why do we only understand or own discrimination?

[Natkat]

I am going to give my first education lection about norms, priviliges and such things next week on a school.
the goal is to prevent discriminations and hatecrimes for minoritys by learning students from a young age to notice the unwritten rules in the norms and difficulties for those who don't fit with those.

it will be my first time but my partner have been out there a few times before,
while dicussing about difficulties in educating, she mention a guy from her last lesson,
which was very interesteed in race issues and the discrimination based on race. yet he was very homophobic
and he couldn't get to see that the type of discrimination based on race is as unacceptable as for sexuality.

the goal is to make people notice that this discrimination, whenever its for race, gender, sexuality or other things is bad, but I do wonder if I get in the same situation (and I probably will) how I will go to explain this in a simple way.

being honest race and sexuality for exemple is very diffrent even when the discrimination in many ways are simular, but even for more simular groups theres still alot of discriminations, Exemple the discrimination on bisexual from gay men, or femenine gay men from maculine gay men. Discrimination on mtf from ftm, trasexuals discrimination gender-queers, and so on so

Why is it that even within our own comunity we often complain about certain discriminations while doing the same to people even almost identical to our issues?

[suzifrommd]

I have to admit to being baffled by the concept as well. African-American churches were home to a lot of the opposition to the marriage equality bill that passed here a couple years ago.

I've seen what you do. Even in these forums, there is a lot of disparagement of people who's queerness isn't exactly like ours. My profile in the lesbian section of a dating site only started getting replies when I removed the word "transgender" (but made no other changes).

Might be that people don't see it as hate when it's coming from them. They might think "I don't hate trans women, I just don't find them as attractive." "I'm not prejudiced against gay people, I just don't want them changing the definition of marriage." "I've got no problem with with crossdressers, but how can they call themselves trans."

[FTMDiaries]

I honestly believe discrimination is simply a type of bullying behaviour. Bullies tend to target one specific person and pick on them, and it's usually somebody they consider to be weaker than themselves. Discriminating against a demographic group is (in my opinion) a large-scale form of bullying, because you're picking on a whole group of people as your target rather than just one specific individual... but the mindset and behaviour is the same. You see them as weaker, so you try to strengthen your own position by pushing them further down.

People who have been picked on by bullies can respond in one of two ways when they finally find themselves in a position of power: either they'll remember what it felt like to be downtrodden and will be compassionate towards those in a weaker position; or they'll attempt to get some sort of psychological 'revenge' against those who used to bully them by picking on people they see as being weaker. This might explain why certain groups who have been historically disadvantaged start picking on other people outside their own group.

That's human society. Somebody has to be at the top, somebody has to be at the bottom, and the rest of us scrabble for a place somewhere in the middle.

Ugh. Identity politics makes my head hurt. 

[Nero]

I have to admit to being baffled by the concept as well. African-American churches were home to a lot of the opposition to the marriage equality bill that passed here a couple years ago.

Yeah, a lot of hatred of LGBT comes from religion. Ironically, the same religion that slaveholders once used to justify everything from taking slaves from their homelands (we're doing the heathens a favor; this way they will know God) to beating them.

Nowadays, it seems that the difference is what people are perceived to be able to 'help' and what they're not. Obviously race and other visible factors are born. But so many still think LGBT 'conditions' can be cured. That the person chose this or has a sickness. And religion is probably the most powerful discriminatory tool. Make people believe their God says a thing is evil, and it's very hard to get around.

[Olivia P]

What I've seemed to notice is that western culture as a whole puts nowhere near enough focus onto the cultivation of mindfulness, compassion, understanding and empathy. And I suspect if it did, people would be more likely to understand others discrimination more often.

Culturally far eastern countries have more focus on these qualities due to how those countries were affected by the rise of the Buddhist lifestyle over 2500 years ago, although I have no direct knowledge of how deeply that has affected life today in countries with a strong Buddhist history.

I do think the bad history of things such as the Inquisition and the slave trade has left behind negative attitudes and views that could partially be to blame as well, bad history has a way of corrupting the future until the majority of the population affected by it has accepted that history, come to terms with it, made relevant apologies and made efforts to undo damage caused to the culture and lifestyle of that population.

[Natkat]

Yeah, a lot of hatred of LGBT comes from religion. Ironically, the same religion that slaveholders once used to justify everything from taking slaves from their homelands (we're doing the heathens a favor; this way they will know God) to beating them.

i'm not worried about religion. its in general a non-religious country, and religion are hardly seen are good aguments, even if it will come up then we are not really allowed to talk much about it in school, so I would tell the student its interesting and if they want to know more about norms and religion then we got another group which got expertise in these topics but we dont educate on such issues .

I fear nationalism and pinkwashing way more. Pinkwashing because many people are teach how extremly "good our little country is, and how open-minded we are, which somethimes can be a barricade when we speak of discrimination.

I also hear that agument, that the gay rights is always presenting but not the racism. I also feel
its a good point there both pretty important, but also the fact that there usunally seperated issues are problematic. the gay comunity have problems with racism, and if you see pictures of something promiting gay rights its usunally 2 white goodlooking guys. the guy of any race feeling discriminated is on the other hand obviously NOT an LGBT person, so we belive. this is sure also a problem in the sociaty and it may/may not be
a bigger problem with the rising of nationalism in Europa.

[HoneyStrums]

Discrimination, Is the opposite of privilege.

With privilege we often take it for granted, and it goes un noticed. except when other in a less privileged position point it out to us.
Discrimination is the opposite it is something we notice happening to us and not others. Others cant see it, so we have to point it out to then instead.
I often see, the words "race is not sex" used when ever somebody uses a racial example to explain a similar situation regarding sex discrimination. But when one focuses on sex and or race, and take that into the equation it takes weight away from what discrimination is, which is treating somebody in a negative and hurtful way, because they are different to you I either one way or another or multiple ways.

The truth of it is, if it isn't happening to us we don't notice it. We become blind to it, and don't need to do anything about it for self preservation. The cause of the discrimination becomes the focus, a minority race only needs to combat racism to be happy. Once the racial issues are addressed no more discrimination no problem. And its the same with sexism too. Treating people different and negatively can go right down to hair colour, yes blonde and ginger.

When you get right down to it, the scale might be different, but the principle behind it is the same. From what I have seen and have gained from my own failings is, I've learned that when you just focus on what a person does instead of why a person does it, you will make a lot of mistakes. Even when you focus on why you will still make mistakes, but it is easier to spot wear you go wrong.

EDIT- A lot of the failing within religion is misinterpretation, people tend to focus on what the people in the stories do and not why. They also take every facet within these stories as truth. However time and time again in religious books it points out humanity can fail even as a religious nation. They speak of false preaching, misinterpretation and a lot of other things in there that are there to teach you to doubt religion and to make your own choices, because following in the footprints of another can lead you to fail unknowingly. However despite these teachings most churches claim to have it right this time and to not need to take that lesson. But thinking like this means they will continue to get it wrong and believe they are right, unless a prophet comes and spanks them.

[Klaus]

I think the actor-observer bias is at work when it comes to double standards between marginalized groups. When we see another person doing or being something we have already decided we don't like, we're far more likely to determine that the action is a result of their personality and active choices rather than their circumstances (hormones, genetics, etc). On the other hand, when we do something, we're far more likely to attribute the action or state of being to our circumstances and not to see it as the result of a character flaw or choice. This at least partially explains why some radical feminists, for example, are able to correctly attribute their own sexuality to concrete factors that they did not choose, but then turn around and accuse a transgender male of "choosing" his condition. It goes in the opposite direction as well, but this is just the type of discrimination I've had first-hand experience with.

Nowadays, it seems that the difference is what people are perceived to be able to 'help' and what they're not. Obviously race and other visible factors are born. But so many still think LGBT 'conditions' can be cured. That the person chose this or has a sickness. And religion is probably the most powerful discriminatory tool. Make people believe their God says a thing is evil, and it's very hard to get around.

I think you hit the nail on the head here. It would certainly explain why many people who genuinely do not believe they're racist are against interracial relationships, because they believe the person can and should "help" who they fall in love with.