Do you think people are honest in the passing threads? And do you see a problem?

[JaneNicole2013]

I know I'm chiming in late, but instead of calling it "Do I Pass?" maybe call it "What do you think?"? I've posted a few pictures there and got some positive feedback but then I realized passing is more than just a picture so I've tried to stay away.

I do like the "Before and After" thread. It's great (and encouraging) to see the transformations. I'm looking forward to posting my "Before and After" work ID after I transition at work.

Jane

[PrincessPatience]

I'm so glad someone finally said it.  I though I was the only one feeling this way. I was beginning to think I was in the twilight zone. Lol. Also this is why i barely commented on people's pictures in those threads. (unless they were clearly showing SOME progress.) I don't know the mental state of most of the people here that's why I disregard commenting on their pics. I don't want to be the one thing that pushes them overboard and into hurting themselves. I also agree with everything Evelyn K had said.. Espically what she said about some of the (mostly older) transitioners not dressing very age appropriate and getting false hope comments regarding their clocky choices in clothing. When in reality they would get many strange stares, laughs and possible humiliated if they walked outside looking the way some of them do in their picture post.

[Mermaid]

Espically what she said about some of the (mostly older) transitioners not dressing very age appropriate and getting false hope comments regarding their clocky choices in clothing. When in reality they would get many strange stares, laughs and possible humiliated if they walked outside looking the way some of them do in their picture post.

People are not their age. Age is just a number. They're just being themselves, I think they deserve to be happy, specially at this point in their lives... I'm sure a lot of them have suffered so much before that they just want to feel free and like themselves for once. They don't need to get crap on here too... Honesty, caution and sensibility is important when commenting on someone's appearence, like you said there's no way we know their mental state, but I think acceptance is also important. I'm sure they're not oblivious to certain stares or comments, and I hope they've the heart to not let it get to them.

I think age's a mental state. There's no "age appropriate" clothing. Perhaps to most of society there is but we should strive to do away with those absurd notions. Everything's interesting if you're interested in it, and I truly admire older transitioners who wear what they want.

I have only one problem with pictures like that and that's... well, not being able to bring my parents to read this forum. It's not that the users here are wrong, it's that they're conservative and wouldn't understand. There's a lot of helpful reading material here, but more flirty/provocative avatars would make me super uncomfortable if I knew they were browsing the site. I'd prefer it for those pics to be left in specific more "mature" threads, but, I'm a bit of a liberal so I also advocate that people shouldn't hold back from being themselves...

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Hmmmm....dressing your age.

I suppose that I should throw out my Get Along Gang T shirts.

Hmmmm.....Nah.

[kelly_aus]

I gave up on the 'Do I pass?' threads ages ago.. Why? I was told I wouldn't pass without having X, Y, and Z done.. Which was kinda funny, as my experiences in the real world were a polar opposite.

[katiej]

I tend to stay away from the do I pass threads.  A picture can only tell so much about passing.  How many of us look passable but shatter the illusion when we open our mouths? 

I think age's a mental state. There's no "age appropriate" clothing. Perhaps to most of society there is but we should strive to do away with those absurd notions. Everything's interesting if you're interested in it, and I truly admire older transitioners who wear what they want.

Age is mental...to a degree.  But dressing inappropriately just to spite society is not helpful, whether trans or cis.  The overweight woman with the crop top and yoga pants isn't doing herself any favors.  But unfortunately the stakes are higher for us.  The fat chick is being judged by others, and she may not care.  But when trans girls look ridiculous, our whole community gets judged.

Should it be this way?  No.  But is it this way?  Definitely.

As a community, most of our successful members are are doing their best to blend in.  Even those who aren't necessarily in deep-stealth, aren't walking around with their "I'm a ->-bleeped-<-" t-shirt.  So society has a misconception about us, because their only experience is when they see the dude in a dress on Jerry Springer.

We're kind of in a no-win situation.  Transitioners are going through an awkward phase, and there's no way around it.  Passing just takes time for most of us.  But that's when society sees us, and it reinforces the stereotypes in their mind.  This is why I don't care for the advice that tells trans girls not to worry about what others think and just be ourselves.  I wish we had that kind of freedom, but the world just doesn't work that way.

[Kara Jayde]

Just throwing it out there, but I think there should be a youtube/video thread where we can all get to know eachothers voices and real personalities, as opposed to hiding behind specific angles and photoshop/instagram filters. And instead of calling it 'Do I Pass' simply call in 'MTF Progress Vlogs' or something. One thing that a real support group would have over this group is a level of honesty which comes from reality, you can't take 100 photos and post 1 of them, hoping for a wave of cheers that you look feminine, if you simply have to record a video :/ and if it makes you uncomfortable, you could avoid posting, but I actually think it'd be much more useful than the current Do I Pass thread.

That being said, the Before and After thread is amazing, and part of the reason (along with youtube videos, mostly) that I stopped questioning whether I wanted to transition or not. 

[sad panda]

Just throwing it out there, but I think there should be a youtube/video thread where we can all get to know eachothers voices and real personalities, as opposed to hiding behind specific angles and photoshop/instagram filters. And instead of calling it 'Do I Pass' simply call in 'MTF Progress Vlogs' or something. One thing that a real support group would have over this group is a level of honesty which comes from reality, you can't take 100 photos and post 1 of them, hoping for a wave of cheers that you look feminine, if you simply have to record a video :/ and if it makes you uncomfortable, you could avoid posting, but I actually think it'd be much more useful than the current Do I Pass thread.

That being said, the Before and After thread is amazing, and part of the reason (along with youtube videos, mostly) that I stopped questioning whether I wanted to transition or not.

I would like this idea if I didn't worry about creepers... Idk, something about everything being permanent + videos...

[xponentialshift]

I would like this idea if I didn't worry about creepers... Idk, something about everything being permanent + videos...

The picture and videos are all embedded links. If you delete the sources a week (or more or less) later no one can see them anymore. (Unless someone records them and reposts them elsewhere)

[Evelyn K]

People are not their age. Age is just a number.

Or at least dress appropriate to the age people are able to see. Too big of a contrast and you'll be snarked.

Also, why even try to diminish what was originally said about dressing your age anyway? It's this type of evading that happens around these parts that just comes off sounding like euphemistic horse sh*t.

[katiej]

That being said, the Before and After thread is amazing, and part of the reason (along with youtube videos, mostly) that I stopped questioning whether I wanted to transition or not.

Same here.  The transition videos, and certain people on YouTube made me realize that I could actually pull this off.

At the same time, the not-so-successful YouTub-ers serve as a cautionary tale...and good motivation to get my sh*t together.

[sad panda]

The picture and videos are all embedded links. If you delete the sources a week (or more or less) later no one can see them anymore. (Unless someone records them and reposts them elsewhere)

Yah but people do save them

[Kara Jayde]

True, this forum is very accessible. I'm used to forums that are niche and out of the way, whereas I feel a little exposed on this forum simply because any transgendered search leads, eventually, to here. I'd suggest this is why we don't have more members posting images/videos/et cetera of themselves. You could probably fix that by making the forum more private somehow (needing a membership to read posts) but I suppose that'd defeat the purpose of the forum a little, wouldn't it?

[Tori]

Yup.

It is the internets. Post at your own risk.

[katiej]

Wait...are you telling me the internet isn't private?

[Tori]

Wait...are you telling me the internet isn't private?

Oh sugar, I am so sorry you had to hear this from me.

[Jessica Merriman]

Wait...are you telling me the internet isn't private?

Google my name and see what happens.

[noeleena]

Hi,

All i would say is get to know me as a person , i doubt youll ever say i pass or blend in i dont try or wont to because i know i never will.

why the hell would i mask my face with a lot of makeup to show how stupid i'd look . i dont need to any way. people see me as i am no makeup and no hair,

those who know  me well over a 1000 members in our groups dont have an issue so why the hell should i. its that simple, and who would i fool any way ,

My photos are world wide, as every one see's me ,  i or my friends or Jos can take a photo of myself and what they see so will every one no cooking the photo or reworking them ,

now voice  same thing what you hear is just me as i normally talk to people,

I work with what i have and am im not trying to pass as someone who im not ,
so...... its ether you accept me or you dont again its that simple,

...noeleena...

[Seyranna]

I said the truth once. My post was removed and I had a warning.

GG huh?

[stephaniec]

I think the thread needs a reality check with a soft touch