have I hidden my transgendered feelings too well

[Zoe Louise Taylor]

Do any of you feel that you did too good a job of denying and hiding your trsnsgendered feelings!!

Im gonna be coming out in the next couple of months to my parents!! And I honestly feel that they have no idea that something is on my mind! I live 200 miles away from the family home, and I only get to see my parents once a month! Ive been getting more and more quiet as the time has gone on, but they seem so unaware that something is troubling me!

they have asked why im being quiet, but im sure they will be massively surprised when I tell them im transexual :/

when I moved out of the family home, I was still hugely in denial about my feelings and was playing the part of a boy, and was hiding who I really am! I worry that i hid it to welk :/ and when I tell my parents about being transgedered, they wont believe me and take me seriously!!

I kind of dont really care too much whst they think, as they wont change my mind! Its just im so worried that they wont take me seriously :/

Do any of you ladies feel that you have hiden your trans feelings too well?

Zoe
xx

[stephaniec]

well. both my parents have past away , but as a child I had severe cross dressing going on and I was quite different socially so If they were still around I'm sure there would not be too much surprise.

[PoeticHeart]

I really do feel that way.

When I was young (I'm talking like five), I was utterly convinced that I was born in the body of a female but that my parents wanted a boy and just had me changed around a bit. Obviously, I didn't know that wasn't possible at the time, but that's what I believed. I felt this way through out the rest of my child hood. However, as I began to go through puberty, my body went into it's own thing, as everyone's does. Therefore, I feel like (in order to maintain my sanity), I forced myself into being and seeing myself as a boy that was attracted to other boys. For me, 'being gay' was a little easier to deal with, though it drove me into dark times. I feel like if I had gone through those times as trans, I may not have walked out the other side.

As I discover my womanhood again, it requires a lotttttt of unpacking so to speak. I have to deal with internalized misogyny and transphobia as well as trying to figure out what it means to be a woman for me. 

[RosieD]

I did an amazingly good job of hiding things. My old man even made an entirely inappropriate joke when I told him, he thought I was having him on.  Mum's still a bit confused but entirely supportive (or at least as much as she is able to be) and Dad is accepting but so self-obsessed I am not sure he cares one way or the other. They will probably come round.

Rosie

[ganjina]

Can share the feelings of the above posters, having dreams of being a girl since 3 (some of my earliest memories) and wanting to put dresses and makeup, and say hi to the other lil' boys with a kiss in the cheek. Of course, it didn't get better with time though there was big time denial, guilt, self-hatred, low self esteem.... My parents were surprised, but then again I only saw them once a year or every two years for the last decade. My SO and close friends however, were not. At all. My SO hinted at it so many months before I even came out to anyone and she was like "Finally! Am happy you got to stop denying and are going to be your true self!"

[carrie359]

Totally but its our survival tool... we do what society thinks we should do and most do it well.
Look at Kristen Beck the Navy Seal...she hid pretty well.
Also Chris Tina Bruce the body builder... she did as well.
When I came out my brother did not remember catching me in dresses at night... but he was young.
My mom never knew...
My dad caught me cross dressed but acted like he did not see me.. he was in the closet gay..

My kids never knew.. but now my son accepts me as female as do my friends.. even though I present male.. ...but they respect my gender.
Good luck kiddo.. you just need to be yourself..
Carrie

[Natalie]

Gender Dysphoria never fully goes away no matter how well suited we are to suppress our true persona. In my anecdotal experiences I was never very good at playing the sex role my parents forced onto me.

[Megumi]

I will say that not showing the signs early on and hiding it so well that my family knew nothing when I came out at 29 years old is my biggest regret in my transition. Had I hinted at it then it would have made things much easier according to my family. The truth is from 5 years old and on they never knew nothing. I honestly find that hard to believe that I his things so well.

[warlockmaker]

I was just incredible on what I did to prove I was a male. I was a phenom athlete representing my country in the Ironman World Championship, Horse Show National Champion, Hard core CEO of a significant business, playboy galore, and agressive competitor without peer. Never realized I had to try so hard before to prove to my father that I was a alpha male. Yet I had all the dreams to be a female...now my dream is a reality and I am ever so happy.

[E-Brennan]

Well hidden feelings here too for thirty years.  Sometimes I think I even hid them from myself...

But yeah, it was a huge shocker for my wife to find out.  There literally were no clues, no suspicions, no nothing.  And that brought up (and still brings up) the regular conversation topics of, "Why can't you just keep it in then like you did throughout our marriage?" and my personal favorite, "Are you sure you're trans?"

I think hiding extremely well is very common.

Telling the parents?  They've known you even longer than you've known yourself, and probably better than anyone else in the entire world (unless you have a longterm SO).  Gotta be the hardest couple to break the news to, especially if they have no idea whatsoever.

That said, parents are sometimes pretty clued in - they just keep their mouths shut and let you live your life.  You may find you've left a trail of breadcrumbs that they've been picking up on for a long time, but they just haven't mentioned it to you.

[helen2010]

Absolutely.  In fact other than my wife every person who I have told that I am TG has been completely surprised.  On reflection some say that there were clues but that they hadn't put 2 and 2 together.

My daughter didn't see this and she us a nurse who deals with many TS patients.   My parents, son and extended family will also be surprised.

I think that we are in general very good actors.   We learn very quickly what society expects from genetic males and females and learn to behave accordingly.   I really didn't know I was acting as I thought I was normal and that everyone felt like me (albeit with a strong urge to cross dress and a dream of becoming a girl!).  I doubt that my mother will remember me sharing this with her when I was 6 and will likely only remember how 'normal' I was.   

Of course it has taken me a long time to explore and to understand my identity and this journey has not been shared with my parents so they will be surprised if I tell them.   Given their age etc I am not sure that sharing this would be a good move or kind to them so they may never know.

Aisla