comparing your self to other women

[stephaniec]

I was just curious if others find it increasingly difficult to  glance at other women and not go to a complete mental examination of clothes, hair style make up . anatomy comparison etc. The longer I'm on HRT and my body changes I am increasingly comparing my self to other woman. I'm sitting in Starbucks right now and this middle aged woman is sitting talking to a friend and my mind seems to be absorbed in comparing each of her features to mine. She looks really nice in the dress she has on and I'm pondering how I'd look in that dress. It just seems my brain is being more conditioned to do this.

[LittleEmily24]

I'm always noticing women i'd like to be like. Sometimes in style or sometimes in physical appearance... something to aspire to. Rarely in personality, but only because i haven't been able to make new friends.

Sometimes I'll see a group of women, see one that i really like, and think to myself "i wish i could be her", like... i guess be in a group of girls and just be.. to the point where my life is just as boring as anyone elses.

idk, its probably just a stupid thing in my head.

[stephaniec]

I'm always noticing women i'd like to be like. Sometimes in style or sometimes in physical appearance... something to aspire to. Rarely in personality, but only because i haven't been able to make new friends.

Sometimes I'll see a group of women, see one that i really like, and think to myself "i wish i could be her", like... i guess be in a group of girls and just be.. to the point where my life is just as boring as anyone elses.

idk, its probably just a stupid thing in my head.

that's what I'd like to do is go bar hopping or  shopping with a group of women.

[jussmoi4nao]

Cis women, no. Because we're different. It's like comparing apples and oranges. We'll always be something the other isn't so no need to compete. Though I know a lot of women I know compare themselves to me...just the other day a friend of my moms said it wasn't fair how pretty I am or how perky my boobs are lol!

But yeah when it comes to other trans women there's more competitiveness but I just try to ignore it. I sometimes feel competitive but only if a guy tells me about a pretty trans woman he dated. Otherwise I don't pay attention or let it bug me.

Not yo say I'm not insecure...I feel highly insecure some days. Just that I'm not the jealous type

[stephaniec]

I saw a transgender yesterday walking down the street with a couple other transitioning people and wow, she looked great. For the transgender I compare our transition advancement , but I compare clothing and other things with all women.

[Jill F]

Honestly, comparing myself to other women usually sets me up for some major disappointment.

Comparing myself to myself before transition does not.  I'll just stick to that one and be happier.

[stephaniec]

Honestly, comparing myself to other women usually sets me up for some major disappointment.

Comparing myself to myself before transition does not.  I'll just stick to that one and be happier.

well Jill, I have to say your looking very nice these days

[Michelle G]

I will "compare" in some ways when I'm out and about shopping or in town, sometimes I will tell myself "at least I have nicer hair than her" or " at least my legs look better than hers" It's just another way for me to get by and feel a little bit better. My lovely spouse admits to doing that herself so I guess I dont feel to bad

[JoanneB]

I guess I always kind of sort of did that. What I found really disturbing occurred a few weeks back on a business trip. Lately I am thinking more and more in terms of I 'Will' me transitioning some day vs "I dunno". My plane was delayed and I killed time wondering the terminal which naturally led to checking out other women's total look or presentation.

Bad idea. Call it a trigger or whatever but it just launched me into a total WTF am I doing funk. Me, the queen of proselytizing to others to be fair to yourself and DO NOT compare yourself to women outside of the checkout line at the supermarket. So much for thinking about how what sort of style I'd have or need to have going full-time. I know, they had 20, 30 years or more to put one together.Not a fair comparison.

Back to one day at a time

[Carrie Liz]

Yup... pretty much ever since officially going full-time back in April, I've really started constantly being hyper-aware of all the women around me, and their fashion choices, and how their bodies are shaped, and their bone structures, and my jealousy has shot through the roof.

[Evelyn K]

I live in a predominantly Asian town so most of my 'competition' is Asian. They don't really have a sophisticated look other than what's for sale at Abercrombie or anything that looks cut short and highly flammable from China. Many of the gals here look like fashion drones with no sense of individuality. As long as the label on their attire shouts ABERCROMBIE or COACH (albeit imitation). 

Lame.

I'm more interested in doing my own thing, being unique and respected for my own sensibilities. Less is more right? So I'm planning to dress like a conservative lesbian to really stand apart while not drawing anyone to clock me for dressing too feminine.




Just imagine being trans but doing it so right, it just can't be wrong. Everything needs to line up and have visual harmony tuned for my own passability. I can easily take my look to Madison Avenue and still blend comfortably in.

I'm probably going to drop around $5K on designer clothing this year especially for cooler weather layered attire. So there's nothing really for me to compare to since I'm on a different spending bracket. I already know I'll look good. So why stress.

I'm really on a mission. I just want to steamroll over all my haters in life. Whoever they may be.

And also what Michelle said.

[HelloKitty]

I compare myself to the other type of born women quite often, and I'm never disappointed to be myself.

They have nothing I don't have, like good looks, a nice body, sweet personality and sexy female voice.

What makes me jealous is only ever one thing: pregnant women or ones pushing strollers.

[Hikari]

I compare myself to all sorts of people. I might look at how a woman is dressed, I might look up a guys killboard in Eve Online and see the logic of how he fits ships, I might compare stories I write to that of other writers, etc. What I don't do however, is see someone doing something I care nothing about, like play football, and think how it would be to do that or try and see their strategy, etc.

So I think it is only normal to compare yourself to other people, in areas that you care about. So it would only be normal to notice what other women wear and compare.

For me, I tend not to compare myself so much to women who appear to be in different subcultures or age group than my own. I do however notice women that I am romantically attracted to, despite their subculture. I suppose I am not in competition so to speak with people so dissimilar to me, but dating someone dissimilar to me isn't weird at all.

[ErinS]

I live in a predominantly Asian town so most of my 'competition' is Asian. They don't really have a sophisticated look other than what's for sale at Abercrombie or anything that looks cut short and highly flammable from China. Many of the gals here look like fashion drones with no sense of individuality. As long as the label on their attire shouts ABERCROMBIE or COACH (albeit imitation). 

Lame.

I'm more interested in doing my own thing, being unique and respected for my own sensibilities. Less is more right? So I'm planning to dress like a conservative lesbian to really stand apart while not drawing anyone to clock me for dressing too feminine.




Just imagine being trans but doing it so right, it just can't be wrong. Everything needs to line up and have visual harmony tuned for my own passability. I can easily take my look to Madison Avenue and still blend comfortably in.

I'm probably going to drop around $5K on designer clothing this year especially for cooler weather layered attire. So there's nothing really for me to compare to since I'm on a different spending bracket. I already know I'll look good. So why stress.

I'm really on a mission. I just want to steamroll over all my haters in life. Whoever they may be.

And also what Michelle said.

I think we have something of a similar sense of style. I'm something of a dandy and have some amazing clothes that will have to go(including a burberry coat that I LOVE. But at least I'll be able to wear a female replacement in the future)one shirt I will keep is one I bought from Elvis Presley's tailor a few months before he died(the tailor; not Elvis)

I absolutely love this shirt, ands its actually extremely girly, with purple accents and paisley trim. I wore it in my "manly man" phase, and it worked awesome using the principle of peacocking juxtaposition. I tried to wear it a couple weeks ago, and it was slightly disturbing. I looked so flaming, any guy with the slightest hint of latent homosexuality would probably have hit on me, and it really drove home the changes. I ended up wearing something else.

I'll have to have it tailored, but it's staying in one form or another.

[peky]

I was just curious if others find it increasingly difficult to  glance at other women and not go to a complete mental examination of clothes, hair style make up . anatomy comparison etc. The longer I'm on HRT and my body changes I am increasingly comparing my self to other woman. I'm sitting in Starbucks right now and this middle aged woman is sitting talking to a friend and my mind seems to be absorbed in comparing each of her features to mine. She looks really nice in the dress she has on and I'm pondering how I'd look in that dress. It just seems my brain is being more conditioned to do this.

Pretty normal darling, almost all females are always competing with each other...mostly about looks and fashion and what kind of boy friend they have... later on is about babies, and so on and so for...

I am a moderately good looking woman for my age and for the many years under the influence of T....

I use a combination of: assertiveness, charm, self assurance, poise, elegance, scholarity, humor, athleticism, leadership, etc... to leave the cis- and trans-women alike in the dust.... so to speak...LOL

[stephaniec]

I think part of the problem for me is the learning process of what looks good It's kind of my way of picturing what might look good on me. There is a waitress I know that wears body conforming stretch stuff and she looks great in it , but she's got great breasts that balance her body out. Oh well, maybe someday.

[stephaniec]

I shop in a area that's in the middle of a Jewish orthodox community and all the woman wear clothes that are particular to their heritage . I've been wondering lately if I could get away with their style of clothes.

[Joanna Dark]

I don't really ever compare myself to women. I mean I obviously look at what other women are wearing and if I see a look I like I'll steal it. I mean if I spent the day wishing I had a fatter butt after looking at all the women with nice butts, I'd go insane. Some women, or at least a couple who are on the heftier side,have said stuff to me like "I wish i was as tiny as you." And all I can think is why would anyone ever want to be anything like me? I have pretty low self esteem. In November, it was so bad I whored around a lot and prolly slept with (meaning oral sex) about five guys in a week. My BF (open relationship) was away and I needed the validation as I had just gotten fired for being trans. So comparing yourself to a FAAB person prolly is going to lead to sorrow for many trans women. No woman, at least none I've ever known, has been 100 percent happy or confident in her looks. Not possible in this society where a woman's looks counts as her measure of worth. That's why I think some should really think hard about transition cause it's basically taking a step down. Male privilege exists and if you had it and then you really pass, I imagine it's an eye opener. At first it's validating, but after ...yeah....not so fun.

[Ashey]

I often compare myself to women just for looks and clothes and whatnot. I think that's quite normal for anyone. I do get a bit jealous if I see an attractive woman, but it's also tempered by other things... like my own mild attraction to them, or realizing I could maybe pull off wearing what they're wearing, or thinking about how much effort they've probably gone through to look like that. Or that they're probably as insecure as I am about their looks, but at least I don't always feel I have to cake on layers of makeup.

However, one thing I'll always be jealous of and have a complex about is baby-makin'. I definitely want to be a mother one day in the near-ish future, and honestly wouldn't mind settling down with a guy that could effectively father my child(ren). But then I get all paranoid about not being able to reproduce (or really, not being genetically female overall) and how that would affect my chances at keeping a guy. There are days where I feel like I'm only going to be a fetish and only have short-term meaningless flings. I know it's irrational though.. I'm a likeable person and I've been told a zillion times how 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' I am, but it's so hard for me to believe all that. I think it'll be a while before I feel confident enough that I don't have to compare myself to other women in that way... :/

Gotta admit though, I have made others jealous with my hair, ass, thighs, and maybe other features. xD I suppose I'm lucky to look as good as I do. Just have to keep reminding the green-eyed monster of that fact. >_<

[Ms Grace]

I certainly notice if a woman is wearing something I like the look of and wears it with class and style.  I say just "woman", rather than cis woman, because she might be either cis or trans, if she looks great she looks great..