actually I am a boy now

[sad panda]

That is what i decided. I was born male & otherwise I'm just me. Maybe I take hormones or whatever and maybe people call me a girl but I am a cis boy. I think this is how I have to see it to be happy.

[Ltl89]

All that matters is that you are happy and do what you feel is best for you.  Regardless of what people gender you as, you were always you.  If the most comfortable label for who that happens to be male, then run with it and be happy.  I really hope you find it.

Would you like us to use male pronouns for now on? 

[Heather]

No offense but you sure don't act like a cis boy.

[sad panda]

All that matters is that you are happy and do what you feel is best for you.  Regardless of what people gender you as, you were always you.  If the most comfortable label for who that happens to be male, then run with it and be happy.  I really hope you find it.

Would you like us to use male pronouns for now on?

Thank you <3 Yes. I am me. And that is all that matters. I don't need a label to define it.

And i don't really care about pronouns but sure, might as well so i don't forget. lol.

No offense but you sure don't act like a cis boy.

I act like a cis boy because I am a cis boy. (:

[Sephirah]

Whatever gives you peace, hon. *hugs* Being you is for sure the best way to be happy.

Although... does that mean we might soon see Happy Panda?

[sad panda]

Whatever gives you peace, hon. *hugs* Being you is for sure the best way to be happy.

Although... does that mean we might soon see Happy Panda?

Thank you!!

Hah, I don't know if happy is my style but we will see. I'm pretty happy right now though. c:

[Heather]

I act like a cis boy because I am a cis boy. (:

I really wasn't trying to offend you I actually do have a point I wanted to make that was just a conversation starter sorry. But honestly if I never saw a pic of you I would read you as female by the way you post. I've read a number of your posts and you sound like a young girl not a boy I'm sorry I hate to put it bluntly like that I really am.  But I honestly think your not going to be happy trying to be cis either it might work temporarily but trust me it won't last. And you will only get more and more miserable as the years progress.
I know you don't like being trans but you can't run from it I tried that when I was your age. I tried to pretend to be male but I never did a good job at it. I know you might think it will be easier but it won't people will still treat you different because they expect men to act a certain way and be a certain way. But anyways I do wish you all the best and I hope this works out for you in the end.

[sad panda]

I really wasn't trying to offend you I actually do have a point I wanted to make that was just a conversation starter sorry. But honestly if I never saw a pic of you I would read you as female by the way you post. I've read a number of your posts and you sound like a young girl not a boy I'm sorry I hate to put it bluntly like that I really am.  But I honestly think your not going to be happy trying to be cis either it might work temporarily but trust me it won't last. And you will only get more and more miserable as the years progress.
I know you don't like being trans but you can't run from it I tried that when I was your age. I tried to pretend to be male but I never did a good job at it. I know you might think it will be easier but it won't people will still treat you different because they expect men to act a certain way and be a certain way. But anyways I do wish you all the best and I hope this works out for you in the end.

Well, I can't even pass as a boy right now, at all, and I don't know if i ever will so people's expectations don't matter much if I only tell the right people. I do have friends who accept me being as much of a girl as i probably am even as a cis boy. I'm not sure if they really think of me like a boy or not but it is not important... I'm just being me. I need to be able to be a boy and be fine with that for me, even if the world won't see it.

I lived as a girl for the last couple years and, i don't know, I just need to be over it to be happy. Today my boyfriend told me that he loved me even if I'm a boy, I'm just me, cuz he's seen how much this hurts me, and I am still his princess and, I don't know, that made me feel more loved than i ever did before.

[Heather]

Well, I can't even pass as a boy right now, at all, and I don't know if i ever will so people's expectations don't matter much if I only tell the right people. I do have friends who accept me being as much of a girl as i probably am even as a cis boy. I'm not sure if they really think of me like a boy or not but it is not important... I'm just being me. I need to be able to be a boy and be fine with that for me, even if the world won't see it.

I lived as a girl for the last couple years and, i don't know, I just need to be over it to be happy. Today my boyfriend told me that he loved me even if I'm a boy, I'm just me, cuz he's seen how much this hurts me, and I am still his princess and, I don't know, that made me feel more loved than i ever did before.

I'm really sorry your going through this I do think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. I really do hope you find happiness and I'm happy that you have a good boyfriend who will stand by your side.

[Ltl89]

Honestly, I just wanted to say I'm really happy for you.  I know you've been struggling about how to adapt to the social circumstances given how you feel about yourself and the way you wish to portray yourself physically speaking.  If your boyfriend is behind this, which I remember being one of worries, that is really awesome.  All I can say is that I hope you continue to feel this sense of confidence about yourself and not care how others perceive you.   It sounds like that's the key to happiness, though I don't know as I'm still working towards it. 

[sad panda]

Honestly, I just wanted to say I'm really happy for you.  I know you've been struggling about how to adapt to the social circumstances given how you feel about yourself and the way you wish to portray yourself physically speaking.  If your boyfriend is behind this, which I remember being one of worries, that is really awesome.  All I can say is that I hope you continue to feel this sense of confidence about yourself and not care how others perceive you.   It sounds like that's the key to happiness, though I don't know as I'm still working towards it.

Aww, well it's really sweet of you to care that much. Really, it means a lot to me. I know you are struggling too. I think the best solution really has to be the one that you can live with. I know this isn't the end of all the pain but I'm just going to try to get thru each day from here and not overthink it. Hope you can find what works best for you too =o)

[helen2010]

sad panda

Hope this means that you are not going to leave us.  Your postings, honesty and self awareness were always valuable and eagerly read.  Whether you present or currently choose to identify and present as a boy matters little to your friends on Susans.  Remember to question, to change and to grow is to be human. Please don't be a stranger and travel safe.

Aisla

[eli77]

Well, I can't even pass as a boy right now, at all, and I don't know if i ever will so people's expectations don't matter much if I only tell the right people. I do have friends who accept me being as much of a girl as i probably am even as a cis boy. I'm not sure if they really think of me like a boy or not but it is not important... I'm just being me. I need to be able to be a boy and be fine with that for me, even if the world won't see it.

I lived as a girl for the last couple years and, i don't know, I just need to be over it to be happy. Today my boyfriend told me that he loved me even if I'm a boy, I'm just me, cuz he's seen how much this hurts me, and I am still his princess and, I don't know, that made me feel more loved than i ever did before.

That's awesome! I'm really glad you got such a positive response from him. And it's nice to see a bit more optimism in some of your posts. You've been having such a rough time for so long.

Yes. I am me. And that is all that matters. I don't need a label to define it.

I think that's such a good place to be.

[sad panda]

Thanks sarah. (: lordy do I have so many people to thank for putting up with all my
negativity though. if it helps, at least these last couple days i have really not been thinking about gender stuff much at all. I have not been sad and confused all the time. That's more of a sign than anything to me that OCD aside, this really is right for me.. this really, truly is a step towards being happy for once, and I'm so excited about that.

[jussmoi4nao]

Aww, this post made me happy to read, love ya, dude! I'm officially using male pronouns now whether you like it or not I know this has been a struggle but I'm glad you're finding some peace so you can get on with living, cause there's lots left to do

Here for you and if you have a new name you want me to use holla at me and lemme know.

[Ltl89]

Thanks sarah. (: lordy do I have so many people to thank for putting up with all my
negativity though. if it helps, at least these last couple days i have really not been thinking about gender stuff much at all. I have not been sad and confused all the time. That's more of a sign than anything to me that OCD aside, this really is right for me.. this really, truly is a step towards being happy for once, and I'm so excited about that.

I think a lot of people understand the angst and negativity you feel.  Read most of my threads, lol. 

By the way, are you going to remain with your current presentation and everything?  Have you thought about that?  And are you going to tell others about it or is this more of an internal thing so you can feel peace on the inside.   I'm getting the sense you are just thinking of yourself as a boy on the inside, but are going to remain being you regardless of gender stereotypes and don't feel the urge to change much else.   Either way I think it's cool, just curious how far you want to "detransition" if you will. 

[sad panda]

Aww, this post made me happy to read, love ya, dude! I'm officially using male pronouns now whether you like it or not I know this has been a struggle but I'm glad you're finding some peace so you can get on with living, cause there's lots left to do

Here for you and if you have a new name you want me to use holla at me and lemme know.

Hah, is dude a pronoun? :3 But okayyy~

Still no name, gawd. I kinda liked the idea of Ashley as a guy's name but it's not quite me. Hah. I haven't honestly thought about it.

I think a lot of people understand the angst and negativity you feel.  Read most of my threads, lol. 

By the way, are you going to remain with your current presentation and everything?  Have you thought about that?  And are you going to tell others about it or is this more of an internal thing so you can feel peace on the inside.   I'm getting the sense you are just thinking of yourself as a boy on the inside, but are going to remain being you regardless of gender stereotypes and don't feel the urge to change much else.   Either way I think it's cool, just curious how far you want to "detransition" if you will.

Right now it's just for me, internally, but we shall seeeee how it evolves. I haven't even decided what to do in terms of hormones yet. I don't really want to look aged and it would suck to get the aged look without passing benefits. I might get top surgery though.

[Nero]

That is what i decided. I was born male & otherwise I'm just me. Maybe I take hormones or whatever and maybe people call me a girl but I am a cis boy. I think this is how I have to see it to be happy.

That's awesome hon! Really, I think the last sentence is key. Doesn't matter what anyone else sees. Just what you see. It's all in the framing.

[L G]

I have been pretty quite here since joining (a complete inability to put what I am thinking into good posts) but have been reading almost most everything, and it great to see that you are finally hitting your stride. It is really is great. In a way, you make me hope for myself.