Hi Christine,
Like everyone else I'm sorry you have to go through this, but you have children you love and who love you, and some very cherished memories between you and your ex-wife, neither of which can ever be taken away. I don't mean to sound like poor me, but I got a girl pregnant twice that I deeply cared for, but she had each one aborted because she felt I couldn't be trusted or relied upon to be there for her or them because of my transsexuality. In retrospect I think she was right though, because I always had my legs shaved, brows plucked etc., and I believe that becoming a parent would have brought out my maternal instincts to such a degree that I would have, in all likelihood, fully transitioned, got myself a boyfriend and try to raise the children without her. She was also young, would have been a lousy mother and she knew it. I think she was afraid she'd be saddled with a couple of brats while I was now a woman. We never did get along very well, I was seeing a guy throughout our relationship, and she used to refer to me as the woman in ours, which I was. Whatever the reasons, I never had kids and have had a large hole in my life besides the nearly terminal pain of being transsexual my entire life and doing little or nothing to make my outside the female I've always been inside. Only the last 31 months have been truly happy out of my entire life, and even if it doesn't sound like it right now, I'm so very grateful to God, my mom, family, friends and some very nice girls and women here on Susan's Place. Hugs to all, Mira
