Stalker before transitioning

[staypositive1]

Maybe not this relevant to being transgender, but I'm having a problem with a stalker I got 4 years ago, where he's been really harrassing, and just being a plain ''psycho''.

The problem is that he keeps sending me texts that if they are not something offensive, it's ''I love you, we are going to be married, no matter what", with no reason to do so, because I've never done anything to make him like this.
(I block him from every site he contacts me from, but he just keep making new profiles to contact me.)

So I thought that me being 1st) a lesbian, 2nd) an ftm and all, and ''transitioned'' through the years, would definately scare him off by now, but he is still writing to me and all my friends that ''I'm just faking everything for attention, I'm still 'the straight girl' like I was when he talked to me when I was 15" (yeah, totally), and just being a direct disrespectful ->-bleeped-<-...

I don't know what to do about him anyone, he just wont leave me alone.
And I don't know if you can help or not, but I just feel like punching his face in.
Any tips?

[LordKAT]

Have you ever replied by stating that he can quit or you will sue for harassment? Whether or not you do, it sometimes works.

[staypositive1]

Yes, he just acts offensive, and tries to justify why I can't ''state'' that, because he has done nothing wrong.
I'm the one who's been rude.
Soo.. bleh... he's pretty much sending me a lot of bad energy all the time. It's like he's a constant reminder how much I hate something, so... it sucks having him there.

[defective snowflake]

A lot of places have added cyber stalking laws. You may want to check with the police/sheriffs where you live.

[Asche]

If he were a RL stalker, you could get an Order of Protection against him (well, in the USA, at least.)  This can include forbidding him to communicate with you in any way.

Does anyone know if this can be done if you are in (USA) State A and he is in State B?

(A good question for misc.legal)

[Ms Grace]

People like this guy are obsessives with major mental health issues, potentially dangerous if provoked in specific ways. If you lived in my home state in Australia is say get an apprehended violence order against him requiring him to leave you alone. Don't know if they have similar where you live? At least you know who he is, that makes notification and identification easier. I'd suggest keeping a record of all contact from him: when, what, your response (if you do) etc.

[Asche]

People like this guy are obsessives with major mental health issues, potentially dangerous if provoked in specific ways.

Warning: tangent and possible rant

I'm not comfortable with assuming that this person has "mental health issues."  It conflates bad behavior with actual, diagnosed or diagnosable mental illnesses.  He may just be someone who has discovered he can violate the OP's boundaries without any negative repercussions.  IOW, a self-centered jerk (there's a more appropriate word, but I'm not sure it's allowed on this site.)  He's gotten away with it this long, why should he stop now?  We don't assume that anyone who robs a bank must have "mental health issues," after all.

The sad fact is, men harrassing women (and I gather Mr. Stalker still sees the OP as a woman) is quite normal and to a large extent socially approved of in Western society.  (Typical reaction: "you should be happy that he likes you.")  As for the potential of violence: I don't know how it is in AU, but here in the US, men killing (or trying to kill) wives, girlfriends, exes, objects of fixations, etc., who fail to do what they want is too depressingly common -- and socially approved in many subcultures here -- to count as "mental illness."

I'm a little sensitive to this since, here in the USA, we just had Yet Another mass shooting by someone who believed he had not gotten what he was entitled to (mainly nookie on demand, despite his being obviously creepy), and the talking heads are describing him as "mentally ill" and saying how we need to scrutinize the mentally ill more closely.  Rupert Murdoch's hate network in a typical display of rationality is claiming it's because he is supposedly gay(!) AND mentally ill.  This despite the fact that every study of violence and the mentally ill shows that the mentally ill are somewhat _less_ likely to be violent than those with no such diagnosis (but much more likely to be victims.)

end{rant}

[Ms Grace]

One way or the other the guy has some kind of issue, staypositive needs to be careful of his safety. :-/

[crowcrow223]

I kind of want to see his face when he sees you after the T does it work lol, then he'll believe you. But of course, as everyone else mentioned, if things get worse, and he is dangerous, tell the police. Good luck!

[staypositive1]

Haha, yes.
Eventually, I can rape him with a 20'' dildo in his ass, because I would be bigger than him

But I told him one last time now about the police stuff now, so I'm hoping it works.