I feel........

[Umiko]

i feel like crap right now. shouldnt of woken up today but the good part was my mind was so distracted, time flew

[Jess42]

I don't really know. Dysphoria is hitting me pretty hard right now but I feel like I don't know how much more I can take. But I've made it through before so I will probably make it through this time too. Sorry just a little down right now.

[Jessica Merriman]

Baby, you need to find a hobby or something to occupy your mind real quick! I so worry about you.

You will overcome as well Jess! Hang in there you two.

[Umiko]

i'm sry. i have to much time on my hands until school starts so i'm left to my thoughts. there isnt much to do here plus even if i found something, i cant enjoy it

[Jess42]

Baby, you need to find a hobby or something to occupy your mind real quick! I so worry about you.

You will overcome as well Jess! Hang in there you two.

Thanks hon. I try to hang in but sometimes hanging gets kind of tiring. Yeah, I'll make it through. Always have. But damn, this is about one of or the absolute worst bouts of dysphoria I have experienced yet. Just kinda' slippin' Jessica. You know?

[Umiko]

its worse than dysphoria for me. keeps evolving into an even bigger monster. i had to force food down my throat or i wouldnt have any food intake today

[Jess42]

its worse than dysphoria for me. keeps evolving into an even bigger monster. i had to force food down my throat or i wouldnt have any food intake today

Yeah this doesn't seem normal for me. Monster you say? I guess i will work out some aggression on the guitar but it gets where that doesn't seem to help sometimes. I can't think of anything worst than dysphoria. But anyway time to go for me and practice, practice and more practice. Just have feeling it will be some really dark riffs tonight.

[Jessica Merriman]

Just kinda' slippin' Jessica. You know?

I know Jess, that's what we are all here for is to get it out so it doesn't fester any more than it should. Us Jess's have to stick together!

[Umiko]

i just feel like maybe i was a bit to early. i feel like i should of waited knowing it would kill me in the long run but maybe the 1% chance would last.

[Jessica Merriman]

This is exactly why I advocate for Therapy. Where are you on that?

[Jess42]

I know Jess, that's what we are all here for is to get it out so it doesn't fester any more than it should. Us Jess's have to stick together!

You ain't lyin' sister. No matter how well we think we got it under control sometimes it really bites us in the butt. Usually my dysphoria isn't that bad but when it comes it comes with a vengeance. I do write pretty good stuff though at those times, I just gotta put it all together which is more than I can say for myself.

i just feel like maybe i was a bit to early. i feel like i should of waited knowing it would kill me in the long run but maybe the 1% chance would last.

It's really never too early Brianna. I really wish I could go back in time and transition 25 years ago. The earlier you can be the true you, the better for sure.

[Megan Joanne]

Today I felt the worst I had in a while, thank goodness I have a dog. I was sitting there recording myself, one of those just in case I do something stupid kinda deals so my mom would know what happened, tears streaming down my face like miniature waterfalls...my dog drops a ball down beside me. I played with her, helped me recover, a little bit. Now I just feel kind of sick.

[Umiko]

This is exactly why I advocate for Therapy. Where are you on that?

pretty far in but i meant as far as transition time. i'm in so much pain right now that i dont even know if i'm capable of reaching the goal line.

[Satinjoy]

Breathe, relax, trust, accept, believe good things will come, work the therapy, read the old posts in here and find the gems, accept that you will have the body you love and need given time, and that the journey should be enjoyed, dysphoria focusses on what we dont want to see, not on the beauty we should see, nor the spirit or the wonderful raw material of whatever body we were born into, that can be molded with the guidance of the master sculpters, the endo, the shrink and the forum.

You girls hang in there, assuming it is ok to gender you in that sense.  If not forgive me please.

(I am not a "he" in here.)

I know the deep bite of dysphoria.  Accepting my self and my body in the moment was the key to calming it down.

I still want a pair of b's, I have a's....but I see new things monthly.

Outlast it... love your bodies and minds right where you are at, it is your starting place or your core, it is uniquely yours, cherish it and know it is a process.  Be the beauty your have the right to be and do beautiful things for yourselves and others

[Umiko]

deep bite is a serious understatement. the only good thing in my life right now is that fact the opposing lawyers want to settle my case outside of court which saves me because my heart cant take going to court without literally dying from cardiac arrest. had the cops called today. if i didnt have a reason to go out....................................lets just say no good things would of come out of it.