Is anyone else obsessed with trans...thinking about it all the time?

[helen2010]

Miranda

Your phrase "male impersonator" really captures my life experience.  I will use this.  Many thanks.

[Allyda]

I've been living as the woman I've always been for 31 months now and even though I don't think about it nearly as much as I used to, I think I still think about it too much. The worst was for the decades before I finally transitioned. I thought of being female probably at least once every ten seconds for decades. I have responsibilities I have to take care of, but if I hadn't transitioned there's no way I could have taken them. My mom had a stroke in December 2012, and I realize things happen for a reason when they happen. There's no way before living full time that I could have taken care of anyone, even myself till transitioning. I was a drunken, hopeless fool till the day I knew I had to transition or die. I stopped drinking 2 years 8 months ago and at first my thinking about being trans simply continued, but happily, for the first time in my life. My only thing that still bothers me now is that I'm Christian and I feel I continue to think about being TG too much and not enough about God and I feel guilty about it. Otherwise, I'm really happy about most things and my thinking's changed so much as time's gone by. I love being a woman and I hated being a male impersonator so much I tried to kill myself three times. How much worse can it be than that?

Hi Miranda, I know how you feel when you say you thought about transition every ten seconds for decades, and I've been to the brink only twice but with regard to that only once is too many. I remember your replies to my posts when I first joined Susan's. While I don't know if you remember me from say December & January, reading your comments and replies to my post where I was so worried about my age being 49 helped me get through alot of stress and worry during those early stages of my transition. I just want to thank you for those replies, and let you know I'm glad your still here to guide us slightly younger girls who worry too much, lol!

Ally

[TeaCoffee]

Right now I am totally obsessed. It's all I've been able to think about recently. It's been in my head for a long time, but now I'm acknowledging it and seeking out help to actually do something about it and it's kind of like the floodgates have been opened.