Prom season not being able to go

[Danielle Emmalee]

I don't really see this topic going anywhere. You're not going to do anything we suggest.

Bottom line is who cares what your mom thinks. live without regret (go to prom), or live with it (don't go to prom).

He did say it was only a rant, so it doesn't necessarily need to go anywhere.

[Bombadil]

It really does suck. And I get how it is to be stuck. I now have no contact with my family and that hurts but it is so much better. But I wasn't able to do that when I was your age. There would have been no way. All I can tell you is that things get better. I know that doesn't help now. I think it's good for you to rant, but I hope you can hold onto some hope too. My life is sooooo much better now. I actually went to prom in a dress. I hated it. But it's ok, that was the past and there have been so many more opportunities. So go ahead and vent but try to hold onto to some hope, ok?

[Bimmer Guy]

Yea I know I'm just tired of not being able to enjoy myself at all, and my mom is still going to have to meet her mom for us to be able to do anything outside of school which I want to be able to but everything is just to damn complicated

I get it.  That is why I am suggesting you get together as a group outside of school.  Like some of your buddies and some girls meeting at a movie or something.  It wouldn't be lying if you only mentioned the guys' names.  Plus, you don't have to tell her you like one of the girls.  Is there a hang out, like the mall or something, you guys go to in the evenings?  That is what I mean.  You must hang outside of school with your friends, somewhere.  Maybe she has female friends she can meet in the same spot.  Get your parents to drop you off/friends to pick you up?

Thanks what I mean.  Just trying to figure out a way for you to see her without you mom/her mom needing to know you guys like each other romantically.

[Brandon]

I get it.  That is why I am suggesting you get together as a group outside of school.  Like some of your buddies and some girls meeting at a movie or something.  It wouldn't be lying if you only mentioned the guys' names.  Plus, you don't have to tell her you like one of the girls.  Is there a hang out, like the mall or something, you guys go to in the evenings?  That is what I mean.  You must hang outside of school with your friends, somewhere.  Maybe she has female friends she can meet in the same spot.  Get your parents to drop you off/friends to pick you up?

Thanks what I mean.  Just trying to figure out a way for you to see her without you mom/her mom needing to know you guys like each other romantically.

No I get that but my mom is still gonna have to meet parents, My mom is very strict. I can't just hang out woth anyone outside of school guys or girls.

[Sir Real]

Man, it's a tough situation.  I don't really have any advice for you beyond what other people are suggesting are possible ideas. I do get where you're coming from though, at least a little.  I just ended up never going to prom personally, the idea of having to wear a dress was just beyond me (didn't know what trans was back then though). My parents are also highly religious and are not accepting of me at all.  Your mom sounds super strict.  I hope whatever you end up doing works out okay for you, man. 

[Brandon]

It really does suck. And I get how it is to be stuck. I now have no contact with my family and that hurts but it is so much better. But I wasn't able to do that when I was your age. There would have been no way. All I can tell you is that things get better. I know that doesn't help now. I think it's good for you to rant, but I hope you can hold onto some hope too. My life is sooooo much better now. I actually went to prom in a dress. I hated it. But it's ok, that was the past and there have been so many more opportunities. So go ahead and vent but try to hold onto to some hope, ok?

I get that yes, And I understand it will get better but, It doesn't stop me from being alittle upset.

[Brandon]

Man, it's a tough situation.  I don't really have any advice for you beyond what other people are suggesting are possible ideas. I do get where you're coming from though.  I just ended up never going to prom personally, the idea of having to wear a dress was just beyond me (didn't know what trans was back then though). Your mom sounds super strict.  I hope whatever you end up doing works out okay for you, man.

Thanks man.

[Bimmer Guy]

No I get that but my mom is still gonna have to meet parents, My mom is very strict. I can't just hang out woth anyone outside of school guys or girls.

Wow, things are strict for you.  Sounds like you don't get to hang outside of school with your friends then, huh? 

[Brandon]

Wow, things are strict for you.  Sounds like you don't get to hang outside of school with your friends then, huh?

I can but my mom has to meet everyones parents first, But it can be awkward with someone you like, I'm gonna have them meet though because I wanna take her to the movies and such.

[Frank]

Just out of curiosity, has it occurred to you to rebel even a little? At all? You know, like most kids do at some point in their lives? Not to start anything, but you do seem awful intent on playing by everyone else's rules.

[Brandon]

Just out of curiosity, has it occurred to you to rebel even a little? At all? You know, like most kids do at some point in their lives? Not to start anything, but you do seem awful intent on playing by everyone else's rules.

First of all man I try not to be disobediant second of all you don't know my mom she is very strict, And because my mom gives me alot more freedom I tend to not rebel you only rebel if you have no freedom. You guys don't get it, Only one pwerson got it, I'm not the rebellious type anyways

[King Malachite]

Also, I am a bit suprised that your mom doesn't know you like girls.  She knows you are FTM right?  I am surprised you would tell her that, but not the liking girls part.

This ^  That honestly baffles me.

I'm sorry you are in this situation.  The only thing I can think of is to pay your mom to let you be able to wear a tux, no questions asked.  It's a little extreme, but worth a shot if you have the money to do such a thing. 

[Brandon]

This ^  That honestly baffles me.

I'm sorry you are in this situation.  The only thing I can think of is to pay your mom to let you be able to wear a tux, no questions asked.  It's a little extreme, but worth a shot if you have the money to do such a thing.

She would be upset, She thinks I'm a girl so she would think its gay which she doesn't accept either. She's just gonna tell me no anyways.

[King Malachite]

I don't know.  Perhaps if you threw $100 or $200 her way, she might turn the other way for one night.  If that doesn't work still, then maybe have her consider a female tuxedo?

[Brandon]

I don't know.  Perhaps if you threw $100 or $200 her way, she might turn the other way for one night.  If that doesn't work still, then maybe have her consider a female tuxedo?

No because I would still have a date Its not like I would be just going with friends and such I'm a boy so I pefer the male tux, But idk thoughshe's not gonna approve of me in a tux or who I would like to take because I like her.

[King Malachite]

No because I would still have a date Its not like I would be just going with friends and such I'm a boy so I pefer the male tux, But idk thoughshe's not gonna approve of me in a tux or who I would like to take because I like her.

What about your Michael Jackson impersonation suit?

[GnomeKid]

Tell your mom you're going to get ready at a friends house, and that you and a few people are just going as friends.  Buy a dress if you have to (sth super cheap) and then try to find some money for a tux (I don't know if you have your own source of money? or if you could scrounge some up some way before prom).  If this girl is understanding of your situation she may be on board with understanding that you come to her house in a dress and change.  Your mom may also understand that you might want to change into your dress later on, and let you wear your normal clothes and just bring the dress along with you.  Throw a suit in the same bag (doesn't really have to be a tux does it, though I guess it'd be nice), and just change into that instead.  If your mom asks for pictures or anything... well who cares its already over and you had your great night. 

I didn't go to prom.  Didn't want to though.  I went to a sick music festival instead =] me and my friend had the time of our lives, while our other friends had a not-so-great time at prom.  Literally we felt bad talking about the show because I'm pretty sure they got busted drinking or smoking or both.  Its not a decision I regret, but it sounds like one you might. 

[Bimmer Guy]

She would be upset, She thinks I'm a girl so she would think its gay which she doesn't accept either. She's just gonna tell me no anyways.

Ok, so to clarify:

Your mom doesn't know you like girls and your mom doesn't know that you're FTM?  Is this correct?

Your Dad knows that you are FTM because you have talked to him about counseling for being trans*.  Right?

I just want to make sure we all understand it, 'cause you write a lot of posts looking for advice, so we need to be clear on the background. 

[Bombadil]

I get that yes, And I understand it will get better but, It doesn't stop me from being alittle upset.

Exactly, that's why I said go ahead and vent. You have a reason to be upset. It sucks.

And some of you guys don't get it. I did rebel when I was in my parents house. Partly because I actually try to be a decent person and I thought being a good kid was part of that and partly because it just wouldn't work. For some people it's not like you get put on restriction if you rebel. It's just much more complicated. And some parents can not be reasoned with. And sometimes you just know you have a parent like that.

[Brandon]

Ok, so to clarify:

Your mom doesn't know you like girls and your mom doesn't know that you're FTM?  Is this correct?

Your Dad knows that you are FTM because you have talked to him about counseling for being trans*.  Right?

I just want to make sure we all understand it, 'cause you write a lot of posts looking for advice, so we need to be clear on the background. 

She knows I'm trans but she doesn't know I like girls., My dad knows both