Orientation issues and beyond...

[Aquarelle]

Hi there

Lately I am wondering what is happening with me... I had a girlfriend and I considered myself as bisexual towards lesbian, but it is already a month, after my gf broke with me, also she told me she started dating some guy a week after the break up... It was painful, but also pushed some button in me and now I am becoming much more curious about men...  :roll:
The problem is, that I've never been with a man... didn't even kissed one... I had my crushes, but I was too scared to do something  :roll: 
So, I wanted to ask if someone of you had the same issues and what happened later? Started dating guys...? First kiss... what is the feeling...? Does it feel right or...?

I am just scared, that maybe I am subconciously trying to push myself to be with a man and I am not sure I will like it, although I've dreamed of it so many times... I feel very confused...  :?

[Jessica Merriman]

My Endo warned that this might happen. He said having female hormones in me would change my sense of smell which may make me lean towards men as my perceptions of pheromones changed. Growing up male I only dates cis girls, but now I am not attracted to them, but find I am jealous of what they are wearing, hairstyles, etc. I had one date earlier this year with a cis male and liked it a lot. Nothing sexual happened, but I liked the security he provided, the manners he showed me and was definitely attracted to him. 

[HoneyStrums]

For get about orientation all together, I mean realy its just a word, if your atracted to them does it realy matter? If their atracted to you does it realy matter? The only thing that does matter is if they or you feel the same.

I think what your realy looking for I a word you can use to describe you own personal orientation. But prefferences can change because although some things about uus don't chage, somthings can. I wouldn't bother with it realyN just live life, you won't know if you like or don't like somthing antill you try tbh.

Its it my opinion streight guy who's never tried being with a guy doesn't realy know he's stright. It just funny how streight guy who has tried and doesn't like men is somehow always called bi, when I see him as one of the few men that actually know their stright. But flirt with everyone you find actractive, don't close doors. If they like you see how far it goes and how comfatable you are with it.

Your gender is you, and your orientation is you too. Why apply a lable, when you only real word that can truely describe you personal likes and dislikes and orientation is one word, you

[Jill F]

It does not matter to me whom I find attractive anymore.  I'm trans and therefore beyond queer anyway.  Anything goes now.

[Ms Grace]

Yes, it's an odd one. I consider myself still attracted towards women, but that has a very different, non sexual quality to it. Men...meh...don't know but I do see a few from time to time that I really like the look of. That in itself is a shift I never expected.

[BunnyBee]

My Endo warned that this might happen. He said having female hormones in me would change my sense of smell which may make me lean towards men as my perceptions of pheromones changed. Growing up male I only dates cis girls, but now I am not attracted to them, but find I am jealous of what they are wearing, hairstyles, etc. I had one date earlier this year with a cis male and liked it a lot. Nothing sexual happened, but I liked the security he provided, the manners he showed me and was definitely attracted to him. 

Weird you would say that because stinky men majorly turn me off, and that is one of the few reasons I have left to make me believe I may not be straight.  But then again I was with my sister a few months ago and we went into a room that was recently vacated by a group of stinky boys and she promptly took a can of febreeze to it, so idk.  Maybe it doesn't mean anything.

[Jessica Merriman]

Pheromones, not stink!

[stephaniec]

I've been bi all my life, HRT just increased my awareness of men. I'm that same as I've always been just less inhibitive of my desire for a man.

[Ms Grace]

When I was in high school I had a major crush on a boy about two years younger than me. Don't know why (well, other than he was really cute!) but that was a one off experience. Interestingly, even when it was happening I never thought of myself as gay.

[Jessica Merriman]

Interestingly, even when it was happening I never thought of myself as gay.

DUH, you are a girl!

[Jill F]

I wasn't ever attracted to gay men, so I didn't ever ID as gay.  I was always attracted to certain straight men though.  I even kissed a couple of guy friends in college when I was really drunk.  I had to make the excuse that I was just messing with their heads.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Actually I was a bit like you...

I tried to have relationships with guys but it turned out to be meh for me...
maybe cause Im not attracted romantically with them at all...
and since my libido is really low, what matters now for me is love...

[Serenation]

I've only still made out with one boy, kissing wasnt here nor there though I found his body sexy, and I did genuinely love him.

Swear I'm back to girls, but If I bump into The Rock or Captain America all bets are off.

I like Jill's attitude. It's hard to judge people on gender in our situation.

[Kylie]

Sexual orientation is just one more thing that can be messed up by being trans  . I have only dated ciswomen in my life, I thoroughly enjoy foreplay and oral sex with them, but never liked penetrating them all that much. I find everything about women attractive while on the man front, I love to look at a fit, muscular well groomed male body, but I have never been attracted to the face of any male. The thought of having sex with a man as a female is probably the most arousing fantasy for me, but the thought of kissing or making out with one is very unappealing.  Ha! How is that for weird?

If/when I transition, I have decided to not hold back and try out whatever I desire.  All rules will be out the window!   I have denied myself happiness my whole life, why keep doing it?  After all, I am trans, how could anyone cis really think less of me if they already think i am low for being trans and why should I even care at that point?

I say if you have the itch babe, scratch it and scratch it good!

[anais]

I've also noticed some changes. Before I wasn't really into men but now they seem more interesting. It's kinda weird for me and I didn't think it could change.

[Aquarelle]

Sexual orientation is just one more thing that can be messed up by being trans  . I have only dated ciswomen in my life, I thoroughly enjoy foreplay and oral sex with them, but never liked penetrating them all that much. I find everything about women attractive while on the man front, I love to look at a fit, muscular well groomed male body, but I have never been attracted to the face of any male. The thought of having sex with a man as a female is probably the most arousing fantasy for me, but the thought of kissing or making out with one is very unappealing.  Ha! How is that for weird?

It is almost the same way I feel, so you're not the only one

Nevertheless - I am not trying to put labels on me... I am just trying to figure out what is happening to me and how to proceed with this my new passion...
This thing with the pheromones, I experience it very pronouncedly and even it is rarely happening, there are particular male body odours (not smell & so on), which are starting to drive me crazy and I want to grab that man and take him to the bedroom... The problem is, that I only fantasize about such scenarios, but I am not sure they're aplicable to reality... like I said earlier - I don't know if I will like it for real, because you know - there is a big difference between dreaming and reality

That's why I am looking for other's similar experiences, which can help me understand my situation in a better way.

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

Hi there

Lately I am wondering what is happening with me... I had a girlfriend and I considered myself as bisexual towards lesbian, but it is already a month, after my gf broke with me, also she told me she started dating some guy a week after the break up... It was painful, but also pushed some button in me and now I am becoming much more curious about men...  :roll:
The problem is, that I've never been with a man... didn't even kissed one... I had my crushes, but I was too scared to do something  :roll: 
So, I wanted to ask if someone of you had the same issues and what happened later? Started dating guys...? First kiss... what is the feeling...? Does it feel right or...?

I am just scared, that maybe I am subconciously trying to push myself to be with a man and I am not sure I will like it, although I've dreamed of it so many times... I feel very confused...  :?

Aquerelle,

I just want to validate your experience as someone who's orientation flipped on hrt. I would not have considered myself bisexual before treatment. I was uncomfortable attracted to cisgender women, but exclusively so. The attraction to men, when it came eight months in, was, anatomically speaking, farther north, in the pit of my belly, in the center of my being. Almost painful, but beautifully so. It fluttered and undulated madly. And, for me,  for the first time it felt right.

I went on a dating site in mid June of 2013 (where I didn't disclose being trangender), began conversing with a man (told him in the first message back to him) and had a date with him July 1 of last year. Like you, I was scared of what it would be like to touch him or have him touch me. I had seen pictures he had taken of himself on beach vacation a couple of weeks before and thought, "Can I really touch a hairy chest?" (For the record, the answer is an enthusiastic "yes.")

But once on the date, I felt like falling into the rhythms of being a woman with a man were quite easy and quite natural. My first kiss, and I remember it vividly in the parking lot of The Container Store near the restaurant where we ate and the outdoor mall we walked around afterwards, felt so wonderful.

Waiting to be kissed, I discovered, is not a passive role at all, just a more subtle mix of inviting eyes, soft touches, and leanings that signal the go-ahead for men. The first kiss with men, likewise, involves a similar take and give. He establishes the kiss, and the woman gently asserts her presence back to him. I felt like I knew instinctually exactly when and how to touch a man's neck or the back of his head gently and sense when to open my eyes to take in his gaze. It's sweet and hot all at once. So, yes, if you're into fellas, if will feel right.

And that's the great thing about transitioning: we have discovered who we are. We no longer have to hide, even from ourselves. If something doesn't feel right, we simply don't have to do it.

[@Diana]

first off, you ever noticed any boys around you that looks like he's interested in you ? if yes, are you interested in him as well ? if yes, why not let him know, give him a sign that you are interested in him as well ?

then see how it goes, take thing slowly .. go with the flow , no need to rush if you dont want to

maybe your first kiss with a man will come soon !

[Ltl89]

I don't know if it's a pheromone thing.  Consider the fact that straight women can look at an image of a guy and feel attraction.  There is no smell or anything, only the image.

I suspect that hormones may play a role in people's switch but a lot of it may come from some internal mental switches too.  Like the idea that your social role is different and that opens doors.  The thing is hrt never worked to change the sexuality of gay people, so I would think the reasoning of these switches would likely lie elsewhere or at least be a mixture of things.  If it is purely hrt, why does it work on us but not gay people?  It's a confusing topic.

Op, go with the flow.  Sexuality is usually seen as a big thing in this world, but it really shouldn't be.  We should all just like who we like and leave it at that.  Straight, gay or bi are just labels to show what your tastes or preferences are.  None are more valid than the other.  Just have fun discovering yourself in the process and be true to your heart.  In any case, your situation seems to be very common in the trans community.  Many start off exclusive lesbian only to turn out bi or even straight. So, I wouldn't worry about it.

[Kylie]

This thing with the pheromones, I experience it very pronouncedly and even it is rarely happening, there are particular male body odours (not smell & so on), which are starting to drive me crazy and I want to grab that man and take him to the bedroom... The problem is, that I only fantasize about such scenarios, but I am not sure they're aplicable to reality... like I said earlier - I don't know if I will like it for real, because you know - there is a big difference between dreaming and reality

First, that kind of sounds amazing!  Second, there is really only way you are finally going to find out whether it is right for you or not  .  Maybe just find a guy and take it real slow, if it begins to feel uncomfortable or unnatural, like Jane said, there is no reason you have to go to the next step with him.  Good luck, and don't hold yourself back from exploring anything you might want!  You have this far, and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled!