2 years after FFS and I still look like a man.

[sysm29]

On March 29, 2012, I had FFS with Dr. Spiegel.  I chose him over Dr. Z and Dr. O.  This is not going to be a hit piece against Dr. Spiegel.

I wasn't a male model before FFS.  I wasn't good-looking as a guy at all.  Plus I had a very masculine face. 

When I put on a long haired wig, I look like a Native American man.

So Dr. Spiegel did what he thought was best and he tried his best.  I'm not blaming him for anything.... but the claim that these surgeons make that you will pass after FFS is just not true for everyone.  Plastic surgery is no miracle.

The surgery I had was so psychologically traumatizing that I gave up hope of ever passing and tried to end my life numerous times.  I was in and out of four different psych wards in four different hospitals and now I live at a psychiatric group home.

2013 was a year of recovery from deep suicidal depression to a will to live again.  This is what happened in 2011 after my first unsuccessful transition attempt in 2010.

So here I am in 2014, another even year, and I still wonder if I could do it one day.  I have no idea if I can even try.

[Dahlia]

Are you the same person who deeply regretted having had FFS and wanted your old face back because you didn't want to be a woman after all?

[Evolving Beauty]

Go and do a revision with Chettawut, he always know how to fix blunders western surgeons do...

[Nicolette]

Sorry, but if you're not on HRT then this really is not surprising.

[Cindy]

WARNING

I'm looking at this thread for inappropriate posts

Cindy

[noeleena]

Hi.

What you have to remember is surgery is not for every one and can not make one look like a female when they are very much a masculine looking male, so for some of us its a surgery we wont ever do regardless of what some one may think other wise,

We have some very good surgeons i know one who is more than able to do fantastic surgery yet he would be saying the same thing not all of us will  come out being 100 % changed,

  the bone structure is the issue and how much , take to much away you weaken the face,

if of cause you are younger and have finer features then yes i know a friend of mine there was a total change she was younger and body shape more in keeping with a female frame .

myself body shape and size weight is in proportion as a normal woman just not with the finer features as for my face my photo shows what i look like, .

i dont look feminine that does not say im not a female  = intersexed . i accepted what i looked like from age 10. i  wont say i like  how i look , this is really only a small part of who we are, so myself i show other aspects of who i am and ill tell you what im very well recived and accepted as a normal woman  so its more about who we are than how we look.

Again ill say the same thing for meds drugs or hormone replacement they do not all work in the same way for every one,   as an intersexed female my own hormones have done more for myself than any meds could ever do  remember age bone structure and weight shape,

As for my body with meds i dont accept them my body will not use them and rejects them.  so wether im on or not will make very little difference, they are to maintain my body and thats all , iv been around drugs meds and so on for 40 odd years, and i know my own body well enough as to how they work or not  remember they are synthic and our bodys dont all ways,   can convert them ,

...noeleena...

[missy1992]

I remember your one post from way back when stating how you regretted the surgery.
Good luck with life babe. Ill pray for you

[till]

Long time lurker first time poster.

I wanted to say thank you for the update, sysm29.

The initial threads you posted in 2012 were something that I have read numerous times. They were very articulate and really conveyed the importance of taking time in making a decision. Hope you are doing OK. It's good to see that you are still around. It sounds like the last 2 years have been rough for you. 

[crowcrow223]

Have you looked into canthoplasty? it's very feminising

[calicarly]

Few things to consider, as you have been told in the past by many other girls, you will not resemble a woman unless you have taken HRT continuously everyday for at least 2 years, do female grooming, eyebrow shaping, laser on your facial and body hair, letting your hair grow, wearing female clothes,makeup, etc. To be honest with you I can not believe how it is that you went in to get FFS thinking you would come out female without anything else added to it.

You should finish treatment for whatever psychiatric issues are ongoing and once you are cleared of them, if you truly want to transition, go to a gender identity specialist who will advise you of the steps required, typical female grooming and image advisors are a MUST for you , then voice coaching, etc, having in mind that HRT for at least 2 years before you see sizeable results can NOT be skipped for a successful transition.

Please please , just take care of yourself first girl, once you're out of the dark with mental issues then ALWAYS have in mind the transition process will be a lengthy one no matter where you start (if it is for you). You can't be lazy in your approach.

Thanks for letting us know how you are, I for one wish you a successful recovery and all the best for your future. Hugs from a girl who cares.

[JenJen2011]

I feel the same way. I'm 2 yrs post op from having ffs with Dr. Z.

[shedevilcanada]

I feel the same way. I'm 2 yrs post op from having ffs with Dr. Z.

JenJen you are stunning, I think Dr Z did a fantastic job from what I see from your avatar pic

[shedevilcanada]

On March 29, 2012, I had FFS with Dr. Spiegel.  I chose him over Dr. Z and Dr. O.  This is not going to be a hit piece against Dr. Spiegel.

I wasn't a male model before FFS.  I wasn't good-looking as a guy at all.  Plus I had a very masculine face. 

When I put on a long haired wig, I look like a Native American man.

So Dr. Spiegel did what he thought was best and he tried his best.  I'm not blaming him for anything.... but the claim that these surgeons make that you will pass after FFS is just not true for everyone.  Plastic surgery is no miracle.

The surgery I had was so psychologically traumatizing that I gave up hope of ever passing and tried to end my life numerous times.  I was in and out of four different psych wards in four different hospitals and now I live at a psychiatric group home.

2013 was a year of recovery from deep suicidal depression to a will to live again.  This is what happened in 2011 after my first unsuccessful transition attempt in 2010.

So here I am in 2014, another even year, and I still wonder if I could do it one day.  I have no idea if I can even try.

Sys, I hope you will be fine. You are not alone, I feel the same way as you even after full FFS. Don't get discourage and look forward and make sure you achieve your goal.

If you need us we are here.

[Melissa_fox]

I agree abount needing hormones to really see the full effect.

I also think that we have to all deal with our genetic limitations.  If a girl has a somewhat andogynous face to start with then she will turn out with great results but...

On the opposite side of the scale...  If someone that starts out with a very large hyper masculine bone structure, they just aren't going to achieve the results they dream about.

This doesn't mean they can't appear much more feminine after FFS, I just think we all have to be realistic.

The same things goes for what we can realistically achieve body wise.

With all this said... I think any girl could achieve amazing changes if they start HRT in their teens.

[Melissa_fox]

I feel the same way. I'm 2 yrs post op from having ffs with Dr. Z.

JenJen you look great in your avatar pic. No trace of maleness.

[calicarly]

I think there is another factor that also needs to be taken into consideration. I was on the tube not too long ago and noticed a women who looked like she had a lot of work done. She looked female, but at the same token she looked really plastic, and it got me wondering if she was trans. I don't know, i just didn't like how she looked rather fake.

I know what u mean! Some of the girls who started with a very masculine bone structure and tried to overcompensate by tons of surgeries can look so plastic that they are almost as easily read as they probably were before, there is a lot to be said about having a realistic and somewhat natural approach! Many girls who start with strong features can have good results though, it's all about leaving some of her unique characteristics there band not turning her into the tiger lady. I often thing overfilled lips and cheeks with an overly tiny nose can have the tiger lady result... Some people like the plastic look I guess. I just don't know...I am too often with my hair up and in sweatpants to really consider that look lol

[Ataraxia]

Despite what some others have said, I think that with HRT, proper grooming, and FFS, anyone can pass. FFS in particular can make anyone pass, regardless of how masculine you looked before, to my knowledge. A few things to consider:

1. Have you completed HRT? HRT does things that FFS can't achieve. This includes muscular atrophy, fat redistribution (FFS can technically do this, but it's wicked expensive and it still doesn't work quite as well without a base of subcutaneous fat from HRT), and smoother skin.

2. Proper grooming and makeup is also important. It's not uncommon for even genetic women to look "unpassable" without makeup. Grooming complements it, with eyebrow plucking, shaving, and a proper hair style.

3. Some surgeons are just better at some things than others. Try to figure out what specific features you have that are unpassable, and perhaps find a surgeon who specializes in them.

[Sophiabutterfly09]

I get where your coming from I went to Dr. O and I am THRILLED with the results of my forehead and nose BUT I was unable to afford the jaw/chin with him as well. It hurts because I feel like i should have found a way, but sadly i didn't. I still see semblances of my male past (I have been on 4+ years of HRT). I cant take it sometimes, the dysphoria.

[katiej]

Go look at the websites showing celebrities without makeup.  Some of the supposedly most attractive women in the world are actually very ordinary.

It still amazes me how many trans women don't really understand the power of fashion and makeup.  Actually, I guess there are a lot of cis-women who don't either.  As Carly said, a big part of being attractive as a woman is having a hairstyle that works for you, makeup that's done well, and a good sense of style.  And all of that consistent with your age and the persona you're trying to portray.

[Melissa_fox]

I know what u mean! Some of the girls who started with a very masculine bone structure and tried to overcompensate by tons of surgeries can look so plastic that they are almost as easily read as they probably were before, there is a lot to be said about having a realistic and somewhat natural approach! Many girls who start with strong features can have good results though, it's all about leaving some of her unique characteristics there band not turning her into the tiger lady. I often thing overfilled lips and cheeks with an overly tiny nose can have the tiger lady result... Some people like the plastic look I guess. I just don't know...I am too often with my hair up and in sweatpants to really consider that look lol

Yes that is so true. I know several girls who are under 30 who had FFS and now look almost like Michael Jackson. One of the biggest errors is that the nose is made too small and then the cheeks are over done.  It also makes them look like 50 year old woman that had a bad facelift.