Soo ima in a mood.
Not necessarily a bad mood just kinda a weird mood. I'm not sure if its bad or not. I feel crazy atm
Life and everything just seems so funny. Especially mine like just a giant meaningless joke. And I suddenly don't even mind it. It's not that I'm apathetic or in denial I just recognize it, accept it and now I'm laughing at it cause its f-cking hilarious.
I'm an unemployed, self harming anorexic transsexual with a host of mental disorders, no high school diploma, too dumb to get one, no career path. Messed up sense of self and gender identity. Nibody to love or to love me yada yada. All I have is a pretty face really. The whole shebang.
And you know what? That's f@#$ing brilliant. cause it means I can do anything. Anything I want. Because it doesn't matter! I have absolutely nothing to lose right? Nothing to hold onto. Just bad memories and an abysmal depressing future. So i just going to...live life. Go be crazy. Get ->-bleeped-<-ed for cash and get in cars with strangers and be a maniac and laugh at every second of itcause it doesn't matter. So just take those risks cause what's theworse that canhapoen? I make a total ass of myself, I get abused or worse whatever,who cares it doesn't matter.
I'm as free as a human can be. I have nothing to lose and it wouldn't matter if something horrible were to happen me. Not really. Not to anyone. My familywould cry but they'd forget...and be better off tbh.
I'm starting to see what I'm meant for tbh. I keep having these nice ideas of stuff getting better but they don't. Not for girls like me. I ruin everything I touch so I shouldn't have nice things anyway. I'm meant to burn bright and beautiful and burnout. So that's okay. Time to stop fighting destiny. Right?
mod edit: language please
