I want to share a perspective of life which for many still, seems either unattainable or simply, their journey had not revealed this yet!
I have gone through the stages of growth, such as denial, then realization that life isn't worth living if forever in false self, then came the turning point when I stared death in the eye and realized that I can do it different. Then came the dread of loss, the loss of what I felt was love but turned away and discarded as though an unwanted piece of dirt. Next came the turmoil of personifying a true self yet visibly a freak, still within societal scrutiny a taboo, ab-normality. It was then that I felt righteous to share my story with everyone, this was brought on by my external obviousness of persona, i felt as though I needed to explain this to everyone, that I simply couldn't control an onset of this transition, that it was way beyond the means of status quo.
I then, empowered by this means of transparency became a TransActivist, feeling strong about flying the TS flag in peoples faces.
Then I became!
I had a privilege of FFS, a surgery which changed everything. But more so, I always had this drive towards wholeness, one body in congruence with mind. When lying in bed just before bed time, as a 6 year old, I dreamed of a time I too will be who I already felt I was, a girl!
But until the FFS who I was didn't fulfill this child's dream, as I was a transgendered individual, T girl, and not, just a girl.
After lengthy recovery and ongoing HRT I had become ONE at last.
Not denying the truth of self, yet, keeping my past illness to my self, the birth defect so horrendous as to drive me to suicide.
I realized that past is such, gone forever into oblivion of memory, and now is now, this is where I am.
I live this live as a woman, genuine, womanly, innate. Yes, I do know, if someone does bring out the past, I shall not deny it, why should I, after all I Always Was the Girl, a girl borne with genetic discrepancy, I shall gladly explain this fact to anyone seeking. Yet if they decide to have an opinion, such shall be their right, though not my truth!
I AM, and no one can deny this within my own, A WOMAN!
