How to look your age???

[SI3]

I know this has probably been done before and I apologize if so, but I really need help with this.

I'm 21 years old (almost 22) and almost a year and a half on t. I'm only 5'6 and t has done 0 for me in the facial hair department except for some recent chin hairs and the typical teen dirt stache.

I understand everyone changes at their own pace and the hair isn't so much my problem as is the fact that I am constantly read as a highschooler. I work in fast food (which probably doesn't help) and am constantly being bombarded with assumptions about my age by customers and co-workers.

I'm tired of hearing "oh but when you're 30 you'll enjoy it" I am seriously tired of not being respected or having people make flash judgments based on their perception of me as a "young man."

I am worried about my ability to get a career, apply for jobs, etc. While I may not be on the route for a professional career at the moment I am looking to do so sometime soon in the future and I don't want to lose opportunities because of this.

Also I already have -100 confidence when it comes to dating. Having only middle schoolers interested in me is not helping.

Any advice about making self appear older both when able to choose my dress style and when unable (work uniform) would be much appreciated.

[aleon515]

It can take 5 or more years to get facial hair. I'd say the best you can do is dress and act the part-- more adult hair style. (Look at guys who are in their 30s for this. Okay I'm older than 30 but I have kind of the Anderson Cooper type hair, with more hair. LOL. Or a fade without the extreme look.) Also button downs, as older guys wear those and go for khaikis, dockers, and if you wear shorts bermuda length. No cut offs.  I know you'll complain that older guys wear hair like you do (you just did) and t-shirts and so on. But you are trying to get read as older as you are. If I wear t-shirts and so on, you might say I am trying to get read as younger.

I know a very young guy who goes everywhere in a tie.

Self confidence helps as well.

I won't say any of that stuff because it doesn't help, but it is darn true. NO ONE but no one reads me as my age.

--Jay

[SI3]

Thanks for the advice. I will try the haircut out (its already shorter than in the above pic) My big issue is at work where I wear a hat and uniform, it's hard to adjust my appearance

[Ryan55]

 I had a guy at work today go "you work here? you look 15 boy" it was great cause I passed but I passed as a 15 yr old boy when i'm really 23 lol, I found it kind of funny actually, i know it can take a lot of time to grow facial hair, so patience I guess, but i get you, i want to look my age too

[Rawb]

Ohh man, I feel your pain.
I'm 29, and I get hit on by 16-year-old high school girls.  It's so embarrassing  -_-;;

[StirfriedKraut]

Comes down to how you present yourself a bit. It's very unfortunate you don't have much growth yet but how you talk, how you position yourself, all of it plays in to how people read your age.

I'm 24 and a manager at a tool store. I have older gentlemen coming and most assume I'm a teenager between 16-19 but I do get a lot of "Why thank you sir!" and "oh you know how it is, wife's naggin me". Which is cool. I tend to talk to people using as little slang / casual wording as possible and get right tot he point of things. When I go out I try to push out my shoulders and wear nice dressy-ish wear so I look more I guess achieved. I've met a few bio males that are 23-25 who have minimal facial hair and are quite small stature and i tell them the same thing, haha.

That's about all you can do though. Overall it's just really annoying to be treated like a child, but I personally am okay with it as long as I'm being treated like a man.

[ataraxiamachine]

I've got about a decade on you, in years, and I'm not yet a year on T.  I'm lucky to pass 100% of the time, but there are those odd moments that I realize, like you said, that I'm passing as a much younger guy.  There's a group of (I swear they gotta be) junior high-high school girls who must LIVE at the mall in my town, because they're there every time I go in, trying to make conversation and being flirty.  I've got a kid in the seventh grade.  It's awkward.  Last weekend I went into the big liquor store in town to get a few four-packs of a particular craft beer and the kid at the register (I know he's only about 23 because I was in there once with a friend, pre-t, and he gave his age in conversation) looks at me and says, "okay, kid, let me see your ID."  Geez.  Alright.  That's the way we're going to play?

There's not much you can do, or much that I've found to do, other than dress impeccably and be man enough to laugh it off.  Your job strips you of dress, which sucks, but the confidence you'll gain by looking sharp and being taken more seriously in your everyday life will pay off when you're standing there being talked down to by some ->-bleeped-<- who's got something to prove, and is bound and determined to attempt to prove it at your expense.  Also: don't be tempted to let the dirt-stache grow hoping it'll look like stubble.  It never does.

[aleon515]

I'm 24 and a manager at a tool store. I have older gentlemen coming and most assume I'm a teenager between 16-19 but I do get a lot of "Why thank you sir!" and "oh you know how it is, wife's naggin me". Which is cool. I tend to talk to people using as little slang / casual wording as possible and get right tot he point of things. When I go out I try to push out my shoulders and wear nice dressy-ish wear so I look more I guess achieved. I've met a few bio males that are 23-25 who have minimal facial hair and are quite small stature and i tell them the same thing, haha.

I think that's a good idea. I think older guys are going to use a less slang and very casual speech. Also being more polite.

Yes, I don't know what you do about a Macky Dee uniform. Because that's what it is. Everyone thinks that almost all teenagers work there. Haven't been in one for a long time, but I am pretty sure this is not the case anymore.

--Jay

[SI3]

I've got about a decade on you, in years, and I'm not yet a year on T.  I'm lucky to pass 100% of the time, but there are those odd moments that I realize, like you said, that I'm passing as a much younger guy.  There's a group of (I swear they gotta be) junior high-high school girls who must LIVE at the mall in my town, because they're there every time I go in, trying to make conversation and being flirty.  I've got a kid in the seventh grade.  It's awkward.  Last weekend I went into the big liquor store in town to get a few four-packs of a particular craft beer and the kid at the register (I know he's only about 23 because I was in there once with a friend, pre-t, and he gave his age in conversation) looks at me and says, "okay, kid, let me see your ID."  Geez.  Alright.  That's the way we're going to play?

There's not much you can do, or much that I've found to do, other than dress impeccably and be man enough to laugh it off.  Your job strips you of dress, which sucks, but the confidence you'll gain by looking sharp and being taken more seriously in your everyday life will pay off when you're standing there being talked down to by some ->-bleeped-<- who's got something to prove, and is bound and determined to attempt to prove it at your expense.  Also: don't be tempted to let the dirt-stache grow hoping it'll look like stubble.  It never does.

Thanks for the advice, that must suck having to deal with that while being older than myself. I don't try to grow the dirtstache because I know the only people I see with it are teen boys which I'm trying to avoid being read as.

[Felix]

I often get treated as a peer by local highschoolers and college kids (I'm 33) and all I can do is echo the advice to dress conservatively when possible, keep your head hair as businesslike as you can, and don't use cutting-edge slang. And follow your instincts about removing inadequate facial hair. I get treated as my proper age way more when I'm not lazy about shaving.

Also yeah definitely be aggressively confident in laughing off/shooting down comments or insinuations about how young you look. Even if that doesn't convince anyone, it ends speculation and helps you feel better.

[xsmittyx]

Ah it's a blessing and a curse; I'm 44 and folks often think I'm in my 20s

[Hex]

Yup same issue here too. 27 and even my husband said I look like a teenager at times. I've actually noticed that if I stick my jaw out a little bit and tilt my head a certain way, pick up my shoulders a bit and try to actually stand straight I look more closely to my age. So It's been kind of a task to try and remember to do all of this in a social setting but I figure if I do it enough times on que it'll just become the norm for me and help at least with my posture haha.

But as others suggested, clothes, hair and the way you carry yourself really do make a difference even if you think you have a bit of a baby face and little to no facial hair. Just takes time sadly. Even if time is what we all hate the most.

[Kreuzfidel]

Sometimes there really just isn't much you can do if you've pulled out all the stops (like the others have suggested in regards to body language and haircuts, etc.).  Like xsmittyx, I'm 35 and get read as early 20s.  I just make jokes about it and nobody seems to think much of it after the initial "OMG you're 35?!?!?".

[Ayden]

Sometimes there really just isn't much you can do if you've pulled out all the stops (like the others have suggested in regards to body language and haircuts, etc.).  Like xsmittyx, I'm 35 and get read as early 20s.  I just make jokes about it and nobody seems to think much of it after the initial "OMG you're 35?!?!?".

I'm close to 27 and no matter what I get read as younger. I've had mothers of my students tell me "where's the teacher, young man?" And "you're 26?! Really?!" After a certain point all you can do is just be yourself. I've had to pull out ID more times that I ever did as female. Look at how men in their 30s dress. I dress a lot like Hugh Darcy (will graham) from Hannibal, I still get questioned. I just look young.

[Ayden]

Hugh Dancy*. The forum won't let me edit for some reason.