first bar experiance

[Angélique LaCava]

last nite i went to a bar called the green room its in downtown Covington and it was my first time going to a bar. I had fun. 6 guys hit on me and then a few stopped once I told them I was transgender, but they were nice bout it they wernt mean. 1 of the guys brought me a beer (but that was before I told him I was transgender) and another tried to get me to suck his dick (even after I told him I was transgender), but before he asked me to suck him he came over to me and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk and talk and I said sure so I did and then he brought me across the street from st johns coffee shop near all the ally ways and he started saying stuff about how beautiful I am and everytime he looks at me he gets confused cause its hard to believe im transgender and then he just starts grinding up on me and grabs my ass and tells me he wants to stick his dick in my mouth and I told him im not like that that I don't have sex wit complete strangers, but then once we got back to the bar he started talkin ->-bleeped-<- bout me to everyone telling everyone that im a ->-bleeped-<-. Some girls that he told told me to come hangout wit them and talk and then they told me what he said and then I told them wat he did and after I told them he came over and started talking to them and he put his hand on my leg and had it there the entire time he was talking to them... I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to be mean, but after he walked away the girls were talking about how they saw him grab my leg and I ended up getting all there numbers and making new friends lol, but  other than that guy the nite went great.

[Christinetobe]

Angelique, I am glad you can look at it as a good night.  To me it sounded terrifying.  I would have probably reacted in a much different way just out of fear.  But anyway I hope you have many more great evenings and enjoy your new friends that you were able to make.

[Angélique LaCava]

Angelique, I am glad you can look at it as a good night.  To me it sounded terrifying.  I would have probably reacted in a much different way just out of fear.  But anyway I hope you have many more great evenings and enjoy your new friends that you were able to make.

I was scared when that guy did that, but when he did that I didn't want to be mean and risk him trying to hurt me so I laughed it off and was as nice as possible and told him that he was very attractive, but im not the type who does that wit a guy that I just met.

[Christinetobe]

Angelique,  PLEASE do not think I was implying that What he did was wanted or invited by you. I was absolutely not.  I was just trying to say that that would have entirely freaked me out and I would have been unable to even relax enough to go back inside. I would have run screaming all the way home.  You are obviously more confident and self assured then I am and I am jealous of the way that you were able to handle it.

[Evelyn K]

I don't want to sound like a nanny, but how can you leave and allow yourself to be isolated by a stranger with apparently aggressive sexual thoughts? I sense a pattern of recklessness IMO. If an opinion is what you where seeking by posting this.

[Tori]

And to think, you weren't even 18 less than three years ago.

Be real careful around strangers who are drinking, ESPECIALLY when you are breaking federal law by being underage. It is yet another perfect way to get physically abused and then blamed for it, especially once the bar staff discovers you shouldn't have been there in the first place.

A trans girl, in the rural Deep South, going into a bar before 21 and leaving with a person she does not know...

Glad you made it out alive.

[Evelyn K]

^^ Maybe testosterone infused knuckleheadedness on her part? If you're not suppressing testosterone (from my understanding she's not on HRT) then the gift of fear and self preservation isn't quite so prominent if you are replete with a powerful sex driving hormone like testosterone. Guys will be guys (horny as heck) afterall.

Whereas in women, there's a 1st line of self preservation and cautious inhibition afforded to them by millions of years of evolution. AKA - estrogen.

[Angélique LaCava]

^^ Maybe testosterone infused knuckleheadedness on her part? If you're not suppressing testosterone (from my understanding she's not on HRT) then the gift of fear and self preservation isn't quite so prominent if you're replete with a powerful sex driving hormone like testosterone. Guys will be guys (horny as heck) afterall.

Whereas in women, there's a 1st line of self preservation and cautious inhibition afforded to them by millions of years of evolution. AKA - estrogen.

ur misunderstanding. i was scared. i thought he was goin to rape me, but before he did what he did I didn't want to be mean and say no bout walking and talking cause that's all I thought he wanted cause I did think he was cute and I did think he was nice till he did wat he did.

[Evelyn K]

One day you're going to get hurt. It's only a matter of statistics. Be more careful than this.

[Veronica M]

I would chalk it up to another man thinking with the wrong head... LOL... But I do have to agree about being careful out there... Really glad you had a good time.

[Miranda Catherine]

Angelique,
    You need to scale this type of thing back to zero for awhile. I worry about your safety. I don't understand how you can let this ->-bleeped-<- call you '->-bleeped-<-', the most despicable name we can be called, and then let him put and keep his hand on your thigh because you didn't want to hurt his feelings. This guy asked you to suck him off, and the fact that you went for a walk with him is an invitation to a beating. I don't know how much experience you've had with guys, and especially guys in bars, but there are lots of mean, spiteful men out there waiting to prey on pretty young women, and once alcohol comes into the mix, you can get beaten, raped or even murdered, Angelique. I know there are other women thinking the same thing, and when thinking about your past problems with guys, you need to step back from this a little, at least until you really get to know men better. There are millions of good men out there, but a bar isn't usually where you're going to find them. In my experience, most of the guys who hang out at a bar are usually the most redneck, reactionary idiots who hate women, period, and us, even worse. Angelique, you need to be very careful out there. This can be a very cruel and frightening place for us, but also a wonderful and beautiful one. Just be careful.                                                                                                     

[Jill F]

Testosterone + alcohol + groupthink = bad decisions

Be smart.  Groups of drunken young men are too often a worst cast scenario for transfolk.

[TeaCoffee]

I'm sorry to hear about how that guy treated you. That is awful and wrong and he should not have done any of that. I'm glad you met some friends and that you're okay.

[Alainaluvsu]

Sigh... North shore =/

So when ya gonna come to the quarter? Lol

[Angélique LaCava]

Sigh... North shore =/

So when ya gonna come to the quarter? Lol

most likely next sunday the 27th depends on my cousin cause im going wit her, but if we do go ill prolly be hanging out at the dragons den all nite after I walk around bourbon street for a little bit.

[Alainaluvsu]

You've never been there have you?

[Angélique LaCava]

You've never been there have you?

nope lol

[Alainaluvsu]

It is a total 180 from the north shore, lol...

Its not for everybody but its fun. Its definitely not upscale but theres lots of peoplr to see and laugh at.

[Joanna Dark]

Don't go back to that bar. Go to a different one. A better one. It's all about class. And that bar seems pretty classless. You live and you learn. No biggie. Also, why tell people you're trans? No need to judging by your pics. But, some of the other posters may disagree, the whole point of transition is to live. And going to bars when you're young is part of living. Right now though, I'd focus more on HRT and transitioning then banging men. But I'm a total hypocrite since I have sex with men more than most on this board seem to. Or at least talk about. But it's feels sooo great and I moan like a banshee so...yeah. Go for it if if ya can.

[Tori]

Don't go back to that bar. Go to a different one. A better one. It's all about class. And that bar seems pretty classless. You live and you learn. No biggie. Also, why tell people you're trans? No need to judging by your pics. But, some of the other posters may disagree, the whole point of transition is to live. And going to bars when you're young is part of living. Right now though, I'd focus more on HRT and transitioning then banging men. But I'm a total hypocrite since I have sex with men more than most on this board seem to. Or at least talk about. But it's feels sooo great and I moan like a banshee so...yeah. Go for it if if ya can.

I agree with your sentiment in general, Joanna. I disagree with the advice you are giving to this particular person, although you may not know why. This particular poster has a recorded and patterned history of getting into potentially violent situation after potentially violent situation (no joke) and reporting her, "Successes" back to us. This is not against the rules. It is, however, hard to watch.

That said, if she makes it through all this... well, I can not deny she already is one tough cookie, and she has my deepest respect... and concerns. She certainly is not a shrinking violet. God bless her, and/or whatnot. I have never felt so maternal towards another Susanite.