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Why Transition Over the Age 50?

Started by TRyan, April 29, 2014, 10:11:43 PM

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TRyan

I'm 51. I came out to someone today and was asked this question:

"Why would you want to transition over 50? 

This was actually from another trans person so it threw me off a bit, lol. 

I thought it was a good question because I think there are different issues to be faced when transitioning and "older".

How would you answer this question?   
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Jill F

It's never too late to be true to yourself.

I did it at 43.  I'm not pretty and I don't care.  I'm finally happy after all these years and that's what counts to me.
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justpat

  I started with a complete meltdown in Feb of 2013 which really forced me to do something.I accepted the fact and embraced it in early March,then had to jump through a bunch of hoops some which I think were on fire for the VA. Then was finally cleared for HRT and started  12/25/2013. This was  3 months short of my 64th birthday.I can say without a doubt it was the best thing I ever did in my life, I feel wonderful and have an inner peace and tranquility that I had never achieved before in my life. I love hrt it has given me back my life. :)  Yes I have lost some people I considered friends, but now that the list is shorter I do know who my real friends are and I love them for that. Will I ever pass, to those that knew me maybe but to those I now meet they accept me as I am and that is all anyone could ever ask for.   Patty
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Dee Marshall

Because it's never too late to acknowledge that something is wrong and to take advantage of a solution. If I die half way through HRT at least those few months will be infinitely better than the half century(+) before because I didn't just lay down like a whipped dog and take it.
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Eva Marie

In a word? Peace. And happiness too. I guess that's two words  :laugh:

I am 51 and am about 8 months into a transition. I was drinking myself to death and I saw no purpose in getting up each day to live my life. My life was dull and gray. I was waiting to die.

Now? My life is full of vibrant colors, I am pretty much excited to get up each morning, I enjoy *everything* in life and I want to try all kinds of new things, I am far more tolerant and compassionate than before. Life is exciting to me.

In short, I am living a life that is worth living, and I have a purpose every day when I get up. Yes, there were significant costs to doing this but all of them have been worth it.

That to me is worth transitioning over 50.


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justpat

  Why do I always feel like a wonderfully happy senior citizen here ? Cause I am and HRT is the reason.
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TRyan


These are all wonderful and for some reason made me cry.  Because I'm early in transition I'm still in a lot of fear about the future (housing, medical care, etc) so I've been sitting here for the past hour trying to talk myself out of transitioning.

I could stop hormones and continue to exist.  I'd sort of made peace with the fact that I'd never be able to be the real me and just hoped that in the next life I'd be able to be who I wanted to be.

I was going to transition in the late 90's but chickened out and decided to go back to school and get my PhD. I did that then started abusing drugs for another 10 years. So I can relate to what you said Eva Marie. (I can related to what everyone has said).

I'm in recovery now but the desire to transition hasn't gone away.

I do feel more at peace. I'm terrified of telling my family but I actually smile in pictures now. I could never quite do that before.  I've had a lot of shame come up that I'd been repressing and a lot of water retention (in fact I'm going through a real ugly phase, lol).  All of that was creating a sense of doubt in me as far as this being the right thing to do but I can't imagine stopping and going back.

I remember back in 4th grade one Christmas when I decided to part my hair on the side for one night. It was such a small thing but it made me feel so good. I hid it from everyone.

I think it takes courage to transition at any age but particularly for those over 40.

I loved what everyone has said so far.

Thank you...
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Kade1985

Like the others said. It's never too late. As long as you draw breath transitioning is possible. Even if it's late in life you can still be happy and feel accomplished, whole, and complete. I can imagine it might be scarier, but you will have the rest of your life to be the person you've always wanted to be.

=D I wish you well on your journey, I promise it'll be a good one even if rough at times.
www.youtube.com/kadeforester <--- my weekly vlog for my transition
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barbie

Some people say like that, but our life is not entirely for biological reproduction.
I started crossdressing when I was about to have my little daughter.
I do not know, but I feel better and happier when wearing makeup, miniskirts and heels.

barbie~~
Just do it.
  • skype:barbie?call
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Ms Grace

Quote from: TRyan on April 29, 2014, 10:11:43 PM
"Why would you want to transition over 50? 

How would you answer this question?

"Why not??"

It's how I answer all "why?" questions. ;D
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Ltl89

From the perspective of a younger transitioner, sometimes I think transitioning at an older age can be more of a benefit than an issue depending on how you look at it.  In most cases, you already had a family and established a careers and have stability, so you aren't searching for that.   Sure, there are a whole set of issues that the younger generation have easier (like passing and having more time to form our new life etc) but there are plenty of obstacles we all have to face one way or another.  The idea of finding a career and love life as a transgirl sort of is a daunting thing to me, especially when I'm still trying to finance all of this while broke.  Maybe I'll blend in easier looks wise, which does matter a lot to me, but looks don't last all that long, right?  Like I said, we all have struggles regardless of our age or when we start.  Maybe some of them are more age specific but that's not necessarily true either.  Therefore, even though I'm glad to have started earlier, I don't believe there is ever an expiration date nor do I see late transitioners as hard luck cases.   You transition over 50 if that's what you want and you can handle it.  It's as simple as that. 
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Rachel

I had a breakdown December 2013 (age 50). I just could no longer take it would not have made my 51st birthday. In the last 14 months I only had one period for 18 hours when things got close and that was when a presentation about violance (sexual and physical abuse) and Trans* program were presented  at work. I think that was one of the most difficult hours in a long time.

Getting help to cope with what people have done to us and what we did to ourselves to surpress our inner beauty has allowed me to look forward to living. Transitioning is a roller coaster ride with a huge cost of admission but it has huge benefits too. Untill I started transition I had no idea of the benefits.

My boss, early on in my transition, had a talk with me. He was trying to talk me out of it. He shared his thoughts of how females think and feel and how being male is so much better. Then he brough up how people at work will treat me and his fears about that. What do you say to someone ho has no comparison or referance? I told him it will be ok and he just had a blank stair ( I work with trades and Operating Engineers in a very ultra male environment).

I think dealing with the past, growing my identity and looking forward to tomorrow is why I am transitioning.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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Nero

Because who knows how long you'll live? You might have another 30, 40, even 50 years to go. Why suffer all that time in the wrong gender? Even 10 more years is too long if you can finally find peace.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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warlockmaker

Because it was the right time in my life. I've had children, financially secure, fufilled my responsibility - its time to gve to myself!!! And i'm just so happy I did.
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015
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LordKAT

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abbyFlame

I am in my 40's and the question sends me into an anxiety attack. I feel like the time to transition is now but I am not ready. I also don't want to find myself at 50 wanting to transition and not being able to for whatever reason (health, career, stress on the kids, etc.).

I take lots of solace from the stories I hear of successful late transitions, it let's me know that it's never too late.
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Sarah Louise

A silly question in my estimation.

50 isn't that old, you still have 30+ years to go and why not live them as your true gender.

But then it all depends on what is important to you.  I'm 69 and still out there everyday, never ashamed never hidden.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Gina Taylor

In June, I'll be turning 46, and I started transitioning at the beginning of this year, and everything ahs been going great! :) Aside from a few setbacks. But finally I'm moving forward and I'm doing what is best for me and I'm taking charge and I'm close to that age bracket where y'all are at as well. We will live long and prosper! :).   
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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suzifrommd

I don't have as many years left as younger folk. Every day of that time is precious. I don't want to spend one more day than I have to being someone other than my authentic self.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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E-Brennan

Quote from: TRyan on April 29, 2014, 10:11:43 PMHow would you answer this question?

Let's flip it around.  How would you answer it?

I too am a touch older than I'd like to be.  It's certainly more challenging for the older crowd to transition - at least in some ways; we're less malleable physically, we've lost many years of youth, we're sometimes married and parents and have careers and commitments.  But in other ways, it's better to transition later in life - we've lived as male and know for sure that it's not who we are, we may be more secure in relationships, housing, finances, etc.

But all that's beside the point.  And I've come to realize, through therapy, that analyzing the "why" when it comes to transgender issues is kinda pointless.  It just is.  So it's more a case of accepting who we are, and figuring out how to deal with it.

Transition is a far better way of dealing with it than hiding it away again, especially since you know that hiding it makes you less than happy.  And these days, transitioning when older isn't a huge deal; plenty of people do it, and plenty do it rather successfully.  As an older woman, you're sometimes less beholden to looking "magazine pretty", and I for one am not too upset that I'll miss out on my teens and twenties (and thirties :() as a young woman - those years can be difficult for cis-gendered girls, let alone us.  So yeah, I'm happy to pick things up in my forties, an age where many women are confident enough to just be who they want to be, not who the male-dominated media tell them they should be.

Plus I don't entirely regret my time spent as a male.  While extremely uncomfortable at times, it's something I think I'll look back on as a female and think, "Wow, I've seen both sides of the fence." That's something that few people have, and I think we should consider ourselves lucky in that respect.

Perhaps the best answer is, as Ms. Grace noted above, "why not?"
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