[SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT BTW :x]
Okay, so I came out to my parents about three months ago. Because I suppressed my trans feelings for so long, there is still a subconscious feeling that it's not "worthy" or "important" and just "bothersome" to people, which makes I have a real hard time talking about it openly with people, unless they are trans too or I know they accept me a 120%.
My parents and old friends don't fit in the latter category, and thus I find it very difficult to talk about it with them.
I didn't even exactly tell my parents I was trans, I told them I "feel like a guy on the inside", but ALSO made clear I didn't want to keep on living as a girl in the letter I wrote. When they asked me whether I wanted to change my name I figured I should cut them some slack and told them it would be okay for now if they just processed it a bit and STOPPED referring to me as a "girl" all the time and stopped demanding of me to do "girl stuff".
However, they still remind me of my physical sex several times a day and still say stuff like "No, that's a guys shirt/bike/pants" when I want to buy something or say "That's because you are a girl" etc. Also do they still share IMMEDIATELY with every stranger I'm their 'daughter' and blurt out my birthname and she, etc. right in front of them. BAM, there goes my chance of passing. I really almost die of shame right there when that happens. Also don't I feel like I can openly talk with them about it yet, and I feel VERY uncomfortable to do so. Because of that I have been avoiding talking with them about it (so it's also kinda my fault. I should just give them more clarity...), and repetitively locking myself in my own room just not to see them and hear the g-word all the time.
Lately I was talking about it with a niece of mine who is much more accepting (she doesn't understand ->-bleeped-<- of how it feels, etc. but no cispeople do, and she is very open to learning in an accepting and tolerant way), and I feel much more at ease talking to her about it because she is very chill about it too, and she said "You are just not being clear enough. When you allow your parents to call you your birthname they will never see you as a guy because of their association with the name." and I think she has a very valid point here. I should just stop being such a wuss and just tell them "Call me Erik and he", and just correct them calmly but firmly when they misgender.
But how can I do that in a proper way? Also, how can I overcome that uneasy feeling I get when talking with them about it? Am I the only one feeling like this? Is it normal???
And lastly, for 'new' coming outs, should I just cut the whole 'easing into it' period (as it seems not to be working) and tell them to call me Erik and he from the get-go? Isn't that a bit 'much' at once? Am I not too 'demanding' that way? I just find this early transition phase so terribly difficult. You have people who know and who don't know, lots of misgendering from both groups and extra awkward situations when people who accept it meet people who don't... yikes! :s
