Hey bros, I wanted to share a story with you...fyi its kinda long...novelish
I was chatting w/ this girl who I told that I'm in the beginning stages of my transition journey. Her curiosity was def peaking & she asked me point blank what does it mean for me to be a man & how am I sure.
First off, I've got legit respect for anyone who trys to understand someone by engaging in questions, not simply judging from a personal perspective. My gut reaction was that while this may seem like a complex question for others, to me the answer was quite simple. Taking away all the external challenges & even some internal, I know in my core I am a man, and a proud one at that. Same as my eyes are brown.
Despite this core understanding, it wasn't as clear to explain to someone who doesn't walk our path. But my ''definition'' on what it means to be a man & complete my transition is similar to oxygen. Its colorless, odorless, non visible but yet absolutely vital for survival & life. It is what it is & its genuine, no matter what or who refutes this.
But ultimately being a good man & a human being comes down to how we treat ourselves & others. Yes we are defined by our gender but our actions also speak very loud, usually louder.
If I wanted to expand on what it takes to be a good man & just a good human being in general I would have to say;
*Someone who lives by a higher purpose & takes a higher path. People will act & think according to their own personal lenses based on their beliefs, insecurities, fears & nature/nurture. We only give our power away when we react to people. I just tell myself its their issues & take the higher road. In the big picture its not about our job, our car, our bank account, our fashion. Its about how we positively impact ourselves, others & this planet.
*Someone who owns their actions, whether good or bad. Taking responsibility means owning up to our actions & behaviors w/ character & honesty. Its about facing the consequences of our actions w/out passing the blame to others. Own it or leave it.
*Someone who is at peace w/ their emotions & has the ability to express them in a healthy way. Under the typical standards of masculinity/manhood, showing emotions & being vulnerable is not usually rewarded nor socially encouraged. But I think it takes genuine strength & character to express your core emotions. Being vulnerable is beautiful...and the water & sunlight we need to grow.
*Someone who is respectful & supportive of equality & uniqueness. We all are special in our own ways & walk our own paths. Differences in people & all beings is about understanding, learning & respecting one's unique differences. we don't judge others by the path we walk, we embrace them for walking on their own path, no matter how different it is from ours.
Just my 2 cents. Curious to know what others think about what it is for them to be a man. What defines you?
