I was/am very hesitant to start dating and making myself (selectively) publicly available. I gave in and joined OkCupid and Paiq (dutch only I think) yesterday
Tried Paiq first which works on a matchmaking system without seeing each others profile .
I'm chatting with a girl from my area and while the photo's werent visible at first they slowly become visible. The anxiety shoots through the roof : I didnt expect this! I just want to chat and share things much more gradually.
The damage is done. My picture (and hers) are visible. I need a minute to consider keeping chat alive or quietly quit
I'm thinking ..."Too early, why did I sign up for this...I'm not ready"
Our chat went on and on about 'days of our lives' things
Today she contacts me again. We start to get more in detail about our ideal partners and things we enjoy in our time. I am trying to think of a way to get my 'identity' in the conversation without it being a shocker. Hours pass (I was mostly just facebooking away with others) and I say "Well I have problems just like you, just different" She asks what they are so I try to explain. She seems to understand it and mentions my photo (You can see it in the MtF Fabulous thread, or go through my post history)
Translated roughly "When I saw your photo I had a hunch but I wasn't sure. What if I was wrong?"
Sure, I wasnt happy with that answer (Passing is my #1 issue) but she didnt seem upset or relieved, just liked the fact we had fun chatting (so far)
I already knew she wanted to be romantically involved with (femme) men and sexually with women early on so RL dating is probably not going to happen regardless because I want a relationship.
Perhaps we end up friends, which is a sigh of relief after 2 days of new anxiety and doubt
Vivien
