Wow, I am pretty close to exhausted. It has been six days of living, six days of acceptance, six days of personal growth. I have laughed, cried, made lasting friends, held hands with people I have come to love a great deal. Some are dancing the night away and then having a slumber party to keep the spirit alive for one more night.
I am hoarse, and just too tired. We will wrap up tomorrow morning with brunch, but in a larger sense there will be no ending. Something intangible has happened, something completing and reassuring.
Many, if not the majority of the people here this week are not taking hormones, neither are they living as women full time. For some this is their first time dressing in daylight and in public. Some fraction of these will go on to transition. Some will continue to express femininity as they need to and when they can. All of us realize that this community is special.
Port Angeles is a mill town. Lumber, paper, logging are the principal industries. Somehow the trans community - my community, has been embraced for at least this week every year. We are respectful and are respected in return. Of the thousands of interaction in the bars and shops there were two instances where girls were accosted and made to feel uncomfortable. I was never made to feel unwelcome.
Everyone was read, even some stunning young women who would pass easily at any other time. We were all greeted with kindness. This morning I went to a 7:00 am AA meeting. There were fifty or so people there, two left. I am sorry they did not feel comfortable. The rest embraced me, and seemed happy to have someone to share new stories and perspectives.
I know I have glossed over the specifics of the course work. I haven't touched the local business who set up shop in the hotel for us, for this week. Nails, hair, jewelers, a clothing exchange, even a hatter was there and happy to spend time and energy teaching, training, making us pretty.
My purpose here was not to detail the entire event, but to explore how this felt. Mostly I think, so that I remember. I am beautiful. I am beautiful because a community made a choice to embrace tolerance. I am beautiful because a gathering of people chose to risk much to learn and grow. I am beautiful because tonight I feel beautiful.
I think that from humble beginnings and in small ways the world is changing. At least a piece of the world in the northwest corner of the United States. To this place came people from Canada, England, Iran, and many states. Some for the first time, most as an annual pilgrimage. That I was given the gift of participating is something I will be forever grateful for.
It is my hope that if not here, then somewhere, all who question their identity will find such a place and such a time. I am tired and I am in love.
Agape is the description of what I feel and what I have been shown. Good Night and Pleasant Dreams.
Julie
