To disclose (at work) or not to disclose that is the question

[immortal gypsy]

Ok first off excuse me if this seams confusing, (seriously the day I start making sense is the day we should all run for the hills.)

Right now the plan for me is to start full time early next year. Now after talking with the counciler today I was asked how important it was for me to actually come out at work. Now this has me thinking and in the words of Julie McCrossan from GNW I've decided to use the left side of my brain (this forum) and ask for some help, advice and opinions.

ME RIGHT NOW

My nails are usally polished in bright colours
I wear my hair bright red and some other colour (blonde, pink, blue, purple, green, blueberry)
That is me in the avatar, thats a girl's coat and I wear it to work on our few cold days
When I leave work during the day it is in a girls top and skinny jeans
My voice over the phone passes 9 1/2 times out of 10 and I'm told very femmanine in person

WORK
Name is very gender neutral and is a very common girls nickname. Half my paperwork from head office has me listed as female
While my buiesness shirt is a mens shirt. I also wear the womens polo
People who work with me see me in my casual clothing when I leave work or have to drop in something

WHY NOT TO TELL
I will only be changing my middle and last name. The paperwork for the office has just our names no title involved.
I'm already reffered to by female pronouns by some of my punters
Like most outlets we only have one bathroom so no issues there
At both venues I'm the 2IC, something I have worked hard for and don't really won't to jeperdise. Yes we have anti-discrimination but it can still be a hassel
Twice in the past week my regulars have mistaken me for a girl (their words)

WHY TO TELL
No more getting "Good Boy" in phone calls from the boss
I'll be being honest
Right now anything but my black tops shows I'm growing, and even those I don't know how long that will last
I will need some more work shirts eventually, It would be nice to tell my boss to order me the womens size
Any new co-workers that come in would refer to me as female, there would be no are you are you not?

Yes I know the ultimate decision is mine and mine alone but any opinions and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[ChelseaAnn]

HM... It almost sounds to me like you're more than halfway there already. Lots of girl things (nails, casual clothing, etc.) Do you have trans anti discrimination in your state / city as well? I know that won't keep you your job, but at least it's a detour if you get driven off the road.
idk, seems to me like people will say "finally, we were waiting for you to say it"

[JoanneB]

I suspect that you, much like a woman in my group a few years ago, is at the point of you are only fooling yourself.

For me, this path that I am on has and I believe will always be, is about being able to feel genuine. A variation of the "You are only as sick as your secrets". Perhaps you too have also felt not just relieved, but also uplifted, upon revealing your true self to the world you live in.

From a purely logical problem solving perspective I see
A) You are going full-time / full transition in a year.  It is just a matter of time.
B) How can you possible keep on preventing the two worlds from colliding afterwards?
C) Official name change will impact some aspect of work. All places have a rumor mill
D) You may already only be fooling yourself at this point. So what can significantly change for the worse? Especially knowing people when gossiping will tend to think the worse, as in sex change candidate for them, already. I doubt, "It's just a phase" is bantered about much around the water cooler when your manner of presentation comes up.

I find it an incredible emotional strain to live two lives. So have several others in my TG group. It became even more difficult as transition for them was the inevitable conclusion for their experiment.

[immortal gypsy]

Do you have trans anti discrimination in your state / city as well? I know that won't keep you your job, but at least it's a detour if you get driven off the road.

While my state (NSW,AUS) has trans anti discrimination the following is from the agency agreement you sign to run an agency. Would this be enough protection?

18. ANTI ‐DISCRIMINATION
Everyone has a legal responsibility to ensure that the workplace and provision of goods
and services is free from discrimination and harassment. Every member of the outlet has
an obligation to ensure that no conduct that may constitute discrimination or harassment
occurs in the outlet.
Agents should review their individual employment practices and operational conduct to
ensure that all staff, contractors and customers are treated fairly and in a nondiscriminatory
manner. Agents and employees should make themselves familiar with
what constitutes discrimination and/or harassment

[immortal gypsy]

I suspect that you, much like a woman in my group a few years ago, is at the point of you are only fooling yourself.

For me, this path that I am on has and I believe will always be, is about being able to feel genuine. A variation of the "You are only as sick as your secrets". Perhaps you too have also felt not just relieved, but also uplifted, upon revealing your true self to the world you live in.

From a purely logical problem solving perspective I see
A) You are going full-time / full transition in a year.  It is just a matter of time.
B) How can you possible keep on preventing the two worlds from colliding afterwards?
C) Official name change will impact some aspect of work. All places have a rumor mill
D) You may already only be fooling yourself at this point. So what can significantly change for the worse? Especially knowing people when gossiping will tend to think the worse, as in sex change candidate for them, already. I doubt, "It's just a phase" is bantered about much around the water cooler when your manner of presentation comes up.

Oh the power of self delusion it is a wonderful thing sometimes. I was told this weekend apart from work and my paper work (name change, medicare, bills) I'm practically out already.
With work the only people I see constantly are my punters (customers) and they have accepted me as I am right thanks to my broad product knowledge on most sports. With work I only see my co-workers a few times during the week, most of the time I'm just a name on a peice of paper. I am kicking myself that I didn't come out when my new main co-worker came in earlier this year thou.

[rosinstraya]

Hi IG,

I hope that's good news for you and that there'll be no stresses or any of that stuff.

Living as we do in NSW, the Anti Discrimination Board has this fact sheet about transgender rights in the workplace:

http://www.antidiscrimination.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/agdbasev7wr/adb/documents/pdf/transgender_discrimination_0311.pdf

This may be of use to you. It goes without saying, I hope you never have to make use of it.

And......do you think Australia can get a result against the fallen champions tonight?

Take care,


Ros

[immortal gypsy]

Hi Ros,

That fact sheet along with head office policy is what I am pinning my hopes on if I do come out. What is causing me stress at the moment is that
a) I have to wear an issued uniform. I have the womens style in one version and there is only slight difference in the other.
b) Somewhere, somehow head office has me listed down as a female already. (a little bit scary if you think about how much money goes through a gambiling agencies hands each day)
c) If you ever go into a TAB you usually find only one person behind the counter. I either work all day solo or have a short change over so there is not much interaction with my co-workers

Decisions Decisions, changing all the paperwork around is easy this is the real tough one

Oh and the Socceroos, any chance we can clone Timmy Cahill