I think that's normal, in the sense that it's typical for most women to have pain and tightness if they skip a needed dilation for a while after surgery. It sounds like you're one of the less lucky ones who has to dilate more frequently than once a week or so (though I don't know your surgeon, and maybe his recommendation or technique already requires more frequently?). Right now I'm not quite 2 years post-op and tapering down to once a week, and I also have issues if I go more than 3 days between dilations. I've been assured that that will pass in time, but who knows; Brassard and his nurses conceded that some people *will* always need to do it more often than the weekly recommendation, though some few women will be fortunate enough to skip months or years.
Regardless, you won't have a problem with a man IF you keep up with dilation to the degree that you aren't finding that tightness, whatever frequency that means for you. (Even if you don't, you'll probably stretch after a little while with him, just like you do with the dilator. He'll just think you're tight, and telling him you are/were recently a virgin will explain that!) Also, keep in mind that penises are hard but not quite *as* hard as a dilator - I hear from lots of women that they can fit a man considerably larger than their largest dilator, since penises do compress a bit.
