Hm, I spent years on denial about my anger... "I'm just frustrated/irritated" I would say. To admit to being angry was tantamount to saying I was the worst person on the planet, that people wouldn't like me, etc. Until the day some twenty years ago I used the "I'm not angry" line with my psychotherapist and she threw it back on my face, telling me I was the angriest person she'd ever met. Really made me challenge myself. My anger was so deeply contained not even I was prepared to agree it existed. Over a few years I got more in touch with that anger, connected with, learned to express it (at first as tantrums) then learned to control it and use it constructively not destructively.
Do I still get angry? Yes. Anger is just an emotion. It is a useful one - used the right way it can fire passion for a cause. When I get angry I use it to speak my mind without flaming anybody or burning the house down. I always strive to be respectful, try to understand where the problem is, speak firmly but never yell or lose my temper, never feel hatred. If I don't get my way I don't get my way. But these days I find, more and more, I do get what I feel is right. I've been told I'm a good negotiator, a good advocate, people respect me. When I lose my temper I apologise, fortunately that happens less and less.
Sadly, all around the world so many people feel the only way they can get what they want is by blowing their stack, being rude, being abusive, shouting, screaming the world down, hitting out - hate, hate, hate.
I agree, anger can be extremely toxic but it is just an emotion, used sparingly and appropriately, without hate and vitriol, it can be utterly powerful and life affirming!
