I knew I was a girl at age 5. My biological Mom who was all I had at the time, didn't force me to "be a boy," She just wanted a happy kid and let me be me. She was truly unique. Had I not lost her in a car accident a year and a half later, I've no doubt things with me would have been different and She'd had done everything within her means to help me transition before puberty hit me with the ugly T stick.
Regrets? Oh yes I have them in spades. Being adopted off the reservation at 7 and a half for one into a family that made transitioning impossible. I don't want to repeat my other posts, but after being suicidal more times than I care to remember though only actually attempting it twice, I'm sure my story is a lot like many others here. I look at myself as a survivor after living in misery and torment for many years, surviving quite miraculously my two suicide attempts, a horrible aircraft accident that really tore up and burned the left side of my body, and surviving my adopted family's abuse to get to where I am now.
Since I began living full time before hrt at 44 when I bought this home I live in now you could say I've been in transition for 5 years now. It just took me a ridiculously long time to find Doctors who would help me to get started on my hrt. I actually started hrt DIY 2 months before finding my current Endo the morning of December 27th, 2013. At this point, it was either finally after years and years waisted start my hrt or die (3rd time might be a charm), that I chose life, to live as who I am, and bring my physical body in line with my heart, mind and soul as the woman I know I've always been.
So yes, I have many regrets for not transitioning sooner. Regret so massive it was consuming me until I found you lovely ladies here on this website. Those of you who read my early posts and replied to some of them showed me I wasn't too old at 49 for full transition, and how to put those regrets behind me as I've done with the not so good memories of my childhood and past. I've come a long way in the last 5 months or so I've been a member here. And most of my regrets, I've laid in the past where they belong. I'm living again, I'm happy, and I can look forward to my future.
Regret/s can consume you. I remember a cryptic quote that sticks in my mind: "Those Who Live In The Past, Are Condemned To Repeat It." While I may not have the words exactly correct it's message is clear to me anyway. Live for your future, and leave the past where it belongs -in the past.
Ally
