So,
As you can guess once again I found myself in a spot of doubt. I'm usually sure that god has my back in my transition and my self doubt has a lot to do with that. I always say to people, don't assume your right and not above being wrong. And the following text I hope will explain why. So whilst praying tonight I gave thanks for my family and friends and Christ, I confessed my doubt of Jesus's physical existence, but acknowledged that I cannot doubt Christ's spiritual existence, given that only my prayers to god in Jesus's name have ever received an answer.
However I confessed my doubts about my interpretation of gods messages to me in answer to my prayers. And one of those was although I believe I'm doing the right thing and that god has my back, I still know I'm capable of being wrong. I was troubled by this once again, and saw that if I doubt my interpretation it means I doubt gods messages to me.
I continued with a my fears of others, divergent churches, misguided, and even the possibility of none trans children being labelled trans. I feared a great many things. And shared them with god In prayer. I concluded my prayer, and after I began to as per usual grab my bear "snowflake."
However whilst playing with him, something seemed out of the usual I cant say what it was, I don't know what it was, but I was missing something, and stop playing and just held snowflake still. I was trying to figure out what this something strange was. But have you ever had something in the corner of your eye that you cant quite see? This was a bit like that, only not in the corner of my site but right in front of me. I only realised after I realised what that something was. I had placed a hair tie around one of his paws, and the positioning of him was sitting up pointing at me. Yes I know its just a bear. But the strangeness of it had taken my breath away. To not notice the hair tie until I had placed him inadvertently in a position that had him pointing at me with that paw.
Make what you like of it, but the spiritual strength I gained from this In regards to my transition was significant. Every time I doubt there is something that strengthens my resolve.
Incidentally I also In prayer wondered wear I might get my hands on a bible. And even if coming here just to share this was all I was supposed to do, I did notice the link to the online bible, And that came at doubting as to whether I should even post.
This I say In The Name Of Jesus Christ Amen.
