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LOST IN LIFE

Started by Leki, July 19, 2015, 03:41:14 AM

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Leki

Help, I dunno who or what I am.

I'm completely lost in life, I have moved back in with my parents and I am not working.

Lost. Confused. Needing Help!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Ms Grace

Hi - you're asking some fairly fundamental questions here. I totally understand the feeling of being lost and not knowing who you are - I was there once and it is not a pleasant experience at all...bewildering, overwhelming and extremely challenging. It's pretty much something everyone goes through at one point or another, it's part of growing up, and it is rougher on some than on others. The good news is that you don't have to figure out everything at once. Take a deep breath, then exhale. Do that a few times and calm down a bit, then try to get a bit of an overview. Where would you rather be? What would you like to do? What would you need to do to get there? Do you need to study? Do you need a part time job? Do you need to see a therapist? Working out who we are isn't quick. For many people it takes years to get where they want to be, so don't expect that it will all happen overnight...sadly we often just need to take the time, but with the right focus and motivation you can get there. Then you start to work other things out. :)
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Tamika Olivia

We've all been there! It can be scary to find yourself lost, but there are somethings you can do to chart your way to where you want to be. Figuring this stuff out is like trying to eat an elephant. Big, scary, and daunting... but you just have to find a place to bite and chow down. I'm a list girl, so I'd recommend starting with one of those. It's a good way to conceptualize your confusion and start breaking it down.

The way I see it, there are four general things that go into a life plan: skills, resources, interests, and goals. Skills are the things that you are good at, that you can offer to the world. This could include education, experience, training, certifications and the like. Resources are things and people that are available to you to help you get what you want. References, contacts, saved money, transport, shelter, and the like. Interests are the activities that are going to help motivate you in your search, and decide what it is you want to do with your life. Hobbies, career areas, professions, relationships, and so forth. Finally, you have goals. These are the things you want and hope to get out of getting your life on track. Do you want a car, a spouse, to transition, or to have a home? All goals.

Once you have an honest, exhaustive, and well considered list of skills, resources, interests, and goals; it's time to see how they start interacting. How can you leverage your skills and resources to reach your goals or appeal to your interests? Can you sacrifice some of your interests for your goals? Will some of your resources be depleted by pursing your goals or interests? How do you prioritize your goals? Answering these questions can give you a much clearer plan for your life.

None of these lists will ever be immutable. You can always expand your skill set or resource pool by seeking out education, new contacts, new training, and the like. Your interests will change and grow over time, and everyone needs new goals as they grow. Maybe a new skill set will lead to new interests? Maybe one of your goals will change, and that will open up a new pool of resources?

Knowing yourself in this way won't solve all your problems. It's a rough world, and sometimes you can't leverage your skills properly or pursue your interests in the way you envision. You can't predict everything, but you can gain a lot of power by knowing who you are and what you want out of life. I may not like most of what the Boy Scouts stand for, but I can get behind their "always be prepared" motto.

Hugs,

Tamika
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Leki

Thanks everyone, the advice in this thread is great!

I've been feeling a bit down but today I shaved my facial hair, put on some nice music and used some of my mum's lip gloss and mascara and now I am feeling a bit happier :)

I am thinking of applying for medical school but I am kinda torn between that and clinical psychology. I have plenty of time to figure it out though. I am happy where I am living right now.

And the list idea is good, I will put that into practice and I like your section breakdown!
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