Quote from: Evelyn K on April 12, 2014, 04:37:00 PM
The scene: Was wearing bootcut Deisel jeans, Frye boots and a white untucked CK button up jean shirt. I look similar to my avatar (just a little less fem), I'm kinda short, but I know I'm attractive presenting androgynously.
As confident as I was, I couldn't help but feel like I was some sort of sissy or something standing next to two taller and well dressed power players in suits. I felt awkward and their aura behind me was diminishing whatever self esteem I had. I felt like I wanted to slink away out of the line and go home and re-asses my manlihood. That I'm emasculating myself because I want to be pretty? I'm honestly not a total woman inside but more of a tomboy.
The problem is with my particular facial features, I present much much better as fem and feel I should lead myself along these strengths.
It's weird speaking as a guy who can still turn this ship back around. I'm only over a month on hormones.
Thoughts? Thanks for listening.
My BF wears Diesel jeans all the time. He has like five pairs with totally different stitching: green, yellow, orange, etc. He also has diesel shoes but says he's going back to a more dressay shoe. But, though he's extremely good looking and could get any girl he wanted, he doesn't look femme in the face even remotely. That would be a problem for me.
As far as what you felt, Birking could be right that it is some type of conditioning. I went to a club one time in OC Maryland with my best friend at the time and I never felt more tiny in my life. Every guy towered over me and so did the women. I was literally the smallest person there. Talk about emasculated.
But a tomboy is still a woman. No question. However, if you're feeling like this only a month on HRT and you're andro, what are you going to do when you start to really pass in a year and if your lucky, have unhidable breasts. And guys hit on you. So not only are they standing behind you, they're checking out your ass and whsipering about screwing you and how your mouth would feel so wet on their penis. And then they say I be that makes he vagina wet hearing this. I wonder if she's a squirter? Then, you won't have to worry since you won't be emasculated. You'll be a woman. An object. A set of tits. That happens to have an ass. Or vice versa. If you have my bad luck, they'll even give ya a little squeeze and tell you how beautiful you are. Okay, i loved that I wont lie lol except the touching. No touching. Unless you give me $50. Then one touch.
This will happen, maybe not exactly like this, but you'll be viewed as female in the world. So, ifthat doesn't appeal to you and you want to retain your masculine qualities, why not go the andro route annd not go all the way. There's nothing wrong with that.
