I completely agree with Jessica. Don't skip the therapy, even if you've had bad experiences with therapists in the past.
For me, the therapy has given me access to a neutral person in this highly-charged, polarizing process. She's someone who listens without judgment where family and friends all seem to have opinions based on misinformation and fear. My therapist provides advice and insight from the perspective of an expert who has seen this all before, not from the perspective of someone who thinks they're losing a friend or a family member to a cult or perversion. She's a great resource for just absorbing my own worries and fears, for helping me work through some complicated issues, and for just sometimes giving me the reassurance that everything is normal and everything will not be as bad as I think it will be. I can talk to her about things that I would never bring up to my spouse (such as my own self doubts which, if my spouse heard, she'd leap on as evidence that I'm making a terrible mistake). I can discuss all those innermost thoughts and feelings that previously I was discussing with myself, and conversations with myself were always destructive and misleading.
I went into therapy with the idea that it was just an (expensive) hoop to jump through and that it would be like going to a psychic healer or a palm reader or something like that, just dubious techniques and unproven success. And perhaps I got lucky - although I'm inclined to think otherwise - because the therapist I ended up with has been worth her weight in gold.
Far from being a gatekeeper or someone to tell me to slow down, after a few sessions she's helped me reach the conclusion that transition would be ideal. She's not trying to hold me back, she's not sitting there trying to rack up hours and fees by exploring issues in tedious detail. She's proven to be an efficient and honest ally in the transition process.
My bottom line on therapy is that it's like an adult helping a child with some difficult homework. The adult wants the child to do the work, but is there to help when things get difficult or confusing and it all seems like it will never become clear. It's hard work for the child, but at the end the child emerges with an understanding far beyond that if the child did the homework alone or if the adult simply gave the child the answers.
I think I've mentioned this elsewhere in another therapy thread, but I have no intention of quitting therapy even though I've got my letter and don't technically need her anymore. There's always things to discuss, missing pieces of the puzzle, issues to deal with or simply grumbles to be aired. She's my impartial companion in all of this, someone who will give me honest advice and guidance, someone who will be there to stop me making dumb mistakes and someone who is there to give me a shoulder to cry on when things get rough. And she's someone to share successes with, someone who really understands the magnitude of the smallest achievements and steps taken towards transition.
Yeah, all of the above is coming from someone who, just a few months ago, thought therapists were a bunch of quacks and frauds, back when I mistakenly believes I was strong enough to go through this alone.
Others, I'm sure, will chime in with their own experiences, but at the very least give it a shot and go into it with an open mind. And if the first therapist doesn't click, if there's no connection, don't give up. Find another, or if that's not practical try to stick with it for a little while. These things take time.
