Borderline Personality Disorder

[stephaniec]

I'm both

[Sir Real]

Like others have mentioned you may or may not have BPD and you may or may not be trans. You can definitely have both or neither too. If you've read a bit about BPD and are not seeing it in yourself at all, there's a good chance it's a misdiagnosis.  Or, you might see if there's someone close to you who you can ask if it sounds like you.  That said, only you for sure will know whether you're trans or not.  Is this something that just came up recently or has that particular issue been going on for a good while? Psychologists can be wrong, but it's good that you're taking what they said seriously and thinking things through - I mean that's pretty important too.  It's quite a journey of self-discovery you're on, and I wish you all the best.

[Umiko]

OMG! i finally found a post where i can just go nuts lol. i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 2 years back. it was downgraded to bipolar but now that i think about it, i shouldnt of done that. it explains my empty feelings, and why i think no one is is giving me my answers. now that being said, i'm scared it my cause me being trans to be called into question.

[makipu]

I don't go to any psycho doctors anymore and good riddance for that. They diagnosed me with 'delusional disorder' because of the fact that  I wasn't planning on accepting the female body.

[openwater1]

I was never "officially" diagnosed as borderline, but I do know that I am. I also know that I am trans. For the longest time, I tried to justify my denial of being trans by reminding myself that I'm borderline and that one of the symptoms is not having a solid identity. Bottom line, you are what you feel. Don't let a diagnosis hold you back from self-exploration. If you're trans, you're trans, regardless of whether or not you suffer from BPD.

[sad panda]

I was never "officially" diagnosed as borderline, but I do know that I am. I also know that I am trans. For the longest time, I tried to justify my denial of being trans by reminding myself that I'm borderline and that one of the symptoms is not having a solid identity. Bottom line, you are what you feel. Don't let a diagnosis hold you back from self-exploration. If you're trans, you're trans, regardless of whether or not you suffer from BPD.

I don't think it's that simple...

People with BPD struggle to varying degrees with lack of identity... I'm sorry but I wouldn't assume that you always know what that's like especially if you are self diagnosed. First of all, to even be ABLE to feel "like" something is beyond a lot of people with BPD and they go their whole life with an intense sensation of being fake/hollow and unconsciously rejecting any identity they try to relate to. It feels like always wearing someone else's clothes.

Like personally... I transitioned MTF and despite EVERYONE constantly telling me I was so right to choose being a girl, and despite objectively seeing that I was probably better off as a girl, and being totally natural and normal as a girl, and having nothing about being a boy that was appealing to me... I had to stop being trans and say I'm a boy again just to remove the sensation of having had to choose to be that way, because the unshakable fear of being hated and rejected over it robbed me of any ounce of happiness it could bring. It is pretty much impossible for me to truly feel like anything, no matter how aware I am that I should. And that's why I do think BPD affects being trans.

[ErinS]

I thought I was either BPD or bipolar for the longest time, and even was kinda diagnosed by a shrink and given meds for bipolar at one point. The problem was. I was deep in denial at the time and never mentioned the trans issues, I just wanted something that would make me functional mentally and keep me kinda emotionally numb.

Now that I've come to terms with it and started HRT, all those unstable feelings have gone away and I'm about the most content I've ever been. I'm all but certain now that those bipolar type feelings were related to fighting GD.

[Edge]

Not all people with BPD struggle with a lack of identity. I know who I am.

[Umiko]

this is all to strange. its hard to tell the difference so i guess the only real way is to go on hormones because if your truly trans with BPD, you'd feel instantly better about yourself, if not, the anxiety will shot through the roof. from what i read in the HRT do's and dont's

[Edge]

Not exactly. Hormones make one feel better because those are the hormones one's brain is meant to run on, but they don't solve psychological issues.

[openwater1]

I definitely wasn't insinuating the simplicity of anything. Certainly not being trans or borderline. I understand what BPD is, and like I said, I'm not officially diagnosed but am seeing a therapist who, while acknowleding that I am, has not yet committed to a formal diagnosis.
Perhaps I should have gone more in-depth with my post-semantics can be a pain. Unforunately my phone isn't the best tool for posting.
What I meant by saying "you are what you feel," is that, if you feel like you have the symptoms of BPD, and you feel like you're trans, do more exploring. Don't just assume that something is always what it appears to be, one way or the other. (Obviously I should have been more careful with my phrasing in my previous post. My apologies.)

[sad panda]

Not all people with BPD struggle with a lack of identity. I know who I am.

Yep it's just 1 of 9 dx criteria. I personally struggle with all 9 so I can exaggerate things.... :/

[Umiko]

Not all people with BPD struggle with a lack of identity. I know who I am.

as of now i suffer 3 out of 5 symptoms needed for a re-diagnoses but still, this is a very tricky illness because its not the same as GID but they can be tricky to tell apart unless your really looking and put the time in invistiagating them both. i know if i tell my therapist, he might wined up revaluting me and it'll make my life even more difficult. my psychiatrist has no expreience with GID so since i have to talk to him about it tomorrow, its going to put me on the hot seat

[Edge]

as of now i suffer 3 out of 5 symptoms needed for a re-diagnoses but still, this is a very tricky illness because its not the same as GID but they can be tricky to tell apart unless your really looking and put the time in invistiagating them both. i know if i tell my therapist, he might wined up revaluting me and it'll make my life even more difficult. my psychiatrist has no expreience with GID so since i have to talk to him about it tomorrow, its going to put me on the hot seat

Why did you quote me?
And who wouldn't put the time in investigating both? Even with just one, time is needed to investigate. Or maybe I just think so because I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't.

[Umiko]

because i wanted to xD haha!  jk, i acutally didnt mean to.  i got to lazy to delete it or press the actually replay button. anyways, the only one on this matter who can give me a proper re-diagnoses is my psychiatrist and he doesnt know anything about GID and he is to old fashion and aloof to further investigate both and not just BPD. honestly, this has left me in a state of panic and hyper distress mode 

[Pictrig18]

Wow this is eye opening to read about - BPD was pinned on me several years ago when I first started seeing a psychologist. I was sent to a psychiatrist, given every drug imaginable - none ever helped. I actually had a scary withdrawal on one of them but that's a different story. I never thought I fit that diagnosis...what really stuck me with it I think is the fact that I self harmed and had suicidal ideations. And of course depression, mood swings, no sense of identity - so a lot did fit. But never the stormy relationships or risky behavior. Anyway, I stopped seeing my therapist and stopped taking medication. Things of course didn't magically get better and I eventually landed in therapy again a few years later with a different therapist - and that made all the difference. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find a good therapist, to try several until you do. I was lucky this time. And have grown more in the past couple years than I have my entire life.

I never looked back on my psychological history like this...but it totally makes sense that being trans and struggling with my gender and sexual orientation was confused for BPD. My current therapist never gave me such a diagnosis. She simply supported me and talked me through my feelings of being lost and wrong and hating myself. She had an open mind - and let me unknowingly lead the way, while she supervised. I hope that everyone can find someone like this. And if you're in the Minneapolis area feel free to message me if you want her name/location.