Therapy: how long,how often?

[JayDawg]

I've had 2 visits with my therapist now, a week apart. I've been wondering, how long should one see a therapist, and for how long? Once a month for a couple of years? Weekly for a year? What's your experience and/or advice on this?

Thanks!

Jay

[King Malachite]

It depends on what your goals are and when you want to transition.  If you are in therapy just to get your letters, then you may not need to be there as long.  If you are there to talk about your issues and work them out, then you may need to stay longer.

As for me, I knew that I wanted a letter, but because my transition timeline is so far off, I only met with my therapist once every three months.  The next time I go is when I will get my letter (and that will be when I have my surgery fund saved up).

You might want to discuss with your therapist the best amount of time for you to be there and ask how does it compare with other transgender clients.

[Jessica Merriman]

I go one hour a day and 4 times a month. Where I am you have to see them as long as you are on HRT. Not everywhere is like this though. I know I will see them at least until one year post SRS. After that I don't know.

[LivingTheDream]

I see mine 2x a week 45min ea time. But I'm really messed up so I prob need it. It's been a few months now.

[Xenguy]

I've been seeing mine weekly for about a month and a half now. It honestly depends on what you're trying to achieve. I got a recommendation for HRT on my second session. However, I'm still going to keep seeing my therapist for a lot longer for top surgery letters and personal help.

[Jill F]

Ar first, I needed therapy so badly because I had been a complete disaster for so long that I probably was going to finally succeed at drinking myself to death within weeks.  In fact, my therapist commented on the fact she thought I might not live long enough to see her the second week.  Her diagnosis- severe gender dysphoria, major depression, anxiety, ADD, alcohol and drug abuse.

I did 50 minutes every Saturday afternoon for the first couple of months.  I was put on a low dose of estrogen after one month.  I felt much better right away, and was eventually able to kick the antidepressants and antianxiety meds.  My therapist told me I was "cured" after 3 months and I went on my merry way.

The estrogen was simply the most amazing thing.  It made me feel so wonderfully girly 24/7 that I made the decision to attempt going full time and possibly transition fully after around week 8.   For this my endo was going to need letters, so back to the therapist for 5 more sessions.   The last two of these were mostly spent talking about our mutual fondness for fine wines and heavy metal.   I got the letter and off I went. 

A few months later I needed the SRS letter, so I had two more sessions that were nothing more than a formality.  I have graduated from therapy.

I was incredibly fortunate that being trans didn't really have any negative impact on my life, other than the whole being trans thing itself.   The collateral damage of gender dysphoria can sometimes be absolutely devastating, and this is why I think I got away with so little therapy. 

Some people see a therapist more than once a week for years.   I know plenty of cispeople who do or did.   

Your issues are unique to you, and a good therapist is invaluable in getting them sorted out as quickly as possible.  I probably owe mine my life.

[Eva Marie]

I couldn't afford to see my therapist more than twice a month at first but for me that actually worked well. I got my HRT letter on the first visit for reasons I won't go into, but that is really not the reason I went - I needed to understand myself. I did about 6 months of the every other week deal and now I'm doing once a month. My therapist tells me that I am doing quite well now.

[suzifrommd]

I probably could have transitioned completely without therapy if it weren't for the pesky letters the doctor's require. Most of the help I need, I get from support groups and from this forum.

That being said, I can afford it and my insurance covers a lot of it, so I've been seeing my therapist once or twice a month. Don't know if it really helps, but I keep it in case I need it.

[JayDawg]

Thank you, everyone! I'll be bringing some questions to my next session.

-Jay

[Ryan55]

it depends on what you need, I met with my therapist 4 times lol within two months and we agreed I didn't really need her help anymore, I have an appointment with a doctor to start hrt and if I need her, I can email her or call and set up another appointment, its all up to what you need

[E-Brennan]

About once a week, give or take.  Been going for a few months, and even though the HRT letter is done, I see no reason to stop going to therapy.  I enjoy the time talking about these issues with someone who actually understands, and it's a good way for me to talk things through, grumble, work out problems and basically have someone holding my hand through the process.  I'm in no hurry to end this particular relationship.

[MaryXYX]

I was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety issues before I transitioned, and for a little while after.  That's not really the same though.  The gender hospital requires an "assessment" twice a year and that might be the nearest equivalent.  I think I could have had some sort of counseling there if I had been in any doubt about transitioning, but that didn't apply.

[Emerson]

I've been going for a year and a half every week or two. I am working on more than transition though. I also started therapy long before I transitioned.

[Tysilio]

I've been in therapy for about 18 months, first with a non-specialist who helped me figure out that I really did need to transition, currently with one of the therapists at my gender clinic -- he's also a trans guy, and it's great to work with someone who "gets it" from the inside, as it were. I was squared away as far as starting T within my first four sessions, and the only thing that's keeping me from going ahead with top surgery is money -- my insurance covers hormones, but not surgery.

But I don't plan to stop anytime soon -- I have other stuff to work on, and after a lifetime of pretending to be a woman, letting go of the consequences of that and figuring out who I am as a man isn't so easy.

I go once a week -- I just wish my therapist and my doc worked the same days, so I didn't have to keep making two trips in the same week.

[Ev]

I've been there a few times, but it all has been formality.  I had to see a gender identity specialist (whatever fancy title they carry) to get my advocacy letter, which he gave me in one 15 minute session.  The gentleman has successfully advocated something like 300 transgendered individuals for HRT and 150+ for SRS, which is a good thing for me.  I had to go out of county for that to the state capital.

My county expects a transgender person on the way to SRS to visit a social worker for "x" amount of visits, it seems.  My case worker said we are already ahead of schedule and she plans on releasing me here soon. 

So, yes: it is up to each individual by need AND the state/local laws/regs.  One MTF I knew had to keep an outing log (how often she went out in full dress) to get her advocacy letters on top of put in "x" amount of hours in therapy: she had to put in something like 2 hrs/day out while dressed and have logs and photos of her being out.  I had to do no such thing...thankfully, as it is a little creepy, poor thing...but she is in a more conservative (red) state.