Its a hard thing for me to talk about, because sometimes no matter how I word somthing, I feel as though it goes against what other people might think, so I say now when I say what I think, I'm speaking of my own personal perception, but every body has their own perspective, so I know what I see, won't be what you see. But.. Ill offer my perspective in hopes it might help others.
I think in terms of passing somtimes, we might force specific behaviour upon ourself in order to pass, exspecially for those thet NEED stealth, a sort of blending in defence mechanisme.
I myself can't accept that their is such a thing as girls and boys clothes, or girls and boys behaviours and or manarisms. But although these things arnt girl and boy, they do have girl and boy asociations. Eg more girls act like this so this is girly.
So I ask myself if I accept, that liking dresses and flowers and wonting boobs and hating the need to shave to depression, and despising my penis don't mean I'm a girl, why do I still feel like a girl?
So ok, let's say I can have all these things and be accepted identifying as male that should be all I need right. Why isn't it all I need.
Because I beleve that no matter what I look like, no matter what I sound like, no matter how I dress and act I'm a girl. So all the things I want and how I want to look and how I act are all part of me and who I am and what I'm like as a peron. I don't want a sex change because I feel like a girl, I want a sex chage because I want a sex chage and need one due to and extream dis comfort with the existance of my penis.
So no its not outside in, in this case, but inside out.
And any aspect that is outside in, is done in self defence (the blending in mentioned before) or genaral conforming. Like how you pick up an accent, or don't bother using a bin in a street with a lot of rubish. Or throwing a cig but in a patch that has a lot of them. And general scocialising will cause some mannerisms to be picked up to. Eg girls nights out you will pick up behavour patterns from everybody you spend time with regulerly. But this too is natural, just like the need to be safe and self defence.
For the self defence its not the extra effort manarisms that natural its the need to feel safe, so either way its still in some way inside out.
