My hair hates me

[Edge]

Yes, I'm breaking down and asking for help with hair again. I now know what I want to do with it (an idea anyway) that I know will work, so at least there's that, but in the meantime, it's not cooperating and looks dumb.
Here's the problem: my hair poof out over my ears and curls out at the bottom. To give you an idea, here's picture of someone with hair that does what mine does:

Looks pretty dumb right? Especially since I'm a guy. Straightening it doesn't help. I may be able to have alright looking hair for a few minutes after straightening it, but I'd still have the ends curl out and the poofy bit over my ears comes back as soon as anything makes my hair move.
So for those of who who know something about making hair cooperate, care to share some knowledge? Please and thank you.

(Before anyone says, "But in your pictures, your hair looks fine," I just want to point out that those pictures were taken on particularly good hair days seconds after I had fussed with it for longer than it was worth.)
Also, if there are any tips for how to make hair this length look more masculine that would be appreciated AFTER I get tips on how to make my hair to stop looking stupid.

[immortal gypsy]

Sorry for the late reply ( I was hoping someone would give you better advice then this).  Having hair like yours, (not only would it curl out at the bottom but most times in the same direction grr) I was usually stuck with two choices. Cut short so the hair couldn't curl. Or tie it back while I attempt to grow it longer.

Even today mine can be a problem to straighten at the ends completely,  I was told that it was a weight issue with the hair being lighter at the ends then it is closer to the scalp.

Sorry if it's not the answer you are looking for

[Jess42]

Well Edge, I hate to say it but it sounds like yours is exactly like mine. Long it looks good and short it looks good but I hate it short and anything in between is extrememly unmanagable and awkward. I have tried flat irons and it lasts for maybe five minutes until the humidity works on it. I tried using a chemical relaxer once and that didn't even work with the results I wanted which was smooth and sleek but ended up waving in even more awkward angles. Too afraid to damage my hair to try it again. I just let it do what it wanted to do and finally it's long enough that it actually looks pretty good now. It still looks unruly but a good kind of unruly. Hoe that helps a little.

[big kim]

Lots of hair gel and brushed straight back like Jax in Sons of Anarchy.I did this while growing out my hair from a long DA

[Edge]

lol Thanks, immortalgypsy and Jess. Yeah, that would be my hair in a nut shell. It will look fine once it grows out.
Thanks for the suggestion, kim. Unfortunately, my hair also refuses to stay back no matter how much gel I put in it.

[Jess42]

lol Thanks, immortalgypsy and Jess. Yeah, that would be my hair in a nut shell. It will look fine once it grows out.
Thanks for the suggestion, kim. Unfortunately, my hair also refuses to stay back no matter how much gel I put in it.

Yeah I kind of figured Edge, cause your problem is the exact same problem I had letting mine grow. I gave up and all I would do is wash it, condition it, use frizz serum and gel. When the gel would dry just rough it up a little and let it do it's thing so it wouldn't look stiff and more natural without being frizzy. The frizz is definately the worst part. If you have the patience all those unruly flips and dipsy doodles will eventually grow into curls. It will still be unruly but it will look good.

[Edge]

Oh I know. I used to have long hair. Mine doesn't grow into curls though. It's more wavy/curly/doesn't know what it wants to do. I'm ok with that.

[Jess42]

Oh I know. I used to have long hair. Mine doesn't grow into curls though. It's more wavy/curly/doesn't know what it wants to do. I'm ok with that.

Well, I use the word curls very loosly. Mine is curly in one place, wavy in another and just plain messed up in other places. When it hit theat magical length though I wouldn't trade it for the straightest sleekest hair in the world. Very little work, no hairspray, no combing or brushing other than with my fingers, no static when the air is dry and when its windy, just smooth it down with my hands and I am good to go.

[LivingTheDream]

Sounds like my hair as well...When it was short, everyone loved it, said I had the best, darkest hair they had ever seen. Now that it has grown a few inches it is a mess   . The hair on one side near my ear will twirl around itself and the other side just likes to stick out. The hairs in the back, near the bottom of my neck and upper back area, like to curl up and basically make a lower case l or u. Last Monday had my hair looking nice imo, went to work; 2 hours later it started to rain like a mofo for the rest of the day and it looked like I had an afro...

Grrrrrrr hair! Keeps getting me in trouble at work as well. Can't go on vacation till I get it cut, they said, but that's not gonna happen..I would love to be able to make it look nice and keep it that way, hope one day I can.

[Jess42]

Grrrrrrr hair! Keeps getting me in trouble at work as well. Can't go on vacation till I get it cut, they said, but that's not gonna happen..I would love to be able to make it look nice and keep it that way, hope one day I can.

Yep, had that same problem when I would work normal jobs when I was just out of highschool, actually could have gotten in really gotten in really big trouble. Got fired though instead of arrested. People really don't like being slapped especially backhanded when they give you enough crap that you just can't take anymore. Especially back handed from a 130 pound "sissy" or pretty boy.

Holding your vacation hostage until you get a haircut? Is that even legal or ethical. God it really does seem the more things change the more they stay the same.

[LivingTheDream]

"Derails thread, Sorry"

Well, its complicated at work. I've been there for like 11 years but really I should've quit long ago; it's a ->-bleeped-<-ty low paying job. I stay cuz I'm comfortable there and can get away with lotsa ->-bleeped-<-  and never found enough motivation to look for another place, and the process of doing that and starting over somewhere new is terrifying to me. Been saying for years I was gonna quit but gonna start looking sometime in June for a new place, hopefully one that pays better (can't imagine many that don't lol).

In some ways, people there are kinda "family" like. I'm not really friends with anyone there but after working there for so long with some of the same people, idk there's just sort of a "connection" I feel. My one boss is part bitch and part motherly to me. She's called me her "son" and "husband" before (yuck). When I was feeling really down in March, semi-suicidal, and needed someone to talk to, I asked her and she listened and tried to help. She recently helped me with the new insurance crap and finding me a place to move to. I been thinking bout coming out to her, kept me up a few nights recently thinking about it actually, to explain things since I'm sick of this crap, so that may happen soon, we'll see. Hoping that if/when I do that, she'd be more understanding and perhaps even help me out with things if she's ok with it??

I definitely have a love/hate type relationship with her. I've told her that it was bs that she wouldn't let me go on vacation, I'd only have to take off two days of work ffs. I could even prolly get it covered by someone else; if it was anyone else she'd have no problem with it.

I highly doubt that they would fire me because of it because I do too much for her lol, I'm her bitch at work. Sure they could find someone to do my job but do it as well as me and do all the extra things I do, that'd be very unlikely imo. I give them plenty of reasons to fire me as it is cuz frankly, I don't really care, but they don't cuz I'm too awesome...

"End derail, sorry again"

[Edge]

On the subject of long hair, but a bit of a derailment, I just realized... What do guys tie their hair back with that doesn't look girly and doesn't break? (Not that there's anything wrong with girly. It's just not my aesthetic.) Elastics have a history of getting inescapably tangled (and painful tearing out knots of hair) and/or breaking, but I don't know what else to tie my hair back with.

[LordKAT]

Rubber bands are the worst! Cloth covered hair ties work much better, still some entanglement but not even close to the amount of damage.

[Edge]

I've never used rubber bands, but I can imagine. Hair elastics are meant for hair and they're bad enough. Know where I can find cloth covered hair ties that are more masculine?

[LordKAT]

Not sure really, I have a few plain black ones and haven't found any since. I don't think they would be hard to make though. A regular hair elastic and some black cloth. It looks kind of like a scrunchie when it isn't in use but looks like a black hair tie when you do use it. The cloth feels like t shirt material. I'm guessing so that it has some stretch to it.

[HoneyStrums]

USE a standard hair tie in black?

And FYI my hair is exact same as the pic :/ i think its just what hair does let by its self.

[LordKAT]

USE a standard hair tie in black?

And FYI my hair is exact same as the pic :/ i think its just what hair does let by its self.

These have a cloth cover on that slides, not just a standard hair tie.

[Jess42]

I've never used rubber bands, but I can imagine. Hair elastics are meant for hair and they're bad enough. Know where I can find cloth covered hair ties that are more masculine?

Never use rubberbands for sure. Just a plain black elastic ponytail holder or any color really, other than pink of course. Get a pretty thick one and it shouldn't knot your hair. Also the smaller they are the less you have to pull your hair into them and that also helps from gettng knotted.

You should be able to find them at any store.

[HoneyStrums]

So I edited more than the image. But this Is what I was referring to by a "standard hair tie." Over here this is what most guys use. But I think you would call this a hair elastic, but its covered in cotton a bit like a short elasticated shoe lace conected at the ends.


.

[Edge]

Ok, I'll keep an eye out for smaller, thicker hair elastics. Thanks, everyone.