing down barriers is definitely a good thing, but unfortunately, with some issues, particularly trans, the people that consider themselves normal just build the barrier higher. Most people do not want to hear about our medical, bathroom or documentation issues since as soon as they hear that 'so and so used to be a man' or 'used to be a woman', their first thought is either of disgust or intolerance. Story ends and they do not want to know the rest.

Yes we exist and we should be proud of that fact, but I am all for 'bleeding' into society gently so to speak and, as has been discussed before on Susans, prejudice against us will probably be lost with each successive generation. Job done, minimum casualties.

Smashing down barriers will only incur the wrath of those not educated about trans issues(through choice or otherwise) and such people are the ones currently making the decisions. It will not matter how much we shout, they will just get bigger ear defenders.

I think things are ticking along nicely at the moment with progress being made slowly, but surely. Personally I do not want a day to remind myself that the vast majority of the population finds me different for reasons other than the colour of my hair or that I drive a silver car. Neither do I want to celebrate a day where others perceive a minority wanting to live out a fetish.

[Beverly]

I have gone to a great deal of trouble to "blend in" to society. Why would I want to throw away all that hard work?

Some people know me from before my transition and even amongst them, many have forgotten what I was like then because they have become so used to how I am now. Many others have never known me other than as the woman I am.

I have always wanted nothing more than to be treated as an ordinary woman. I have worked hard on my voice, mannerisms and appearance and people are either incredibly accepting of me or do not realise what my past was. I have a life which is better than it has ever been before - why should I jeprodise that by "outing" myself to many people?

So, in short, I will not be joining in any "visibility days". Howver, to those that wish to do it then good luck to them and I hope they get something back from doing so.

[suzifrommd]

Most people do not want to hear about our medical, bathroom or documentation issues

Don't you think this is a bit of a generalization? Haven't you come across people who want to learn what people go through who are different from they are? I certainly know a lot of people like that.

[Beverly]

Don't you think this is a bit of a generalization?

I think it is a fair comment myself. Many people do not like to think too deeply about such things..... however....

Haven't you come across people who want to learn what people go through who are different from they are? I certainly know a lot of people like that.

... there are also people who want to know too much. "Have you had the 'op'?" or "Are you having your dick cut-off?" are two of the more intrusive questions I have been asked. Some people think we are entitled to no privacy or that we can be asked any question no matter how rude. I have also been told that I am "...still a man..." and I have had a woman I was introduced to squeeze my breasts hard to see if they were real.

[kathyk]

TDoV is almost a worthwhile idea, although questionable as to it's goals.  And besides the big meeting in SF, I'm sure that there were some sorts of planned activities in LA, Sacramento, NY, Chicago, Seattle, and maybe Portland.  But it's really pretty useless in 95% of the US where a very large percent of us live, and try not to draw attention. 

I had planned to attend a function in San Francisco, but ended up doing some home repair in a rainstorm.  Although I guess it's best because it would have meant driving into the City or taking BART during commute hours.  Yes, these are excuses for not going, and maybe I should pay more attention to my life.  Rather than focusing on the things I do to improve my ex wife's home, or in finding ways to avoid my fear of stress.

[nikkit72]

Don't you think this is a bit of a generalization? Haven't you come across people who want to learn what people go through who are different from they are? I certainly know a lot of people like that.

It is not a generalisation, which is why I said " most people" and not "all people".  Unfortunately, even some the ones that do want to hear about such problems or differences only want to do so for the wrong reasons. Take the press for example.

Personally, I would rather people mind their own business because they do not care about mine. Well, most of them do not......

[Sydney_NYC]

On that day I was at a transportation conference exhibiting our software to trucking and transportation companie. I have been passing 100% and was surrounded by a whole bunch of golf playing republicans. My wife and I were both there (we have different last names) acting as business partners and not as a lesbian couple. (Only one of our customers that was there knew about me being trans.)

Anyway I felt a little guilty not being visible as a transgender person, but only have going full time a few weeks ago, I was super excited that driving from NJ to FL and being on the trip I passed 100% (as for as my wife and I could tell.) Lots of women's public restroom on the trip and the only looks/comments I get is the fact that I'm 6'7". My voice is gender neutral, but me being so tall gives some fudge room there. Talking so much during the exhibition (and catching a cold) I lost my voice on the last day. Everyone there felt bad for me and joked about how my husband will probably appreciate the quiet time. Overall, it has been a good trip.

[Missy~rmdlm]

I really don't want to be visible. The "visibility" thing is at best a tenuous connection to achieving equality.
My everyday actions are a much greater reflection of trans people than any organized event. I do support pride day, TDOR is a lot more iffy with the outing of people.
I'm not to keen on if I meet an untimely fate in five years being outed. I have stated right on here I'll be dropping off the trans radar at some point in the future. Going post op then moving to a new region is a big part of that.

[ErinM]

For me it was unintentional coincidence. It the first time I went out wearing obviously female clothing and I wasn't passing at all and felt a little discouraged.

When I heard about it being Transgender Day of Visibility, later that day on the news I couldn't help laugh at myself for how appropriate it all seemed.

[Miranda Catherine]

I have gone to a great deal of trouble to "blend in" to society. Why would I want to throw away all that hard work?

Some people know me from before my transition and even amongst them, many have forgotten what I was like then because they have become so used to how I am now. Many others have never known me other than as the woman I am.

I have always wanted nothing more than to be treated as an ordinary woman. I have worked hard on my voice, mannerisms and appearance and people are either incredibly accepting of me or do not realise what my past was. I have a life which is better than it has ever been before - why should I jeprodise that by "outing" myself to many people?

So, in short, I will not be joining in any "visibility days". Howver, to those that wish to do it then good luck to them and I hope they get something back from doing so.

I've passed since early on, day one, basically, to those who didn't know me, but I transitioned in the town I'd lived for the last fifteen years, and I couldn't help but do it in front of some of them. At first I think a few of them thought I was joking or something, but they were very nice. After seeing me as a woman for a few months I was a non-issue and after a year I doubt if any of them could picture me in their minds as a male. Now, more than 2 1/2 years into my life as a woman, most of those still around since I first transitioned MAY still remember I was born male, but none of them think of me as anything other than Mira, a woman. I look, act, talk, sound, walk and think nothing like I did as a male impersonator, and not all of it, in fact, little of it came without work. I've worked hard to get to where I not only pass without worry, but happily and comfortably. So why would I put a sign on my forehead or taped across my back saying "Transsexual", for the inquisitive, 'I'm transgender, ask me a question', or for the right wing haters, "Kick Me, I'm Transgender!" I've said it before, all I ever wanted to do was be a girl, so why on earth would I want to reverse everything I've worked for?

[antonia]

I think this is a great idea but I think it will suffer from the same issue as most trans awareness programs and groups, namely once people have transitioned most slowly fade away as they engage in every day life as their new gender.

What really would be great is if for one day we could get all those girls/boys out to show the world and even more importantly show young trans people that we can be beautiful, courageous, fun and intelligent.

I think this is why crossdressing groups have more members and active communities, their members tend to stay in the groups and continue to be active for years. Meanwhile trans people start passing after a while and then get afraid to get clocked if they are going out with crossdressers or other transgendered girls/boys.

As for motivations for getting everyone out I think the first step needs to be pride.

I'm a transwoman and I'm proud because I had to overcome large obstacles and it took courage to get to where I'm at.

How we can instil that sense of pride in every trans person out there?

[JennX]

I'd prefer a "transgender day of invisability".

I never wanted to be trans... just female. Every other trans person I've met has felt the same way.

IMHO/IMHE/YMMV.

If people want to be educated on trans issues... google works great and you can always read a book. I've worked to hard to sacrifice everything I have in order to educate many who don't want to learn.

[Joanna Dark]

Uh, try not to pass? Since passing = invisibility. See this is  the the thing I loathe about identity politics. That people who are fortunate (or have a lot of money. Either one works) have to play advocate for those not so fortunate and be visible. But, for being trans, which is the worst thing I can pretty much think of being, its now almost canon that you have to say or think all this various things and the worst thing you can do is be "->-bleeped-<-r than thou..," which i get accused of all the time just for talking about my situation. But its all in the head so ya cant ever really prove or disprove anything, unless you be unlucky enough to be intersex, which is worse than being trans...IMO, but again, talk about it and get berated.

So how do i feel about outing myself? Well, I hate it. I can't even tell the doctor, which brings up all sorts of problems later cuz those problems happened later lol

[JessieWolf]

She was in TED Talks and made a speech about it.

It was good, but for such an issue in today's world there are still way too many dislikes and hateful ignorant comments about the whole trans thing. And there are people who can even keep calling her a "he" and hate her even though see passes perfectly. I guess the way she revealed herself really made certain people who liked her go crazy hateful because they were tricked and because of the other obvious close minded, ignorant beliefs they have.
Even in the audience you can see quite a few people with negative faces or some people who completely ignore her while talking to each other or checking their tablet.
The comments are so horrible and the dislikes are so many and we are JUST talking about the internet, who is somewhat more open minded than the real world, I just dont want to imagine how the rest of the world feels about that.
And after all that you expect people to go public? I really start hating myself for possibly being mtf trans, why couldnt i just remain a generic overly gay guy that doesnt need to deal with all that BS and the painful process of transitioning...