The need to prove your manliness?

[CursedFireDean]

I've noticed something I've had issues with recently- my transition kind of came to a sudden halt because I'm having a ton of trouble getting my parents to use the right name and pronouns. I just had to go on a humiliating dress hunt for graduation (the dressing room ladies kept asking if I was looking for my mom and I had to say they were for me) and now I feel the need to do something really manly. Every time I'm forced to be a girl, afterwards I really want to do something manly. I know I don't have to prove myself but in a way, that's how I feel- that I need to reassure myself that I'm a man.

[AdamMLP]

I've not had the need to prove my manliness so much, probably because I've not had to have any awful experiences like that for a long time, but after so long being called by my birthname and seen as a female I always have to hide away with someone who knows that I'm male.  I always felt that going to see my girlfriend was like "resetting" my emotions and dysphoria.

[Ryan55]

I feel ya, I get like that too, my family has issues with pronoun and the right name, so it sucks, but i notice when i'm with friends who do use it right or even come on here, I feel better. I def try to be more manlier though when my dysphoria acts up or i'm stuck having to deal with "girl ->-bleeped-<-"  cause I dont want people seeing me in that way and it sucks, going to the gym helps me or ill play a video game and kind of get lost in that world where I feel like a guy, I think its common, its like we have to prove, we are men, hopefully it gets easier as we transition more. I wish I had better advice for you but I def get where your coming from

[Daydreamer]

I remember that a while back. I just got released from the hospital and I got barked at by someone for not pulling a box around for them (bear in mind I had just gotten back from a severely stressful family trip that was nothing but dysphoria and pronoun problems) and was told if I "wanted to be a man then I'd do manly things". They proceeded to call me a dyke and went on their way. That's love for you, huh.

But since then, I haven't had an instance of needing to prove a thing.

[ReubenIsTheName]

My parents don't even use the right pronouns, and they don't even know my new chosen name. I get so annoyed when they refer to me as "daughter" and "she." I haven't expressed my concerns to them, as it wouldn't help anything, only make things worse. I just have to bare through it.

But, I do get what's you're feeling, too. I'll go play video games, etc., and the other day, I went and bought some more boxers and boxer briefs to (perhaps) prove my manliness to myself.

The dress shopping sucks though, man. I haven't been in that situation in years, and certainly for my birthday this Friday, I won't be wearing a dress again. I hope I never have to wear a dress again. Or makeup. But, my transition hasn't gone past changing my underwear and cutting my hair even shorter, really. That's all I can really do right now. Makes me so mad though!

[CursedFireDean]

But, I do get what's you're feeling, too. I'll go play video games, etc., and the other day, I went and bought some more boxers and boxer briefs to (perhaps) prove my manliness to myself.

The dress shopping sucks though, man. I haven't been in that situation in years, and certainly for my birthday this Friday, I won't be wearing a dress again. I hope I never have to wear a dress again. Or makeup. But, my transition hasn't gone past changing my underwear and cutting my hair even shorter, really. That's all I can really do right now. Makes me so mad though!

I definitely understand the buying boxers/boxer-briefs, that's one thing I'll do when I get upset. I have so much more underwear than I need XD
Hopefully May 18th will be the last time in my life I'll ever wear a dress. I'm going to buy my first blazer sometime this week or next week, so I'll be wearing that from then on.

[MacG]

I definitely understand the buying boxers/boxer-briefs, that's one thing I'll do when I get upset. I have so much more underwear than I need XD

Me, too, me, toooo. But I just love them.

[Edge]

I don't feel I need to prove manliness exactly, but whenever people tell me or assume I'm effeminate, I get frustrated. There's nothing wrong with being an effeminate guy, but they're only calling me that because they're ignoring a good chunk of my personality and basing it mannerisms I hate because I picked them up for the mask and my appearance which I can't help.

[ReubenIsTheName]

Hopefully May 18th will be the last time in my life I'll ever wear a dress. I'm going to buy my first blazer sometime this week or next week, so I'll be wearing that from then on.

That's awesome, dude! I wear men's dress shirts and a tie whenever I have to dress up now. Been that way for a while. My only dress that fits has been stuck at the very back of my closet.

[Kiwi]

I definitely understand the buying boxers/boxer-briefs, that's one thing I'll do when I get upset. I have so much more underwear than I need XD

Same here!  When I feel down and particulary disphoric I like to go buy some cool underwear.

I like to prove my manliness when I can, it makes me feel more confident. When I'm between men I usually want to be stronger than them 

[Felix]

I went through some of that when I was earlier in transition, especially after dealing with certain people who just refuse to accept who I am. I would try to make up for the humiliation by being extra stoic about problems and aggressive in play, and I often ended up adding injury to insult. Sometimes it was worth it though.

One of the things that is nice about getting further in and having a deep voice and the right name and all is that people who continue to misgender you look even weirder than they did to begin with. Most people, even family, eventually let it go and switch to more sensical names and pronouns.

[Rawb]

I cope by shaving my face and/or working out.
Shaving is super manly, and it's fairly productive to push all that unhappy energy into doing something useful that actually works toward my goal of being a hot guy.

[Taka]

i don't think of that as "proving" one's manliness. i need some balance in my life, i've discovered. and that is something i manage to keep by wearing men's wear the day after i've worn a dress. i don't do it in order to prove anything, but in order to balance out my gender expressions. for me, being the weirdo that i am, it also works the other way. if i've worn boring men's wear for too long, i'll just love to put on a pretty dress and some makeup.

but there are some things that i can't change too easily, like most of my body. when that gets too frustrating, i cut and dye my hair. making a visible physical change helps get rid of the worst frustration, and it takes about the time between two haircuts before it starts getting bad again.

will be interesting to see if that changes if i can get my top fixed...

[Erik Ezrin]

Aye, definitely recognisable. My parents have a real hard time switching name and pronouns too... and I just tend to lurk in my room and play video games or listen to loud rock music when I feel crap. Or work out, cause it gives me an angry kind of energy that makes me want to move and kick things and make myself tired, yknow.
Also when I am around friends that see me as male I instantly talk slower, lower and more monotone, and try to act more manly. Not always in a good way, like just being an unrefined jerk (burping, cursing, saying lots of crap about women. I try to avoid it, cause that is not like me at all. I am just soft, and nice, and creative, and I am a 'male feminist' and see women as equals), sometimes trying to be 'strong' and impress people. Just carrying something a lil bit too heavy, or competing with other guys with like... everything. I push it a little too far for myself often, cause I am weak and wimpy and feel the need to 'prove' I am manly too sometimes.

[randomroads]

Lately I've been feeling like I need to pose and posture around other men. I think a lot of it has to do with finally being accepted as the person I really am, and trying to find a niche that I fit into. I've just been keeping my mouth shut and not making a fool of myself. I'm hoping this passes without me having to act like someone I'm really not in order to find my way.

Lots of confusion that actually makes sense, but is still confusing.

[Tysilio]

My partner's moving in with me, after 7-8 years of our living separately (), and our nephew has been helping us haul boxes and move furniture. I realized that I was trying to compete with him, which was pretty silly: he's 35 and can deadlift 500 lbs. I ended up deciding that it would be sufficient proof of my manliness if I just kept going and didn't poop out.