Sinking

[PoeticHeart]

I know this story isn't unique.

I just feel... stuck? There are so many things I want to do with my life. With most of them, there is either something preventing me or I'm afraid to move. Even if I could start HRT, I don't know if I would just yet. I live in a rough part of town, so a lot of days I'm afraid of being assaulted simply for being 'gay'. People at my job seem to tolerate me as 'gay' (I put it in apostrophes because I present as male and this is how the world understands me), but I'm not so sure how they'd feel about a trans person. I'm afraid to risk that job because those twenty hours per week are all that is sustaining my husband and I. Perhaps when he can help support us, I'll be less afraid of the finances? I want to scream because I'm so ready to just move but I feel like there are a million forces working to keep me stuck.

/end emotional rant.

[Jessica Merriman]

Rant away anytime sweetie! Just now there ARE people out here who care. I hope things improve quickly. 

[stephaniec]

maybe just take your time until things improve . It took me a long time to find that transition was possible.

[Aina]

I know this feeling all to well. I've made decent steps in the direction I want to go. However only a few close friends know about my desires to transition ect.

I think I am mainly waiting to finish college before I do anything to big, since I only have a small part time job, car payments, college bills ect to pay for and I am afraid how things might turn out if I move to soon and quickly.

My best advice is try to make a plan, even if it falls apart as you go it may guide you on a path that may work. At the very least it can keep your mind busy.

[LordKAT]

Supporting 2 people on a part time job is very difficult and I can understand why you don't want to risk losing it. I take it you are not in a state with transgender protections. Even if you were and felt iffy about your job, I can understand. Is your partner looking for work?

Perhaps you can do some small things that are at least heading you in the right direction. Clothing and therapy at least. I don't know what kind of job you have but if you don't have uniforms, can you at least dress comfortably?

[PoeticHeart]

Supporting 2 people on a part time job is very difficult and I can understand why you don't want to risk losing it. I take it you are not in a state with transgender protections. Even if you were and felt iffy about your job, I can understand. Is your partner looking for work?

Perhaps you can do some small things that are at least heading you in the right direction. Clothing and therapy at least. I don't know what kind of job you have but if you don't have uniforms, can you at least dress comfortably?

I'm in a state where there are no LGB protections, so there are certainly no T protections. My partner is disabled and we are working with a lawyer to win his case. That will take several months though, as the process is not easy and very drawn out.

My job does have uniforms but they are loose enough. I have a dress I've bought and I adore it and I'm working slowly towards getting more. Therapy -- It's a somewhat likely option at this point. I know I need to go through therapy for more than just my gender issues, so I'll be there at some point.

[LordKAT]

You should qualify for aid and they will cover a therapist.