Wanna Look Better . . .

[Gina Taylor]

In some of my past posts, some of you have said that all that you see when you look at me is a woman. I was just talking with a friend who works at Wal-Mart and she told me that when I leave, people come over to her and they bring to her attention that she was talking with a man. She nicely turns around and tells them "Not today." Now I really appreciate that but I want to know how I can make myself look better. Is there any pre-op transsexuals who aren't on hormones that have run into the same situation that could help.

[Ms Grace]

It's not all about looks. Posture is important. Stand straight, shoulders back. What is your stance like? Legs apart or closer together? Closer is better. How do you walk? Men walk from the upper half of the body and shoulders, women from their hips and butt. How is your posture? Arms crossed is more male, try holding your hands down in front of you instead, or when you're talking use your hands to be more expressive. When women talk they tend to look each other in the face, not something men do much.

[Gina Taylor]

It's not all about looks. Posture is important. Stand straight, shoulders back. What is your stance like? Legs apart or closer together? Closer is better. How do you walk? Men walk from the upper half of the body and shoulders, women from their hips and butt. How is your posture? Arms crossed is more male, try holding your hands down in front of you instead, or when you're talking use your hands to be more expressive. When women talk they tend to look each other in the face, not something men do much.

Thanks Grace. I realize that it's not all about looks, but it does involve some posture as well. I do stand straight with my legs together. Only men will stand with their legs apart like they just got off of a horse. LOL Whenever I walk, I walk with a very slow pace and my arms swing from the elbows and I do let my hips and butt swing a bit. I do tend to use my hands when talking and I always look at a person when I'm talking. I guess there are some things that I do need some improvements on. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[suzifrommd]

Tny other advice would be greatly appreciated. 

First:

I was just talking with a friend who works at Wal-Mart and she told me that when I leave, people come over to her and they bring to her attention that she was talking with a man.

That's good Gina. They're assuming your friend wouldn't know. In other words, it's not obvious. For many of us that's as good as it will get.

OK, now my thoughts:
1. Most important passing tip: Women everywhere you look. Make sure there is no part of you that looks male. If there is any part of you that you think gives you away, or might just give you away, cover it up, draw attention away from it, deemphasize it, do what you have to so that it no longer gives you away. You don't know where they'll look first, but wherever it is, it needs to look female or they will look further. Don't give them a reason to question.
2. Voice and bearing can give you away. I know many beautiful trans woman who you would never know except that they walk and move like football players.
3. Naturalness helps. Female mannerisms are great, but if they seem studied, rehearsed or tentative, they might look less than female.
4. You will never be 100% passable. There are always clues. Some people won't notice. Others will pick them up right away. 5. You are as beautiful as you need to be. Merely being a woman (passing or no) carries with it incomparable beauty.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!
Don't forget that!

[Emily1996]

I agree with everything Grace said, from your avatar picture you seem very feminine so I really don't understand

[Gina Taylor]

First:

That's good Gina. They're assuming your friend wouldn't know. In other words, it's not obvious. For many of us that's as good as it will get.

That's what I was thinking as well.  I always try to be as presentable as I can, so that I'm not sticking out as a sore thumb. Even my mom told me that I'm a conservative dresser. 

OK, now my thoughts:
1. Most important passing tip: Women everywhere you look. Make sure there is no part of you that looks male. If there is any part of you that you think gives you away, or might just give you away, cover it up, draw attention away from it, deemphasize it, do what you have to so that it no longer gives you away. You don't know where they'll look first, but wherever it is, it needs to look female or they will look further. Don't give them a reason to question.

That's excellent advice Suzi, and I do try to make sure that there is nothing male like showing.
2. Voice and bearing can give you away. I know many beautiful trans woman who you would never know except that they walk and move like football players.

I get stopped all the time whenever I'm walking to a store and I'll get asked whatever and I always love practicing my voice on people. I've managed to take the bass {not the fish} out of my voice completely so I sound very feminine.

3. Naturalness helps. Female mannerisms are great, but if they seem studied, rehearsed or tentative, they might look less than female.
I try  to let my mannerisms look more natural.

4. You will never be 100% passable. There are always clues. Some people won't notice. Others will pick them up right away.

I'm always aware of that, and those that bring it up, I just look at them, smile and move on. Totally unaffected. 

5. You are as beautiful as you need to be. Merely being a woman (passing or no) carries with it incomparable beauty.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!
Don't forget that!

Thank you for that sweet complement. 

I agree with everything Grace said, from your avatar picture you seem very feminine so I really don't understand

Thank you Emily for that sweet compliment  about my avatar. But tell me, when you look at it do I look very feminine because of the way I'm sitting or is it because of the way I am put together ? Just curious.