First Date...as MtF....disaster or is it?

[Alaia]

Wow, that guy is an epitome of the the idiom 'grade A douchebag'!

Sorry you had to go through that Mikayla. But I'm impressed how you've maintained your cool and kept your head high. Also, kudos to you for being brave and going out in public for the first time. I guess it's an experience you'll always remember.

Just think when we're all sitting around the fire at trans-camp telling stories and you're like "Oh yeah, well that's nothing, wait till you hear about how bad my first time out was..."  

[immortal gypsy]

Glad to make you laugh. Baby steps, baby steps at least your near a holiday destination so you can grow as quickly as you choose to and hopefully the people you meet to help you grow, are not all locals but workers holiday makers either from South of the Tweed or from Brisbane and further North looking for a relaxing weekend and you wont see them again if they ever call you nasty names

[Kimberley Beauregard]

Wow... That is an ->-bleeped-<-. He deserves karma, seriously. What an awful excuse for a human being. I don't know what to tell you hon. You'll have better days though. *Hugs*

^ This.

But congrats on getting out in public.

[Ms Grace]

Jeez, what a jerk! Glad you're OK and got home and all. My first time out sounds quite tame by comparison.

[Emily.T]

Hi Mikayla I am sorry to hear about your experience no one deserves to be treated like that I hope that he has it come back and bite him in the butt one day but until then your a beautiful woman and deserve to be treated like one, don't let this experience put you off dating not all ppl are like that.

[Elainagirl59]

Sorry to hear about your crappy date.  A few thoughts about internet dating safety.

First date.  Meet in public, and drive your own vehicle. 

As you saw by letting him drive you don't have easy access to transportation.  Say he wasn't the dipstick he turned out to be, but you just had a "guy is bleeh" feeling a half hour into a date.  By having a car you can more easily bail on the date.  By letting him pick you up he knows where you live.  This can also be a problem after the date.... He liked you and you thought he was a turd.  He can more easily pursue/stalk you.

Second thing ... Let your girlfriends know who you are dating ... His phone number, his email,  where you are going, what your schedule is and set up times to check in.  Set a time I will call you/text you.  If you don' t hear from me within a bit of that time call/text me.  You can use these calls to give you an out from a blecch date as well as an unsafe date. 

It is sad but a true fact that we women have to be on guard in all our interactions.

Sending you best wishes for your next "dive onto the dating pool"

Elaina

PS. I was just getting ready to post this.  When I realized/thought about any even better safety factor.  The double date!  Thinking of what your parents would have insisted on for their high school/college age daughter is probably a good thing

[LordKAT]

I'm a tad late but, *hug*.

[Emjay]

Wow, what a complete tool!  I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I *AM* glad you got home safely.  That's quite the first outing, congratulations on getting out!

It's his problem though:  He totally missed out on getting to know you! 

Sending you big hugz!   

[TerriT]

Damn girl, rough night but glad you got through it, not like that jerk who bailed.

[barbie]

I do not think it is a good idea for a m2f transgender to meet alone a person who you knew from the internet. At least, you have better meet him/her accompanied by your close friend.

barbie~~

[Jess42]

*raises scythe* can i reap his soul? what a jerk. you deserve better, so you go girl for just brushing it off and moving on.

Hey, watch it Brianna. I am the true Princess of Darkness, just call me Lillith, Luci or Sweet Beelzubub But seriously Mikayla, any man in his right mind to just leave you sitting there, trans or not is a freakin' idiot. Definately not worth it in the least. What a freakin' loser. Arsehole my butt there are plenty of other names I could call him.

Don't let it get you down. You are beautiful and any guy would be graced and blessed to take you on a date. Just because there is one loser out there doesn't mean that every man is. Get back on that horse girl and ride it sidesaddled proudly.

[mandonlym]

*BIG HUG*

Really sorry to hear about this. You know it's funny. It used to be that my major feeling when I hear stories like this is anger. But now I mainly feel pity for the guy. Mikayla, you get to be who you are and live your life honestly. The guy gets to be someone whose own phobias prevent him from being a decent human being. In the end, people who are honest with themselves get to lead better lives.

[stephaniec]

*BIG HUG*

Really sorry to hear about this. You know it's funny. It used to be that my major feeling when I hear stories like this is anger. But now I mainly feel pity for the guy. Mikayla, you get to be who you are and live your life honestly. The guy gets to be someone whose own phobias prevent him from being a decent human being. In the end, people who are honest with themselves get to lead better lives.

ditto

[MikaylaGC]

Thanks for everyones support  Just a couple of clarifications though, like with the 'self' security side of things. I had his email, his facebook, his home address, his home and mobile number and I was kinda of smart enough to ninja his licence plate details as I got into his car. I admit that yea sure a couple of those details could have been fudged etc. My mum knew I was going out(even though she is in a different state) and I txt her the licence plate number and said I was ok when I arrived at the beach, and she text me back. My flatmate also knew and I told him what time I would be home and all that.....oddly I still ended up home at that time anyway.
But you know what, I like that mothering side that I get from some of you older (god that sounds like such a horrible way to put it...experienced maybe???)ladies its both important and so cute. I mean even though I had some things in place to protect myself yea you're right I need to do more.
It kinda goes back to what I said in my earlier posts. I have missed out on being a teenage girl and all the socialization skills that come with it, and the endless lectures from parents regarding my safety and maybe even some scary/bad experiences that most cis-girls/TG get by socialising at that age. Safety and loser radar is still being developed Remembering apart from a brief and ultimately fail attempt at transitioning at 19(for 3-4mths/self medicated) I am still new to being a 'woman'(if only part time atm) and all the extra stuff that goes with it that unless you live it daily or grew up as that, just are so behind in thought patterns, that me as a 'male' just took for granted.
Life's a journey....

[immortal gypsy]

Good to hear you did your homework first,  I'm a big believer on "it's not paranoia when you know there out to get you". Sadly in today society men do pray on women . But thankfully you survived with a good and hopefully in time humorous horror story to tell around the first date first time out camp fire. As for your radar speak to your friends, flatmate, girlfriends thats what they are for. Usually we find we get better vibes around people when we are not personally involved

[Kyra553]

I've only been on a few outings like this with people I've met and talked with online. They all seem to build up some fake image of who their talking too, no matter what is said to them. You can talk with them for months on all kinds of personal levels and it always seems to result in the same out come as you received from this man. They always act nice...then they just disappear and block you for no apparent reason or explanation.     But don't feel alone, I hear its very common for these things to happen to trans people it seems. I didn't believe it, until I lived through it several times. 

I'm sorry you were abandoned by this un-caring butt hat of a person. You don't deserve this kind of treatment because your a strong woman who deserves love and devotion.

[JessikaBlackMage]

this is why I prefer to date girls. altho I am not attracted to guys anyway so that's probably why too.

[Umiko]

this is why I prefer to date girls. altho I am not attracted to guys anyway so that's probably why too.

I know right. Most guya now a days are jerks or only wanna get into your pants than leave you out to dry. But there are the rare good ones though but they are either gay or taken ._.

[Emily.T]

I would have to agree girls do care more about you as a person not just for what you have to give them stuff the guys who needs them.

[JessikaBlackMage]

I know right. Most guya now a days are jerks or only wanna get into your pants than leave you out to dry. But there are the rare good ones though but they are either gay or taken ._.

that or really far away. there are some guys I could see myself with but they live on some other planet and I have no starship.