For me it was...different...than most here, I'd imagine.
I have always been sort of a self-inflicted outcast. I'm not too keen on socializing too much person-to-person because, well, for the most part I value my space and find the vast majority of people repugnant. However, quite a few people can't take the hint that I like being by myself 99/100 times, so always felt the need to "check in on me" from time to time to try to cheer me up. These solipsists...people who think that everyone is like them...think that just because they can't live by themselves, no one can. Their "good intent" actually saps me, drains me, leaves me feeling empty.
My wife and kids are almost too much sometimes, to be honest hahahaha.
There are the exceptions: the select few people who I actually like being around. These people are sharp, insightful, and secure in themselves enough to understand my position in life. Quite frankly, I would much rather be reading and writing than "hanging out" with people...but that is why I do so well/am so comfortable on a place like Susan's because I interact with people purely by reading and writing...feels as if we are all characters in a novel. If I don't want the drama, I just don't read it. If I don't like this story, I leave it. My more sensitive senses remain safe, shielded. Pecular, yes, but I never professed to being "typical." Not once.
There is a difference between being a loner and being alone. True loners are like true vegans: just like a vegan doesn't care much for meat at all, a loner doesn't miss the interaction.
I am asocial, not anti-social. Anti-social people cause trouble, like to stir the social pot. Me? I would rather let everyone else be, outside of some forum or having a pen-pal. I am a very courteous person and can chat for days if someone wants to, but don't bother inviting me over because I probably am not going to invite you. (Again, there are the exceptions.)
So, every thing I can broadcast about myself that is true and that can "filter out" shallow-minded people, I use. When I remembered my trans-nature...that had been supressed for years...I was quick to broadcast it because why? I knew it would thin the herd. And guess what? It did. Now, the only people who remain are those who I enjoy being with anyways.
I am an exile, and proud of it. I paid my debt to society when I was in the USAF and find no need to sacrafice any more of myself than I already have. To be able to "divorce" myself society as much as possible is a great feeling, very liberating. I don't want trouble and I don't want to cause it: but like I said, anything about me that I can use to get space from the shallow folk I use.
