Wondering why it is, that just when you have figured out the meaning of a TG life well lived, that an innocent comment, an uncomfortable pause, or a quizzical look takes that certainty....
and just when you have figured out that you really are blessed to be trans, to be the product of nature and are faced with a life of boundless possibility that you consider that there is another possibility - that you are just a cosmic joke, nature's attempt at humour, or an inconvenient gender to those who think in binary terms....
and just when you say stop, stop overthinking this, just pause, breathe and be present .... Your mind races away and disturbs your momentary peace and sense of equilibrium ....
and then it is time to try to find an untroubled sleep ...... and start over.