Im glad there are people who feel the same way as me. I do feel alone sometimes that I get down like Im a freak and all. Yesterday, I was talking to a guy at work about my hair and Im serious even though I do it in a joking manner about how Im a keep growing it out. He looked at me and was like your not a girl, girls do that. Now he's an older guy with a disability and no one else talks to him and Ive always befriended him. He knows Ill keep growing it out. I didn't get hurt like angry but people only see the outside. They see me and think he's a guy not realizing and unaware underneath my skin lies this little girl that always had to deal with the being scared of being seen, had to deal with the boy sides of me and scrutinize me if they knew my secret. Now Ive let the girl out more over time and a few people have seen infact even one friend knows Im transgender and a few others have questioned me before but it's still mostly a secret unless people know and just don't say so. That friend who knows said before she knew that Ive always been emotionally sensitive.
Im gonna be fine and I know that things will get better.
Im lucky that my parents would have supported me if I had said Im a girl like when I was 8 or 7. My dad passed away and was a guy guy, not like me but he would have supported how I feel and my mom is supportive like for example I was looking at hair coloring the other day and I said how if I do, ill go to the stylist. She agreed like if I want to get highlights, I better go to have it professionally done. She even has helped me get the right hair accessories like a flat iron for example. She saw my necklaces and didn't think I was weird. This coming from my mom who's very conservative is soo accepting and although she has mentioned how my hair looks good short, she accepts me for me just like my dad did. Ive been lucky in that area.
Yesturday was just a really tough day for me.
