Do You Think You Would Have Survived "Transition" Without The Internet ?

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

I know I've done a similar thread in the past but can't be bothered searching for it...

I was a late comer to the net, that is I had already transitioned before accessing it, my transition was in and of the real world (I had managed to slip through the net, for a number of years, but then got inter- netted in 2005) 

Anyhow...I was reading a post (can't remember which one it was) where the person said something like " I can't imagine what it must have been like to transition without the internet"... So hence this thread/poll......

Also, what do you think are the pitfalls and benefits of internet use for trans-people ?

Would you say it's both a blessing(lots of info) and a burden(too much info) ?

Metta Anatta

[Nero]

Well, I didn't really use the net till about 27. Before that, my use was sporadic and mostly just looking up literary/historical stuff. As soon as I found out ftm transition actually worked - that I could actually look like a guy, it was all over for me. Never even a question.

I had read stuff about gender dysphoria etc in books. But they weren't up to date and mostly focused on mtf stuff. And I'd heard and seen stuff. Ya know, drag queens and everything. There was a large gay community. And a gay friend of mine actually tried to tell me I was ftm, but I went off on him. I really didn't know. I mean, I heard about ftms. But I thought they were like Brandon Teena - women who could pass for guys naturally. And there was no way I could. I didn't know what hormones could do until the internet.

So no, I probably wouldn't have known until I spent significant researching on the net. So, not really so much I wouldn't have survived. As that I just didn't know. Because I didn't know hormones could do that much. I thought transsexuals were people who either got a vagina or dick implanted. And I wasn't remotely interested in that. Or that they were people like Brandon Teena who could naturally pass. And that certainly wasn't me.

[Jennygirl]

I'd heard and seen stuff. Ya know, drag queens and everything.

Pretty much the same for me for a long time.

I had wanted to make some sort of transition for a long long time, since I was in middle school. I still hadn't realized the depth of my transness at that point though.

When I began seriously researching my options, I found Susan's. Everything kind of clicked. That was a year and a half ago- the rest is history

[Cindy]

The internet was my saviour. I found out I was normal and went from there. The place that helped the most though was Susan's. I made friends with women going through the same journey and they inspired me, held my hand and wiped away my tears.

As Jenny just said - the rest is history

[Anatta]

Well, I didn't really use the net till about 27. Before that, my use was sporadic and mostly just looking up literary/historical stuff. As soon as I found out ftm transition actually worked - that I could actually look like a guy, it was all over for me. Never even a question.

I had read stuff about gender dysphoria etc in books. But they weren't up to date and mostly focused on mtf stuff. And I'd heard and seen stuff. Ya know, drag queens and everything. There was a large gay community. And a gay friend of mine actually tried to tell me I was ftm, but I went off on him. I really didn't know. I mean, I heard about ftms. But I thought they were like Brandon Teena - women who could pass for guys naturally. And there was no way I could. I didn't know what hormones could do until the internet.

So no, I probably wouldn't have known until I spent significant researching on the net. So, not really so much I wouldn't have survived. As that I just didn't know. Because I didn't know hormones could do that much. I thought transsexuals were people who either got a vagina or dick implanted. And I wasn't remotely interested in that. Or that they were people like Brandon Teena who could naturally pass. And that certainly wasn't me.

Kia Ora FA,

I first found out that changing ones sex was possible back in late 1971, shortly before I was to return to the UK from Oz, I remember reading an article in the Sydney morning Herald about the "he-shes" of Singapore and how they took hormones and some had had surgery...I was fortunate enough to spend some time with the local trans-community in Singapore, but it took many years of having to row down that ancient river in Egypt "denial" before acceptance set in and I set out on the path...I had read books and magazines which had article on people transitioning....

I must admit I was amazed at the amount of info on trans-people that can be found on the net, it was mind boggling...Back then I didn't have a word for how I had felt, so to come across information on GID and GD at ones finger tips was of great interest-but my transition was already do and do with...

Metta Anatta

[Jill F]

No way.  I'd be dead or drunk in a gutter by now.

[katiej]

About 15 years ago I discovered a lot of the early online transgender resources, and I did a ton of research.  But it actually kept me from transitioning in my early 20's.  Everyone seemed to have such horrific stories of abuse and tragedy, and fortunately I just don't.  They all said that you shouldn't even attempt to transition unless your only options were transition or death.  And I'm just not that dramatic about anything in life.  So it made me question whether I was really transgender.

And at that time I couldn't find a single example of a married person who transitioned and didn't lose their family, and that really sealed it for me.  I decided I'd just have to find a way to live with it.  And I did pretty well for 15 years.

But then about a year ago I discovered Susans and the transition timeline videos on YouTube, and suddenly transition actually seemed possible.  I found people who transitioned well, and more importantly I learned that many were able to keep their families.  And that's when dysphoria really kicked in, because I could no longer push it down.  I couldn't ignore it with the excuse that my wife and kids matter more than my happiness.

So the internet both kept me from transitioning, and later pushed me to do it.

[Nero]

No way.  I'd be dead or drunk in a gutter by now.

I should have cut to the chase like you. 

[Ms Grace]

My first attempt at transition in 1989-91 was pre-internet. I was still able to get a lot of information, mainly because I was at university in '89 and the library had a whole of...what?... three books on the subject. Still it was enough to get me started. Mind you I didn't "survive" transition, or more to the point my transition didn't survive. The missing ingredient was support and being able to communicate with people going through the same thing. So that is what has made a huge difference for me this time, places like Susan's and also being able to read about (or watch) other people's journeys has been what helped this transition survive... and that's all down to the internet.

[Lauren5]

The internet was pretty critical, otherwise no one would have told me about the word transgender, nor would I have learned about it.

[King Malachite]

I probably wouldn't have any intentions of transitioning had it not been for the internet simply because I wouldn't of had much of a clue where to start, especially in the small town I live in with virtually no resources and no support.  Even WITH the internet, I am JUST finding out about potential resources just outside of my town so yeah, for me, it would have been virtually impossible to transition.  I am such a wreck now emotionally that I can't even imagine how I would be without the internet.  Then again, the argument could be made that because I didn't have the internet, then perhaps I might be in a slightly better place emotionally since I wouldn't have known much about transition so I probably wouldn't be focus on it so much and forced to think about other things.  I wrote about that a while back.

[luna nyan]

About 15 years ago I discovered a lot of the early online transgender resources, and I did a ton of research.  But it actually kept me from transitioning in my early 20's.  Everyone seemed to have such horrific stories of abuse and tragedy, and fortunately I just don't.  They all said that you shouldn't even attempt to transition unless your only options were transition or death.  And I'm just not that dramatic about anything in life.  So it made me question whether I was really transgender.

And at that time I couldn't find a single example of a married person who transitioned and didn't lose their family, and that really sealed it for me.  I decided I'd just have to find a way to live with it.  And I did pretty well for 15 years.

My situation was similar.  HRT in those days was an all or nothing affair - low dose simply wasn't around or talked of.  Definitely, it was a case of you had to be in the situation of transition or death - I wasn't feeling like I fit in that category so I didn't go past electro and therapy.

I look back now at a few of my friends who not only survived but thrived and second guess myself.  I feel like I'm too deep in my current situation now and made my peace (for at least the next 5-10 years anyway).

[V M]

It is yet to be seen if I survive or not, right now the outlook for survival is not good

But anything can change, just trying to not give up all hope yet

[Carrie Liz]

I never would have transitioned, period, without the internet.

The media gave me nothing but false information about what being trans was. I believed, falsely, that trans women were just men who had surgeries to give them vaginas and boobs and feminine body shapes, and therefore with my hideously-masculine body I NEVER would have done it, because I would have continued falsely assuming that I was beyond hope.

This site's "Before and After" page, and watching transition timelines on Youtube, was the only reason I learned about HRT's effects, and the only reason I finally figured out that I really could do it, after 10 years of falsely believing that I was beyond hope.

Had I seen those same pictures and videos when I was a teenager, I would have done it immediately. So thank God for the internet!

[Misato]

I make my money to fund this thing from the Internet so, it's very important for other reasons for me!

Back home in Green Bay, I think I would have been stuck without the web. Still, I got on line and what's the first thing I find but verses from Deuteronomy that I interpreted to mean that I was an abomination in the eyes of God. As a person of faith at the time, loaded with terror of hell, I didn't take that well.

The web gave me something to come back to with out having to tell my Pastor or come out to anyone. At the time beyond learning that I was not alone, having a place to go to deal with my faith and need to transition in private was valuable. Still, seeing that so many were going for SRS made me feel like an outsider because once I learned about dilation I was turned off completely.

So the Internet was a mixed blessing for me, but it was a key blessing.

[suzifrommd]

Not a chance. Without Susan's I would have been clueless what to do. I might not have transitioned at all.

[Northern Jane]

I started digging for information in about 1963 so that was decades before the Internet. SRS was 1974.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Yeah. I would have used the library to find the info that I needed on therapists, electro techs, endos, etc.

[Adam (birkin)]

The Internet has been helpful, but I think I'd have been OK without it. It definitely helped me when I was trying to decide how I was going to go about transition - helped me locate a gender therapist, get an idea of what to expect and what not to expect from hormones and surgery, and I met a few cool new people.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

Thanks for your responses so far...

There's no question about it, the internet (which provides support forums such as Susan's) not only gives one access to what could be seen as vital information, it also acts as a form of cyber counselling for many-where members can off load what's on their minds and get feed back(for the most part positive)...

However I'm not sure if having access to the net when I transitioned, would have made it any easier for me...

Metta Anatta