Day -3: FLIGHT: A TORMENTING HELL AND STRUGGLE TO REACH THAILAND
You can't imagine the turmoil I've undergone through to reach Thailand from Western Europe specially for someone without proper papers. I fled from severe persecution and death from my 3rd world retard country 3 years ago and I asked political asylum(my nick on Susans that time was Sad Girl pre-fledding then reverted to Happy Girl once I touched Europe then I requested to delete my former account) which was rejected and I am still fighting my case in court till now. So I didn't have proper papers over Shengen zone.
My misery began on the very day of leaving itself when I pick a fight with my boyfriend just before leaving knowing I'd never see him again when I'll be back. I start crumbling in depression of fear of what's gonna happen when leaving the country and if I will be even allowed to re enter back with no proper papers, I hug my pet so tight to which I'm attached.
My original flight was at 12:50pm with a Northern European airline transit to Bangkok as there was no direct flight from where I am. In the metro I am checking the flight itinerary and that effing website
tripair.com did not tell me which terminal as the airport has different terminals linked with metro stations. I start panicking and asking all random people in the metro if they knew which terminal does that Airline generally travel. I reach the airport 12:20 and I had no time to buy an airport ticket to enter in so I try to run behind another people and the security caught and told me to buy my ticket that f¨*cking machine of ticket distributor to enter inside the airport was dysfuntional. Struggling 10 minutes with € coins and 50€ notes too big to be accepted, finally I managed to pay with my credit card.
It took me like 10 minutes to locate the counter of that airline for check in around 12:35, they told me sorry maam the gates are already closed and so are the counter for check in. I break loose and start crying in front of everyone at the airport, the mental turmoil was unbearable. Then told me go at the sales counter maybe they could put me on the next flight. There they told me that ticket was non changeable nor refundable. My money was all VERY sharp on the dot and I thought if I go back home to ask more money from friends how embarassing that would be as I asked all friends maximum money already. And I also thought what about Miss Jitadda who I already told I was arriving 9:00am in the morning, THE MEETING WITH CHETT AND PSYCHIATRIST THE DAY WOULD HAVE ALL RIPPLED OFF, AND WORST I WOULD HAVE LOST MY 20% DEPOSIT. So then I said <not allowed> it I need to reach Thailand no matter what and from there ask my money urgent from Western Union.
I check the next airline Lufthansa told me there was no availability, same with another airline but then the 4th Airline sales counter a country of MID EUROPE told me there was one in the next 2 hours but costed 1300€
In my mind I have no choice and had to take it. Now a new problem begins, they told me they cannot sell me this ticket more than 15 days stay in Thailand cos people of my nationality have only 15 days limit stay without visa (Visa on arrival). I kept arguing with the guy telling him in the Thai embassy website they told up to 30 days. He was being stubborn and I finally said ->-bleeped-<- it I'll take it 15 days only and when I reach Thailand I'm gonna sort out happens whatever happens but I need to reach Bangkok a matter of life and death the next day. I go sit in the lounge depressed and confused the first thing I call Miss Jitadda and tell her my flight has been changed and postponed arriving instead 15:00.
BORDERLING BEING DEPORTED FROM THE COUNTRY I WAS ON TRANSIT
Reaching that country I was suppose to be in transit, I arrive there all looks fine and in my head I said ok my nightmare is finally over but here I didn't know my biggest misery was about to begin. Waiting in the lounge for about 4 hours, I start going for check-in to Bangkok. The female officer looks at me and smile but when look at my passport stops smiling (cos I still looked the former me 8 years ago). She starts becoming rude and asks me where is your E.U resident permit. I tell her what do you need it for as I am not stepping down in your country but just here on transit and flying away now from the E.U zone. She says whatever I have been on the EU zone illegally for 3 years and she needs to call the police to investigate this matter. So she calls the airport police AND MY FLIGHT FOR BANGKOK WAS IN 50 MINUTES.
The police takes me away and start being rude at the base knowing what I am. By his tone he already sounded like a sheer homophobic/transphobic. He kept on yelling me and beating round the bush I am illegal 3 years on EU territory and for that I will be deported back to my country + pay a fine of 500€. In my head I was more than battered and thought that worst of the worst is about to happen now. Surgery ruined and going back to the hell I extricated from 3 years ago and all the money I worked so hard to save plus borrowed from friends. He starts taking all my documents and scanning and printing everything he could get from me and after 20 minutes I was too dead in my head to say whatsoever. I just started praying at that moment a miracle happens. Then suddenly I dunno what took me up and I started talking to him in German as I was a german tourist guide in my country years ago. Shocked, he stops writing and stares me and asks me since when do I speak german then I started telling him a bit my life briefly. And I started telling him the danger and how I was almost killed in my country and how people are cruel to people like me. Then he started calming down and speaking well to me where finally he started became friendly and he told me I release you on only one condition that you show me proofs of your case in court going on once you return to your original western EU country + NOT to passing over his country as transit when returning. I was sooooooo happy and emotioned that I tried to kiss him on the cheeks but he backed off in shocked. I told him sorry but I was so emotioned and took my stuffs and went away. Then I ran to the gates, it's like I was released from hell. In the plane to Bangkok I couldnt sleep and just kept on thinking about all tragedies I went through pffft
DAY -2: ARRIVING BANGKOK (scams at the airport) AND FIRST DAY AT RAMA HOTEL
I said I've undergone like several nightmares and I hope not a new one is waiting for me in Bangkok now but fortunately everything went fine except I was scammed(fortunately not that big scam) and WORSE by the security of the airport itself. While reaching outside I forgot I had to wait at Gate 3 and immediately as you get out you land at gate 7 or 9 I think so I was checking for my name and nothing. And that security told me you need help? I said yeah and he told me give me the phone number of the person you need to call. So he made an ACTING as if he called and was talking to Miss Jitadda and then brought me outside and told me Jitadda told you to wait here AND SHOCKED HE SUDDENLY ASKED ME 'SO WHERE IS MY TIPS'? I removed 20baht and gave him and he told me not enough and I gave him 100baht then he went away. The scorching humid heat that I've never experience outside was unbearable and I felt something was fishy anyway and I went back inside. Then someone told me try walking further upwards at till Gate 3. Then I remember someone here in the forum already warned me about this in private and I just did the exact oppossite thing.
At Gate 3 I finally saw the driver and in the car he passed me to Ms Jitadda on phone and I started rambling her all my misery I've went through. I finally reached the Rama Hotel and rested. It was a very nice hotel with very green gardens and swimming pools outside.
LAXATIVE TO BE TAKEN
1. I was given some pills
2. A bottle of some sort had to be inserted into the anus
3. I was not allowed to eat solid just thick soup.
DAY -1: CONSULTATION WITH DR CHETTAWUT & PSYCHIATRIST MR SPAIN
So very early morning I woke up and had only liquids for breakfast. The driver brought me to Dr Chettawut at 7:30am. His clinic and office are all located at one place. It's very clean and nice inside, sophisticated with cameras etc...When I met him I was so emotioned and I hugged him as I was desperate trying to reach him since 2004 but never had the money to. He was very formal yet a cool person. Then he just told me to pull down my pants and told me it's ok I have enough skin and won't need a groin graft. So of the 1300€ I air ticket I lost, 700€ was already saved but I was still lacking around 500€ for the surgery (SRS PLUS TRACHEA SHAVE). After consultation I paid the rest of the money to Miss Jitadda in cash. I used the money to pay hotel for the surgery and later on I'd pay the hotel during check out after my friend sends me money via western union after the 20th when I can start walking again.
PSYCHIATRIST- MR SPAIN
As I already had one paid in my country the second one I had to do in Thailand. Costed me 200€. Everything went fine.
Advice: If Mr Spain asks if you attempted to commit suicide NEVER answer yes or might not approve you.
After that I went back to the hotel aroung 15:00 and I rested.
FINAL LAXATIVE
Then comes that final laxative liquid to be drunk. IT WAS THE WORST THING I TASTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEURK!
ONLY LIQUID TO BE TAKEN AS SODA, JUICE OR CLEAR SOUP.
DAY 1: OPERATION DAY
I was told 7 hours prior to surgery not to eat or drink ANYTHING AT ALL. My surgery was about 15:00 but I was brought there around 13:00. So the nurses told me to take my clothes off and lie over a bed to wait and checked if I shaved which I died the nigth before. That nurse name was Si and she was so nice. Honestly I was not nervous at all. Then I finally entered the operation block 15:00 and the anasthesist doctor was asking me if I'm ready and I said yeah yeah I'm ready and told him 'See ya later, Goodnight' lol.
DAY 2: 1st DAY POST OP
I woke up around 3AM IN THE MORNING THE NEXT DAY
I see someone blurred sitting 2 metres away from me and I said 'Hey who are you?' Then I realized it's Dr Chettawut doing some paper works beside me. So frazzled I go back to sleep again. I woke up 2 hours later and when I check I see a nurse sleeping 3 steps away from me. I go back to sleep again.
When I woke up early morning my vision was somehow blurred and I WAS TOLD MY SURGERY LASTED 12 HOURS INSTEAD OF 5 HOURS. WTF! Then Dr told me I had some sorts of scars in my anal passage and he couldnt dig further which led me to have only 4inch depth. IN MY HEAD I SAID WHAT A DISASTER 4 INCH. Then he told me to rest assured that even genetic females it's natural to have 4inch. But all men I use to accomodate are all around 7 pfff. Even till now that story is still not clear to me.There was plaster all over me. AND I COULD STILL FEEL 'WHAT WAS THE TIP OF MY PENIS BEFORE' PAINING. It felt like my tip of penis was somehow still there wtf.
I was allowed to drink only clear liquids and 1 cracker and several times a day the nurses would wake me up to give me pills to drink. I felt so weak and frazzled.
DAY 2: VERY PAINFUL
Day 1 I didn't feel that pain cos something was stuck to my back and chest to avoid the pain but it was removed I started feeling the pain. I was feeling very dizzy weak LACKING OXYGEN and wanted to vomit and did vomit several times in fact. The recovery room was a closed room with no window, very clean but not sure how oxygen entered in. I asked a nurse oxygen mask, she told your oxygen level is normal you don't need it then I insisted and she finally gave me and I felt better. There was a TV inside and even WIFI and my mobile phone just beside but I was too weak to do whatsoever that all I wanted to do is to sleep to sleep and to sleep.
DAY 3:
A bit same as day 2
DAY 4: Lesser pain
But that thing which I felt the tip of what WAS my penis was still hypersensitive and paining as hell. And where were formerly my testicles paining too.
DAY 5: REMOVAL OF PLASTER AND HOW IT LOOKS AND GOING BACK TO HOTEL
So in the morning they started to remove it there's that 2 plugs when removed pains but not that much but they let the urine catheter still connected. OMG WHEN THEY REMOVED ALL THAT THE FIRST THING I SEE IS A BIG BULGE AND I SAY WHAT THE HELL MY D*** IS STILL HERE.
My what was my testicles on the sides were still there which is now the majora labia and I was lucky to have it thick and prominent. Then they told me to calm down and that it was normal to be SWOLLEN. But then I was brought a mirror to check from the other view and I was happy how natural and beautiful my vagina came out AESTHETICALLY. SENSATION I would say am sensate FAR MORE THAN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN cos for now my inner labia/clitoris. In fact I myself don't even know which is which it all looked confusing to me. Which I thought was the clit was in fact the inner labia super sensitive and painful. The scars from up view are not apparent but from the downview you can see it on the buttocks near anus but it's too early to say. The nurse was using a cotton bud to show me inside of what different was the clit and inne labia, it was so painful when doing so I said yeah yeah whatever we'll check it another time instead.
So they dressed me and helped me get into the car and put the a doughtnut cushion to sit and I went to the hotel since then 10th of June and I was lucky I had one of my relative to come and take care of me till now. I am suppose to leave somethere on the 27th.
DAY 6 : LIFE BACK IN HOTEL
I firmly advise if you have to do SRS in Thailand to bring someone with you. I know many who goes alone but it would be a real hassle and desperate struggle alone once in the hotel as nurses visit you only once a day. BUY ALL YOUR FOOD FOR 2 WEEKS IN ADVANCE THE VERY 1ST DAYS YOU STEP IN THAILANG COS YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO WALK OUT OF THE HOTEL WHATSOEVER. VERY DIFFICULT TO MOVE, EVEN JUST TO DISCARD THE URINE PEE BAG EVERY TIME IT REACHES 800ML
Medications
2 pills of anti biotics are to be taken 4 times a day, 3 strong pain killers, paracetamols 4 hr intervals, 3 anti swelling and pills to prevent you poo for 3 days more till they remove a sort of cloth inside your vagina to avoid in close.
Absolute rest needed, no walking except going to discard urine in toilet. Even my food was always brought to me at my bed.
For 3 days only liquid and SEMI SOLID FOOD TILL YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POO AS FAECES MIGHT INFECT YOUR WOUND CLOSE TO YOUR VAGINA.
DAY 7- SAME AS DAY 6
Visit by nurse to clean vagina with cotton buds and check status. NOT ALLOWED TO POO POO YET.
DAY 8- REMOVAL OF THAT THING INSIDE VAGINA WHICH AVOIDS IT TO CLOSE AND CONFIRMATION OF DEPTH AND ALLOWED TO SHOWER AND ALLOWED TO POO FINALLY BUT URINE CATHETER STILL CONNECTED FOR 1 WEEK MORE.
Its not that painful, it's a cloth which was inserted inside so that it does not close. So the nurse Si inserted something inside me to confirm my depth which was indeed 4inch.
DAY- 1ST DILATION
1st Dilation was 15 minutes and it was not at all painful as per when I hear other girls experience. What's really painful to me is the inner labia sensitivity even my pads and underwear touching with it slightly makes it pain a lot AND EVEN UPTO NEGATIVE THOUGHT/EMOTIONS MAKE IT PAIN I SWEAR.
TOMORROW WILL BE MY SECOND DAY DILATION ALONE
Energetically I am recovering but what's annoying is that over sensitive inner labia thing super painful whenever touched. I the beginning it was inside but now it bulged out like a petal of flower outside, so annoying. I can't even try put it back inside.
