Being a transgender who wont transition and all.

[Larisa]

It would sure be nice to be born a girl or a boy and know you are boy or girl 100%. I don't get that easy part of knowing your gender all the time. If you met me in public, I appear like a guy and aside form my hair and nails, I don't seem like Im trans. Somedays are easier than others and sometimes I know exactly. I feel like a girl inside and a guy at the same time and sometimes a girl more than a guy. I def have some very girly sides to me. It's not oh Im a girl in a boys body and I dont think that is the only kinda trans. I think in someways feeling that way is easier but I could be wrong. Ive dressed like a girl and a boy. Like right now Ive got my long hair and long nails and Im gonna have a little girly time tonight like paint my nails and other things but Im a non transitional trans. Im doing other things like Im still trying to get the facials, arm hair and chest hair gone and lose weight and other things plus my hair is getting thicker and fuller. I however have my reasons to not transition but somedays im confused about myself. I do know Im a guy and a girl to. People have to be themselves and although confused somedays, maybe Im lucky also to be seeing things from both and girl and guy viewpoint. Im glad I never had my period but also hate having facial hair so ya. I have been told by a friend, a girl I have very sensitive emotions and admit things guys wont normally ever admit due to their macho egos but a boy part, Im total girl crazy for example.Ive been this way my whole life. I knew at 5 I was feeling like a girl and boy but never let anyone know and still basically haven't.

[gennee]

I haven't transitioned but I'm definitely a transgender woman. I've been out as trans for nine years. With each passing year I learn something about gender that I never knew before. What's important is how you want to live your life whether or not you transition. I go through those periods of wanting my journey to progress further. in the meantime I enjoy the moment that I'm in.

[Jess42]

Welcome to the club Larisa. I am trans and am not or haven't yet transitioned. We all have our reasons for not transitioning but mine are starting to get pretty thin. It is definately a dynamic thing and those reasons may disappear. But if not oh well, so far I have been female inside and don't really have too much of a problem on the outside either or so I am told anyway by those closest to me.

[jaybutterfly]

I can understand this sort of feeling. Since I was young I felt I was different, and i knew I couldnt relate to other kids, but boys mostly. As I got older I was always the odd one out with boys an its gotten more obvious. I now have some friends who know about gender issues (one of them guessed I was trans before I even realized what I was experiencing was gender issues haha).

I've not started therapy, I'm not out to family and Im still busy with other things in my life. I have looked into transition but I don't know if transition is the only way I can learn to be happy because as I've gone on, the feelings are manageable to me through regular cross-dressing, spending time with the friends I am out to, wearing make up, keeping my hair and body well groomed and keeping the beard off my face. If I can find someone to talk to about my issues I would like to, because it's interfering with my ability to form close relationships or date other people. I feel caught up in the expectations of needing to 'be a man' when I'm not.

[4736251]

->-bleeped-<-, like many things, is more complicated than it seems.  It isn't just mtf and ftm.  Gender is more of a spectrum.  You can feel masculine, feminine, both, or neither.  You don't necessarily have to transition in order to be considered transgender.  I hope that helped.

[helen2010]

->-bleeped-<-, like many things, is more complicated than it seems.  It isn't just mtf and ftm.  Gender is more of a spectrum.  You can feel masculine, feminine, both, or neither.  You don't necessarily have to transition in order to be considered transgender.  I hope that helped.

Many of us feel a mixture or blend of what may be described as male or female.

Being tg does not mean you are ts and that you will necessarily transition to the opposite gender after a period of time.  You may be non binary.  Engage with yourself, understand and express yourself in your terms. This is a journey but is not necessarily from one binary to another.

A good gender therapist will help you chart your course and develop your narrative

Safe travels

Aisla

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I'm definitely transgender, and transitioning won't be for me.  I might go full time in the future, though.

[barbie]

I do not transition, either. If I want HRT, then it would be purely for feminizing my facial skin.

barbie~~

[Gina Taylor]

I haven't transitioned as of yet, but I've had two people ask me if I'm post or pre op and I figure if I look that good then maybe I don't have to transition.

[Rayne]

You don't need to Transition. And if you are happy not doing so, then I see no reason that you necessarily need to do so. In general just try to do what you feel you need to do. And even all those who are full transgender in that they are of the opposite gender from their body, they may not have always known. And I imagune a huge chunk including me spent many years in denial, and pretending the signs didn't exist. After years of denial seeing what you are in your core isn't easy to do. So don't think you need to transition. Just do what you need to in order to lead a happy life.

[Li]

i agree with Rayne. What ever you need to do to be happy is best. if transitioning doesn't make you happy then don't. its your choice and its something you don't have to do.

[TheQuestion]

I definitely feel that I'm trans and have felt so since I was around five years old.  I've grappled with the idea of transitioning for a long time.  Sometimes I feel feminine and others masculine.  I also worry about passing, so transitioning hasn't been the clear choice for me.  I do hate my body and role in society though. I'm starting to feel as though transitioning, even if just to an extent is the right choice... but I still have no idea really.

[Gina Taylor]

I agree with Rayne as well.

[Patty_M]

"... but I've had two people ask me if I'm post or pre-op..."

Isn't it amazing how acquaintances think that its their right to ask about your genitalia? 

In the past I did give an answer but not anymore. Its simply no one's business except for yours, whoever you sleep with and possibly your doctor.

[Jess42]

"... but I've had two people ask me if I'm post or pre-op..."

Isn't it amazing how acquaintances think that its their right to ask about your genitalia? 

In the past I did give an answer but not anymore. Its simply no one's business except for yours, whoever you sleep with and possibly your doctor.

Exactly how I feel.

I definitely feel that I'm trans and have felt so since I was around five years old.  I've grappled with the idea of transitioning for a long time.  Sometimes I feel feminine and others masculine. I also worry about passing, so transitioning hasn't been the clear choice for me.  I do hate my body and role in society though. I'm starting to feel as though transitioning, even if just to an extent is the right choice... but I still have no idea really.

Really? You can't be serious. If that is you in your avatar I don't think you have anything to worry about passing. I can definately relate but I don't necissarily hate my body or role in society but definately go back and forth and enjoy certain aspects of both. I think I feel more feminine most times than masculine but nature did me pretty good so I can be either or. But it definately is dynamic and changes from day to day as to what I think I need to do. But Patty's right, it ain't nobody's business but your's your partner's and your doctor's.

[TheQuestion]

Really? You can't be serious. If that is you in your avatar I don't think you have anything to worry about passing.

People keep saying that, but I really don't think so.  I'm the tiniest, not even measurable bit under 6'0".  I have a size 7/8 ring finger, but my hands are pretty huge and all bone with very long fingers, a pretty wide palm and veins for days.  I'm a size 10 men's shoe.  My rib cage feels pretty durable, not huge, but certainly out of normal female range.  I'm 150lbs and can get down to 135 with ease, but even still feel like my ribs prevent me from looking "girl thin."  I'm 26 and feel like hormones wouldn't make me look any different at all.  I'd need a bit of FFS and a slight hair transplant.  That's a wig, my hair color, but it's a wig.  I still have a lot of hair, basically a full head, but I've lost a good bit and my hairline has receded a little, so I'd need to hold out for hrt stopping that.  I have not much of a butt and really no hips at all either.  I'd get all the body work I could; I just almost feel like it still wouldn't work.

I don't really feel that I'm good looking, but I've been told otherwise.  I think I may just be over critical.  A few years back I was driving behind my mother and when we spoke again, she told me that since I had shaved and was wearing a knit hat that I was so good looking that you couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl.  That was before I came out and told her, and I wasn't a feminine boy, so she wasn't trying to please me.  Then my aunt a few years back told me not to take it the wrong way, but that I was so good looking that it was almost a shame I wasn't born a girl.  She had no idea that I was trans at all either.  I wasn't grooming my eyebrows or anything in either instance.  I also go out for rides sometimes and drive through major cities on Friday + Saturday nights, stop at red lights, have literally hundreds of people passing by looking right at me within a few feet and I can tell that I pass while driving.  I've even had men (like, college guys) give me looks.  I'm attracted to you looks, not I'm clocking you looks.  I had a homeless guy come up asking for change last time and he took his hat off and bowed to me when asking.  I also once looked over and there were these two girls in the car next to me, one was giving me the finger and I'm pretty sure she was being catty because I was driving a nice car and was heavily made up.  Another time a few girls were standing in front of a club and they looked at me; one of them was just like, "oohhh, look at me," again being catty I guess.  I feel my face is the most feminine thing I have, but I'd still need some work and I think my overall athleticism and length would just be too much.  I don't like this, but I'll go on record saying it's more than likely that I'm one of the top athletes on here.  I'm slim muscle, don't even look muscular, but I for some reason still just look like I could kick your ass.

Thanks a lot though, I really do appreciate comments like that, makes me think maybe I have a chance.  Sooner or later I'll post a full body shot to see what people's opinions are then.  I'm pretty thin, not really bulky, but I still feel I look a bit off.  Thanks again tho, you just earned some points...

[Larisa]

I could pull it off with some work to become a girl fully. I weigh right now a 160 but have weighed at a 145 before and could again with my tummy weight gone mostly. My feet are for size 8 shoes. I have skinny arms and don't want to bulk up. All I'd have to do is permanently remove all facial and body hair, tone my tummy, keep working on my hair as with my vitamins, my hair is all returning again. I'd have to get some jaw work done and I could pass well. I never got a body like all these other guys with 225 pounds or so on. Just knowing this and many other things I haven't written yet, I could become a VERY pretty nearly hot girl and know this just from my blonde wig which brings out the pretty in my face by alot. Ill never transition for again many reasons but I'm flattered and all by the girl I'd look like with some work.

[Kiwi]

I'm a transgender FtM but sadly I will never transition because of my health issues 
I had chemotherapy for a year and half to battle a youth hodgkin's lymphoma. This somewhat weakened my body and even if now I feel relatively well the doctors said my liver couldn't stand any HRT. I know I can't risk my young life again. I have a psychologist to help me accept my condition and I can tell I have a quite good balance now.
What comforts me is that I'm naturally masculine enough to pass, I wear a binder all the time, I keep my hair short and wear male clothes. The real problem is that here in Italy you can't change your ID-card if you don't transition and have sex-reassignement surgery so I will always have problems with my identification...

[Allyda]

I'm a transgender FtM but sadly I will never transition because of my health issues 
I had chemotherapy for a year and half to battle a youth hodgkin's lymphoma. This somewhat weakened my body and even if now I feel relatively well the doctors said my liver couldn't stand any HRT. I know I can't risk my young life again. I have a psychologist to help me accept my condition and I can tell I have a quite good balance now.
What comforts me is that I'm naturally masculine enough to pass, I wear a binder all the time, I keep my hair short and wear male clothes. The real problem is that here in Italy you can't change your ID-card if you don't transition and have sex-reassignement surgery so I will always have problems with my identification...

Hun I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Let us hope that in the future as the world becomes more open, aware, and sympathetic to our situation the laws in Italy will change. In the meantime hun, we all here support you and are here for you if you need us. Here's a super big cyber hug from me to you.

All my best.

Ally

[Missy~rmdlm]

It's a flexible world, really, don't transition unless you have to. Frankly I know of a non-transitioner who went ahead and had SRS. It was right for them.