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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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rachel89

An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel.

As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the
driver drive straight through without even slowing down.  Surprised as he
was, he didn't say anything, feeling himself a 'guest' and not wanting to
make waves.

The trip continued without event until the next intersection.

This time the light was green and, to the American's dismay, the cab
driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt.

Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver.  "Listen", he
says, "When you went through the red light, I didn't say anything.  But
why on earth are you stopping at a green light?"  The Israeli driver looks
at the American as if he was deranged.  "Are you crazy?!" he shouts.  "The
other guy has a red light!  Do you want to get us killed?!"


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rachel89

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." ;D


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Promethea

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning".

"I don't believe you", questions Dolly.

" It's true, no bull!", exclaims Daisy.
Life is a dream we wake from.



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Promethea

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One of them says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Life is a dream we wake from.



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lost._.at._.sea

Oh god.... I love this more than I should XD


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
"Oh darling, we must have the skin of dragons lest we be ripped apart by ourselves."
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rachel89

"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs."


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rachel89

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."


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Promethea

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt, who name him Ahmal. The other one goes to a family in Spain, and gets called Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, the woman tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband replies "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"











:-\ OK, I'll leave the room now...
Life is a dream we wake from.



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rachel89

A man saw his doctor about the green leaves protruding from his bottom. "Don't worry about them, that's just the tip of the iceberg"

this was just too awful not too share :)  :laugh:


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Stanna

Man walks into the doctors office and says: Doctor I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam. Doctor says: relax your two tents.
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rachel89

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
Doctor: "Just pull yourself together."


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V M

A guy calls a pizza delivery and orders a pizza with everything, hold the sausage

20 min.s later there's a knock at the door, it's the pizza guy  8)  He's holding the pizza box up with one hand but he has his other hand down his pants

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Promethea

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand and asks: make me one with everything.
Life is a dream we wake from.



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Promethea

I'm not even sure if this is bad or good...
Life is a dream we wake from.



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Beth Andrea

Quote from: Promethea on July 09, 2015, 04:49:39 AM
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand and asks: make me one with everything.

...And after eating, the monk understands that "one with everything" is already within him.

:D


I'm sorry, that was really bad.


;)
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Promethea

Life is a dream we wake from.



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